Week 4 Action

Well, I see I returned to earth this week with a resounding thud, though....

Tonights game will have some meaning! Badgergil just became a Ravens fan, while VBS is praying that someone took away Big Ben's motorcycle keys.... Heh heh, you should also pray that his offensive line remembers to block a little this week against a meat-eating Ravens front seven....

Today though, I must tell you, I'm setting aside my usual hate, bitterness, and discontent. I know, you're in shock. It's unbelievable.

No, really. I'm not going to talk about how the stupid Redskins, who had no pulse 3 weeks ago in their opener, suddenly stroll into Irving Texas and put the smack on the Cowboys. No, I'm not talking about it.

I'm not going to even MENTION the fact that The Doc specifically TOLD ME that Wisconsin was going to beat Michigan, and then, whoops, uhhh, did I just witness the biggest Michigan comeback in the history of the Big House in Ann Arbor??? I think I did.... Ouch. Whoa. Still reeeling.... not gonna talk about it.... Must... not.... talk... Yeah, as a gambling degenerate, I heard that Wisconsin hadn't gone into Ann Arbor as a favorite since..... well, since NEVER!! It never effing happened!! And it'll never happen again, either.... ugh.

I'm not going to ridicule Mike Shanahan... nope. I'm not going to ask myself out loud why I had Arizona instead of the Jets.... did I REALLY think 'Zona was going to fly across three time zones and wallop Brett Favre at home?? I might need my meds adjusted, if at any point I really thought that.... maybe discontinue the Lithium for awhile....

I'm not even going to gloat a little about the Tampa Bay Bucs....

Hey, who had "4" in the pool?? You know, the pool on which week Rodgers (TGAR) would go down with an injury?? Four, why is that number familiar.... hmm, 4, 4, rings a bell. Didn't we have a QB who was number 4?? We might have... have to look it up on the world wide interweb, I guess... Well, pay the man, Shirley, week 4 TGAR went down....

No, I'm not doing it. Today, I am all about THE MILWAUKEE BREWERS!!! Holy crap, we're back in the playoffs!!! It's a freaking miracle, but we did it!! 26 short years.... sigh. In the fall of 1982, I was a humble college student at Marquette University, struggling away, hanging on every pitch as the Brewers tried to put away the St Louis Cardinals... which, they could not. Gorman Thomas, 0-21 in the World Series... not good.

But we're back!!! Ahhh, back then, I was but a young lad, full of energy, enthusiasm, ambition, and optimism. Today, I get through the day with prescription drugs, alchohol, and a bad attitude. I once daydreamed about my bright future... now I find solace in my impregnable bunker, as I cradle an assault rifle... But it doesn't matter, because we're back in the Playoffs!!!

I'm not even going to dwell on this teams shortcomings... anything can happen from here on in, people... in 2006, The St Louis Cardinals limped into the playoffs leaking oil, blowing smoke, dumping radiator fluid, chugging along on bent rims and 3cylinders.... and then they won the World Series.

It.... Could.... Happen!!!



There's the Brewers Owner with CC, perhaps the greatest pickup in baseball history. Going on short rest 3 times, and pitching great, unbelievable. Most of the time, these short rest deals end very badly, and you wish they hand't done it. I still have bad visions of Randy Johnson getting rocked on short rest in the playoffs a few years ago....

Not only that, but after two entire generations of slugs have passed through here and hated it (Sheffield, Gary) and couldn't wait to get out of Milwaukee, CC seems genuinely thrilled to be here, and has really embraced this city and this team...

Keep in mind, this guy's contract is up. He's going to break the bank. He really shouldn't be risking his entire future to pitch on short rest for a team that in some ways, isn't his and won't be next spring... and yet, HE IS DOING IT!!! Talk about unselfish.... unreal.



This is Ryan Braun, in case you've been in a bunker for the last 6 months... What a huge huge huge player he has been. Less than a week ago, he hits a grand slam walk off home run that would have landed in Lake Michigan if that 3rd deck in left hadn't stopped it... and yesterday, a bigger-than-life 2 run blast in the 8th, when we needed it worse than oxygen... unreal.

So, on a day like today, I'm just gonna say:

G O B R E W E R S ! ! ! ! !

The Curse of Bobby Layne...

Well, as I sit here, pondering my week 5 picks, I have to say I'm amazed that Matt Millen is gone.... When you've gone so far into the sewer, at what point does one say "Okay, that's enough."???

Anyway, his record as a GM is quite brutal, to be sure. So much stuff happened on his watch, it's almost difficult to fathom. As a long suffering Brewers Fan, I like to think I've seen as much bad losing as is humanly possible, but this Lions team is right up there in the brutal, humiliating losses category...

Let's look at a couple coaches hired by big Matt:

(in fact, even before Millen got there, the Lions have been a real coaching graveyard. But seriously, Wayne Fontes is pretty much a joke, obviously. Convicted of Coke while an assistant, that didn't keep him from getting promoted, and having a kinda long run. He did have Barry Sanders, though... more on that later. Fontes was 67-71 in his tenure)

Marty Mornhinweg 2001-2003 5-27-0
He was considered a good hire at the time, a young up & comer with a lotta innvoative offensive ideas. He's an assistant with the Eagles now, but it seems unlikely he'll ever get a HC gig again... Pretty much a punchline for some bad HC jokes...

Steve Mariucci 2003-2005 15-28-0
Another guy considered a borderline genius, high energy guy, had a great record with the 49ers, and his stint as a QB coach with the beloved Pack is still remembered fondly, as he molded a raw kid named Brett Favre into a hall of famer... 15-28 is not good, but it's a breath of fresh air after Marty... Steve, much to my surprise, has run to the Network gig and apparently has no plans to re-emerge into coaching...

Some of these Millen highlights are truly breathtaking, though. Lets take a look:

The strange Gary Moeller Contract:
A couple games after taking over for a "dejected" Bobby Ross, Coach Moeller was given a 3 year contract, then fired at the end of the season. Moeller had to be laughing all the way to the bank as he got paid for the next two years while his replacement, Mornhinweg, would only win 5 games and lose 27 during this same stretch. Despite the poor performance of the team during those two years, Mornhinweg was given a guarantee that his job was safe after the season. A month after getting his job guarantee, Mornhinweg was fired. Screwed up coaching deals like these would be the norm rather than the exception as Millen's hiring practice of only interviewing one person would result in league fines and condemnation by minority leaders such as Jesse Jackson.

0-10 Start in 2001
The Lions 0-10 start caught the attention of Jay Leno making for some memorable monologues and skits. Sometimes the Lion fans would get in on the fun, displaying banners such as "This Isn't Funny" on Thanksgiving to a national audience. Finally the Lions beat the Vikings and while leaving the field, Johnnie Morton exclaimed "Jay Leno can kiss my ass". That Monday Jay brought in a live donkey and kissed the donkey while Johnnie Morton watched on a split screen in Detroit (He also said the Vikings were on suicide watch after losing to Detroit, the last jab at Detroit at least for that season).

0-24, Road Losses 2001-2003
The Lions went 3 entire seasons without winning a road game, shattering the old record and adding another prized piece of tin to their collection. The streak ended at 24 when the Lions beat Chicago at Soldiers Field in 2004. With salary caps creating parity in the league it is very doubtful that another team will ever break this record.

Millen Releases Johnny Morton
Matt Millen released Johnny Morton after the 2001 season (Morton caught 77 passes for 1,154 yards that year). 2 years later (2003), the two reunited when Morton's new team, the Kansas City Chiefs, beat the Lions in a "close" 45-17 blowout. After the game Morton told Millen to "kiss his ass" to which Millen replied "You faggot, yeah you heard me, you faggot!" Millen later apologized for his outburst. One year earlier (2002), Millen had insulted his own players by referring to one of them as a "devout coward" during a radio interview.

2005: FIRE MILLEN!!!!
Lion fans had to be proud of their team when television camera's captured Lion security chasing an individual with a "Fire Millen" sign throughout the stadium. Each time the fan eluded security the crowd would cheer. Occasionally the fan would pass the sign to other fans in a make shift form of keep away that must have really irked Ford Field security. Once the Fan was apprehended, the crowd began chanting "Fire Millen" to the obvious dismay of security. The incident would cause an uproar in the Detroit area and garnish National attention as the chant "Fire Millen" became the fans battle cry. "Fire Millen" chants were heard at Michigan State Basketball Games, Detroit Pistons Games, Detroit Red Wings Games and "Fire Millen Signs" have shown up on ESPN broadcast and Gil Thorp comic strips. Meanwhile "Keep Millen" signs would pop up wherever the Lions played on the road.

Joey Harrington's Revenge, 2006
Just when we thought the Thanksgiving Day humiliations could not get any worse, Joey Harrington returns to Detroit and leads his new team (Miami Dolphins) to a brilliant 27-10 victory over the hapless Lions. After the game Joey was voted MVP of the game and told interviewers it was the most satisfying win in his career. The Lions traded Joey for a conditional draft pick, most likely a fifth rounder. Believe it or not, the Lions actually led in this game 10-0 in the first quarter, but would be shut out and completely bore the holiday audience for the last 3 quarters.

John Kitna Prediction, 2007
Before the start of the season John Kitna predicted the Lions would win 10 games. Kitna looked like a genius and many thought the curse was ending early as the Lions jumped out to a 6 win and 2 loss start! However the curse would kick in with a fury in the second half of the season where the Lions would win only 1 more game and not only miss the playoffs but end up under 500 and joined another infamous list (teams who started 6-2 and missed the playoffs). Lion Offensive Coordinator Mike Martz, hailed as an offensive genius, was fired as a result of the collapse, another victim of the curse.

Lions First Lead of 2008
It looked like the curse was ending a couple weeks early as the Lions came roaring back from an early 21 - 0 deficit in their home opener and actually took their first lead of the season (25-24) with only 7:41 left to play. As the Detroit stadium erupted with applause, the curse kicked in so brutally that before the 2 minute warning would sound, the Lions would be down 48 to 25 thanks to 3 consecutive interceptions thrown by Detroit QB John Kitna. An eerily similar fate awaited them in the game vs the Packers...

Mike Martz Gets Revenge
After being fired as a scapegoat by the Detroit Lions, Mike Martz and ex Lion backup QB JT O'Sullivan soundly defeated the Lions 31-13 giving the Lions an 0-3 start after going undefeated in the pre-season. Detroits defense started each game going down 21-0, 21-0, and 21-3 respectively to 3 quarterbacks who had never started a game prior to this season. The awful start would lead to the firing of Matt Millen leaving him with an NFL record of 31-84 (10 more losses than any other NFL team over the same time frame). To fully appreciate the humiliation of this moment one has to remember that JT O'Sullivan was Lion QB John Kitna's backup the prior year.

You can read lots more at
http://www.curseofbobbylayne.com/

Quite fascinating... anyway, good luck this week!!

PS The Lane Kiffen Death Watch continues.... Is it so far fetched to think Al Davis might bring in Matt Millen??? Heh heh, I'm chuckling to myself just thinking about it, the comedic implications are so unbelievable.... How great would that be?!?!? Millen did get a super bowl Ring while wearing the silver and black.... Hee hee, could it happen??

Week 3 Action...

Well, an ACTUAL Sterling Performance from your Administrator!!!!

No, seriously!

I'm still in shock. I consulted the Elias Sports Bureau, and my own Director Of Research, and got this report. The last time I won a week was week 8, 2005.... Some of you may recall my amazing Season's Championship in 2006, but I did that without winning a single week.... and last year, again, I went 0 for 17.... So yeah, it's been awhile.

A little housekeeping.... It looks like a weekly win will pay about $47... I had been asked that.

I did get a few emails wondering if I'd lost my mind, taking the Cowboys for 16... Obviously, I may have lost my mind for a variety of reasons, to be sure... The Cowboys for 16 is just another brick in the wall. But really, #1, the Cowboys have actually been a little tougher on the road, and #2, I wondered if it would dawn on any to try to pressure Rodgers, behind our somewhat underwhelming offensive line....

So, I keep hearing that Lane Kiffen is going to get fired. What a thrill it must be to work for Al Davis.... almost as bad as working at my job.... Except young Lane is better looking, and gets paid a lot more than me...

I heard one of the Ford sons saying that if he was in charge, Matt Millen would be gone... NO, really? I'm not sure why Matt Millen doesn't just quit himself... As I pointed out before, he could go back to a network gig, and make plenty of cash...

How about this: Matt Millen quits, and goes to become Head Coach of the Oakland Raiders.... they deserve each other!!

The Brewers are in complete free fall.... This town is in shock. I am in shock, I'm not gonna lie to you, the playoffs were a foregone conclusion... Gives new meaning to the term "unbelievable".

Sounds like Al Harris is done for the year, and maybe for his career... A shame. A nice, underappreciated player.

My advice last week, to you Survivor Pool players?? Yeah, ignore that. I believe the Patriots and Colts were the 2 biggest favorites of the week... Sorry, my bad.

Anyway, Week 4 is approaching!!!

Week 2... The pain begins...

Alrighty then!!! Another sterling performance by your administrator.... NOT!!

Ouch.

Besides the beating I just took in this pool, I got bounced from my "Last man standing" pool this weekend... got a little cute with the Saints. Whoops. For those of you who are still alive in your "last man standing" pool, keep this in mind: just take the BIGGEST LOCK each week, and forget about "saving" a team for later...

Monjon and Elusive will have to explain to me how you take Washington over the Saints, after that absurd performance last Thursday.... But I digress....

Sharpcheddar has it wrapped up. Congrats to him. His kinda week, lots of upsets.

I watched the Packer game, and I'm not sure they won't go 19-0... and yet, pure Packer fans are expressing concerns... I get an Email that says "I'm thrilled we're 2-0, but..." and it goes on for 5 paragraphs about all the problems on the team. Problems?? They've been in total control for 8 quarters! The Great Aaron Rodgers (TGAR) has looked fabulous!! (I might have to stop putting the paranthesis after his name, for Pete's sake...) We have a stranglehold on our division already!! This guy who emailed me, the other thing is, he loves Uncle Tedly Thompson. Loves him. If you love Uncle Teddily, this has to be your dream come true. You finally have crowbar'ed Brett Favre off the team, and you're playing great ball. It doesn't get any better, does it????

This matchup with Dallas, okay, this is a big game, and Dallas probably wins. It looks like a preview of the NFC Championship to me.... see ya in January, fellas. The rest of the season is for home field, nothing more....

Keep in mind, I'm not a Tedly fan. I'm waiting for this team to implode, so we can fire him, and move forward.... But ya know, they look great.

Okay, sure, our offensive line could be better. It's basically "Mark Tauscher" and a lot of "not exactly...", but they're holding up.

By the way, what ever happened to relentlessly blitzing young QB's??? Didn't that used to be the theory?? Blitz the crap out of them, put 8 men in the box, Knock them into next week, and force them to make mistakes?? I don't see teams doing that to TGAR...

Another random thought.... Jon Kitna is around 25,000 passing yards, career. It takes around 30,000 to make to top 30 all time list.... And the list is a very impressive "who's who" of passers..... could he be the most undeserving of all time to make that list??? Just wondering...

Bill Simmons of ESPN's Page 2 brought up an intriguing point: how much does it suck to be Matt Millen right now??? Every job has it's ups & downs, obviously, but really, when the sucks/good ratio reaches 90/10 or so, don't you just have to quit?? Okay, so you're Matt Millen. Yeah, you get barrels of cash. But you could get cash with a network gig, so let's not act like he'd be hanging sheetrock or something... Okay, so you wake up, you're afraid to turn on a radio or a TV, because people are screaming about how much you suck, and they're right... you're afraid to leave the house in your Lincoln Navigator... You gotta show up to Ford field like at 4 AM and slink up to your luxury box, to make sure you don't bump into any fans, because you're gonna get an earful from them, to be sure.... Then you gotta sit there until noon.... Then you sit through a brutal game that your carefully constructed football team is never in, not for one moment....then you gotta wait till like midnight to leave, because again, you definitely don't want to run into any angry drunk fans who just paid through the nose to watch another debacle.... I dunno, when do you just quit???

Anyways, this is starting to get to be a long list, but here we go, Teams I am Never Picking Again (TIANPA):
Bengals... What happened to Carson Palmer??... Chiefs...Ugh, you lose to the Raiders, at home, Lane Kiffen about to be fired??? Ugh... Detroit... No comment necessary.... Seattle, wow, you're supposed to be walking away with the division????... Miami, obviously... And the Raiders... I just saw a news story, crazy wacky Al Davis wants to fire Lane Kiffen for "Insubordination", and not pay him for the final two years of his contract.... good luck, Al. I betcha Lane has already lined up a 6-pack of good lawyers to handle THAT little idea.... Talk about an organization in complete and total meltdown, ugh...

On Probation: San Diego, 0-2, Ladanian barely playing.... Minnesota, who was supposed to win our division, at least a game effort against the Colts.... The Colts, what's up with this team???

Alright people, preview of the Packers next opponent, the Dallas Cowboys, tonight.... get your popcorn ready!!! Gonna be a show!!!

PS by the way, I still need money from some of you.... If I don't get the money, you get booted. Real simple. Contact me!

The Brady Hit...

Okay, there's been a lotta talk about the Brady hit....

The league decided "It was legal."

Which should scare all of you very deeply....

Some people whose opinions I really respect thought the hit was fine.

I, for one, didn't like it.

Did that look like he was blocked into him??? Ahhh, no, not to me. It looks like a dude is down, with a running back laying on top of him, and he makes a very definite lunge to the knee, and that's it, season over.

This from a reader in Bill Simmons Column:
As a long-suffering Bengals fan, I immediately recognized the Brady hit as reminiscent to Kimo von Oelhoffen's hit on Carson Palmer in the 2004 playoffs. After the injury, Palmer's doctors said "it was career-ending." Obviously, Palmer was able to recover, but in my opinion, he has never been the same.

Amen.

Okay, so you don't care, you hate Tom Brady, you hate the Patriots, you are a big hater... fine. I get that. Hate away! Hate!

That is not the point.

The point is, your Quarterback could be next!

If that's TGAR (The Great Aaron Rodgers), how do you feel about the hit??? How about Tony Romo?? Tavaris Jackson?? Ben Roethlesbeger?? You're still fine with the hit?? Perfectly legal play?? I doubt it very very very much.

The league is fine with these blatant cheap shot type of hits. And that's the problem.

I'll stop it right now. Pollard gets suspended for as long as Brady is out. He sits at home, and makes 1/3 of his salary. KC, however, still pays his whole salary, his salary counts against the cap, his roster spot still counts, and the other 2/3 goes to Tom Brady's favorite charity.

Problem solved. No more cheap shots at QB knees and ankles.

There. Now I'm a high priced consultant to Roger Goodell, with access to a Gulfstream V, an insane compensation deal, and a fat expense account....

Week One, in the books.

Well, Congrats have to go to Elusive... a big win in Week One.

With an autopick, no less... I may just turn that on and let it go....

TGAR (The Great Aaron Rodgers) era began last night with a win. And a fairly tidy performance, too... No picks, made some plays with his arm and his legs... not bad.

I was kinda shocked by the Vikings. Where exactly does all this pre-season hype come from?? That is not a good football team... They're not good. Brad Childress needs to hire a "reality Coordinator" for the sidelines.... his 4th quarter time management indicated to me that Mr. Childress is on a different planet. Brad, you need two scores... what the hell are you doing?!?!? Fine, whatever, we'll take a win, handed to us by a hated division opponent... I'll bring this up one more time, with all the disbelief I can muster: These are the Vikings that went to the Meadowlands late last season and PASTED the New York Giants... (Shaking my head, muttering to myself...)

What's with Zigi Wolff, the Owner of the Vikings?? Did you see that shot of him, sitting by himself in that box???? He doesn't have an entourage, or a posse, or some bootlickers, or anything to hang and watch the game with??? That was nearly as disturbing as that shot of Vinny Cerrato during that Redskins game. Is it just me, or are the millionairres getting stranger and stranger????

I see the "Improved" Raiders looked real good.... NOT!!! Wow. Al, it's time to retire, dude. Really. No, really dude, it is so over.... Call your office, bring in the lawyers, and sign control over to someone.... it is OVER.

(I'm picturing Al Davis, channelling the Late John Belushi in "Animal House", where he screams "Nothing is over until WE SAY IT IS!!!!" sorry...)

Alrighty then, next week people, we have MORE football action! Yes, there is MORE! Maybe it's time for ME to retire.... My picks are showing a distinct lack of the Committment To Excellence, and I'm definitely not living the "Just Win Baby" philosophy either.... I better check the mirror, make sure I'm not wearing some funny glasses, and a white windbreaker, and muttering about how the opposing quarterback must go down, and he must go down hard....

(and if you don't "get" that blatant Raiders / Al Davis reference, I pity you. I really do.)

Until next time....

Week One....

Well, Week one is ocming to a close.... 2 more games.

We have all this new blood, yet Gregslo, Sears, and Elusive have risen to the top again. Some things never change.

Lotta people still mathmatically alive, though, like me and Erin07... Tonights action will have some meaning.

Can someone tell me why I only had 7 on The Cowboys?? I don't know what I was thinking there....

Tom Brady goes down.... wow. Now what am I gonna do?? It was so easy to just take Patriots for 16 every week.... now I have something else to worry about....

Chicago beats Indy??? Here's another one, according to the American Meterological Society, Hell just froze over!!! I heard another one, science fiction filmmaker Al Gore is going to be the new spokesman touting the benefits of Ford's F350 Super Duty "Harley Davidson" Limited Edition pickup truck.... Unbelievable!

Brett Favre looked okay for the Jets. I hope he continues to do well.

Cowboys looked good.... Paying Jason Garrett all that money wasn't a bad idea after all. Their offense looked very smooth. That offensive line dominated.

Detroit not handling Atlanta, either, wow. What would it take to fire Matt Millen??

We'll all be watching tonight, I'm sure.... I might even stay up, despite that being my sleepy-time, before going in for my thrilling 3rd shift gig. I can't wait to see TGAR (The Great Aaron Rodgers) make his debut as a starter in the NFL...

See ya!

And they're off!!!

The season is OFFICIALLY UNDERWAY!!!!

I see Sharpcheddar, Badgergil, Air Myles, and Kathb4 have taken control for the moment.... firm believers in Tom Coughlin and the super crazy tight ship he runs, eh???? Oh well.

Wow, did the Redskins look completely and utterly lifeless out there???

Could that offense have been any less inspired?? Okay, I only saw part of the first half, but still... that was pathetic.

It was great to see real football again, though, I must say....

We do have some new people... welcome to all of you.

Remember, at any time, you can roll your mouse over "Standings" on the website, and then click "weekly stnadings" to see this week's action so far....

You can also activate an "autopick" option, as Elusive did, so that in case you forget to make your picks, an autopick will be placed for you... which may not be ideal, but is better than a zero....

Enjoy the weekend!!!

T-Minus 12 Hours!!!!

The Astronauts are in the spceship... the Liquid Oxygen is flowing into the tanks.... Pretty soon, this thing is going to LAUNCH!!!!

So remember kids, get your picks IN, get them in NOW, Get them in NOW!!!

You're still sitting there?? Ahh, your picks are in. Good for you.

This is looking like a tough week already.... How about tonight, Giants and Washington. Hmmm... the ultra overrated Giants, who have lost 2 vital pieces of their overrated defense, and Jeremy Shockey, who I think they will miss badly, versus the up and coming (possibly) Redskins.... Hmmm...

Speaking of the Redzkins, Uncle Tedly strikes again!! Yes, he let go Jon Ryan, a perfectly serviceable punter, and chose instead to go with some bum the Redksins cast off earlier.... Like those guys in the Guinness Beer commercial say: Brilliant!!

Also, we lost our long snapper, and picked up some other dude early in the week.... should put the excitement back into every placekick, every field goal, every punt.... Nice. Hold your breath on those long field goals, as our new punter and new snapper try to get in sync with our placekicker.... should be fun!!!

Ahhh yes.... Packer fans, batten down the hatches... we can now hunker down and wait for the Thompson Era to mercifully come to an end....

Also, I meant to note, you can SUBSCRIBE to this blog, and be alerted when I post something....