Week 8, in the books.

Well, The Titans took control of the AFC South last night with a huge win... Congrats to Smitty201 for winning week 8.

I am told by my sources that Smitty201 and Air Myles are husband and wife!!

Yikes! Someone has to go to a Sports Bar to watch last night's game, I think... That gets a little tense, with two people pulling hard for opposite teams...

Also, Congrats have to go out to VBS, who won week 7... I fell a little behind last week, with all the vacationing... That's 2 wins for VBS, and 2 for Badgergil... With one win, we have Elusive, Sharpcheddar, Patrick686 (me, if you didn't surmise that), and Smitty201.


Some huge games next week... Green Bay at Tennessee?? Wow. How about Dallas at the Giants?? Not big enough?? How about New England at Indianapolis?? How about Pittsburgh at Washington???

Okay, tell you what: I'll take Tampa Bay for 120, and give me 1 point on the rest.... Heh heh, honestly, I'd be willing to do that. I guess that's not how it works....

Good luck next week people. I don't wanna be a buzz kill or anything, but the season is half over already... I know, I know. Half over. It's just getting rolling.... (Opens another beer, lights another Marlboro, and paces his condo, muttering to himself...)

This World Series is a joke. Terrible weather, absurd game times, late starts... Fellas, how about at least a weekend day game??? No, they're afraid to compete with football. It's ridiculous. Trying to play baseball in 30 degrees and rain?? That's not baseball, that's a contest of survival, nothing more....

Seriously, when you were younger, and you were really fired up to play more golf, did you ever go out like in late fall, trying to stretch the season a little?? Yeah. You were so numb you couldn't feel your hands... the ball was a frozen rock that wouldn't fly... and when you got to the clubhouse, you pounded beers with your buddies and said "Hey, we DID IT!!!" Nobody said "wow, I played great", because it SUCKED. That's right, it sucked. It wasn't even golf. It was like climbing Mount Everest. Doing it was the goal in itself. The game & score were meaningless. Then when you got home, you took a screaming hot shower, and as the numbness went away, the PAIN started... Ugh. And back then, I didn't have the prescriptions laying around that I do now... I just had to sit there and suffer...

Yeah, well, that's what this World Series has degenerated into. We're trying to crown a World Champion here, and we're making a mockery of the entire sport.... It's wrong, on many levels...

Now I'm gonna put on my consultant's hat again: Baseball drops down to 130 games a season. We go into 4 rounds of playoffs, all 7 game series. STILL wraps it up in early September, before football really gets rolling.... Weather is still good, games could be played no problem... Better TV, better fan interest, better everything.

There. You owe me ten million dollars.

Steve Czaban had this idea, which also has great merit. Neutral site World Series. At a monster ballpark outside Las Vegas. Hell, they already hold the little league and college World Series at a neutral site every year!! Like people need an excuse to go to Vegas anyway, but there ya go!! Philly fan, take a week off and fly to the desert. Weather, perfect, accomodations, plentiful... That's another no-brainer idea. Think I'm crazy??? Join the club. But seriously, The Mac-Daddy of them all, The Super Bowl, is played in a neutral site, to ensure good weather and a legitimate title game. College Bowls are played in neutral good weather sites.

See how easy this is??? It's really time for me to get a huge glass corner office somewhere and start making the millions I so richly deserve. Clearly, the Donkeys in charge are too stupid to figure this out, so, I'm right here. I'm gonna hit the "Publish" button, and my phone is going to ring....

I won't forget you after I hit the big time. You have my word.

Week Ocho!!!

Yes, week 8... It was over for me before it even started....

Despite the fact that we ALL have the Tennessee Titans, this game will have meaning!!

Yes, Air Myles needs Indy to Rise Up and smack the Titans... In Nashville, by the way... Yeah. Smitty 201 wins it if Jeff Fischer's well-coached squad takes care of the Hated Colts. If I'm reading this right, I think that's what I see here.

So, good luck.


Smile, Wade, you just won a football game.

Man, is there enough drama in Dallas??? Seriously fellas, someone lock Jerry Jones in the can for a couple days, kick the reporters off the property, shut the eff up, and play football.... I couldn't handle it, I took Tampa for 3. That was a tough game for me, I have a soft spot for the Cowboys, and Tampa is like my "home away from home" team...

I heard a strange one, Bill Cowher to Dallas as HC... Probably a great idea, but I don't see Jerry doing it....



Hey everyone, Meet Mike Singletary, new coach of the 49ers... I thought they might beat the pathetic Seahawks, but it was not to be.... How do you like sending Vernon Davis to the locker room during the game?!?!? Wow. If he was trying to send a message, he sent it. New Sheriff in town, kids... Now, if he can avoid turning into some kind of obsessive compulsive freak like Tom "I have a perpetually constipated look on my face" Coughlin, he'll be okay....


Packers bye week, obviously... Here's Brett Favre, running for his life against the hapless Chiefs... NO cell phone visible in the picture... maybe he left it in his locker. Anyway, if the Jets "Were who we thought they were" (thanks Denny), they should have covered the number easily.... But after 3 picks (and some booing), Favre comes thru with a late TD pass to win it....


A Jacksonville Wideout dropping the game winner. Thanks bro. I had you HEAVILY in my pool... Every time I start to believe in Jacksonville, they lose.

My list of "Teams I'm never picking again" got so out of control, I had to scrap it. Ugh. This football season is beginning to feel like a codeine deficiency...

Congrats also have to go out to KathB4, aka "The Doc".... She lasted waaay longer than me in a Poker Tourney yesterday, went very deep, and ended up juuust a bit short of the money. Nice job!

Week 7 Action..

Well, tonight's AFC Showdown, Denver at New England, will have some meaning!

VBS and Sharpcheddar will be more than passive observers... good luck fellas.

The rest of us, ehhh, not so much....

So much drama in Dallas, it's hard to sum it up in less than 100 pages. Another ridiculous loss, for starters. To the Rams!! The Rams! Break up the Rams, they're 2-0 in the last 2 weeks!!!



Yeah, that's not what you want to see, as a Cowboys fan...



As a pre-cursor to firing a coach, an Owner / GM must first give him the obligatory "vote of confidence"... They always do, seriously. So, you'll be glad to know that this morning Jerry Jones says he has "No plans to replace Wade Phillips."

So, Wade, you may want to just hold off on mailing in that house payment....



Will the real Green Bay Packers please stand up??? Wow. Dismantling the Indianapolis Colts... Whew. Didn't this team get schooled by the powerhouse Atlanta Falcons a couple weeks ago?? Did they switch uniforms before the game?? Wow.

They're saying Brett Favre "called the Lions" and tried to give them ideas how to beat the Packers.... and people are all upset. Let's just settle down, kids. Charges of tampering were swirling around the Vikings, and that turned out to be squat, so let's hold the phone. For starters, if the Lions attended a Packers practice, would it help any?? Second, what could Brett tell them anyways?? These teams go thru these games films with a microscope, like analyzing the Zapruder film... Is there really anything there they haven't seen??? Why would he do it, anyway??? To embarrass Tedly Thompson??? Tedly embarrasses himself every time he drives in to work, he doesn't need any help..... How's that new punter, that Frost kid workin' out, eh Ted??? How's the search for a new punter going??? Yeah, I thought so...

The Raiders won a game!!! Tom "Fix My" Cable could retire right now, and have a .500 record as coach of the Raiders, and have by far the best winning percentage of their last, ohh, I dunno, 5 coaches?? Okay, so it was an overtime super-long field goal (56 or so, I think?), but hey, they won. They don't look good. That game had "tie" written all over it. Sebastian Janikowski can now add "longest game winning field goal in overtime history" to his trophy case... Take it, dude. There's no Super Bowl in your future....

Alright people, 7 weeks down. By now, I should have a clue what's going on in this league... And yet, I still don't know!!!

Week 6

Well, week 6, upsets galore...

Badgergil has gone back to back!!! Whaa?? I'm not kidding. The very tricky back to back repeat. Congrats to that lucky bas-.. I mean, congrats for some great picking there.....

Gregslo threatened to go to an autopick on the phone with me a couple weeks ago, and I guess he wasn't bluffing.....



How about those Pesky Rams, coming off a bye, going on the road with their new head coach, and getting a big win over the Redskins, who people were starting to pencil in for the NFC East Title.... I would have bet my house on a straight up win by the Redskins.... And thank God I didn't. Just a reminder kids, if you're gonna gamble, never never bet more than you can afford to lose, no matter how solid a lock it looks like....



How about dem Cowboys?!?!? Whoops... Ouch. Blocked punt. Wow, where's the Tylenol?? Man, the hated Redskins lose, and the Cowboys drop one too. I heard Chris Landry last night on Fox Sports Radio (142 XM), who is a scout, and I generally love his opinions, he has a ton of great insights. His take (not word for word, okay purists, but to my best 1 AM recollection) : "On film, this team is starting to look a little undercoached to me. They have a fine defensive coordinator as their head coach, a fine linebackers coach for their deffensive coordinator, and a fine quarterbacks (pronounced qua-tah-bahcks, with the southern accent) coach as their offensive coordinator..." Ouch.



Hey everyone, meet Tom Cable, new Head Coach for The Raiders. Hey Tom. Good luck, buddy. At the end of the first quarter, they were leading 3 to nothing. Unfortunately, football is 4 quarters per game. Your final, Saints 34, Raiders 3. Oops. "Obviously, not the start we were hoping for," said Cable. I guess not, no...

Lane Kiffen's Agent and Lawyer have come out of the woodwork, too, by the way, in case you were feeling bad for young Lane.... I'd be shocked if he didn't get paid. But then, I'm shocked more & more often, these days.... at many things.

Atlanta beat the stupid stinking Bears in a miracle finish too... Truly. Bears go ahead on a late touchdown. Kyle Orton actually looked like a QB for a minute there... Ahead by 1, the ridiculously lucky Bears kick off... On the ensuing kickoff, the Falcons run it back to almost midfield, if memory serves. Which is unreal, but the long return runs the clock down to a measly 6 seconds. 6 seconds, what can they do in 6 seconds?? How about a long pass to the sidelines, guy falls out of bounds, there is 1 second left on the clock. The Vaunted Bears Defense (VBD)leaves this guy alone on the sidelines with 6 seconds left in the ballgame. Unreal. Isn't that Football 101, cover the sidelines on D with the clock running down??? Not in Chicago it ain't. Lovie Smith, Defensive Genius. Falcons bring out their kicker, Field Goal is good as time expires, see you later.

Matt Ryan, Falcons rookie QB, looks like the real deal, by the way. With 6 seconds to go, he was cool as a cucumber....

Well, good luck next week!!!

Week 5

Well, week 5 isn't over, but for our purposes it is.... Badgergil has done it. Nice job man.

It's back to Reality, I guess. Brewers have bene eliminated...



There's Jeff Suppan... $10 million a year, for that. Gives up a couple of bing dingers.... Nice. We're stuck with this guy for a little while....



There's Corey Hart and Prince Fielder... ouch. Prince finally got a hit in the postseason, a late, meaningless shot to right... You'll have to consult the Jedi Master of the Late Meaningless Home Run (LMHR) to put it in perspective, Mr. Rob Deer. Deer was truly the master of the solo shot in the 8th inning of an 8-1 blowout... That Homer put Prince on the Rob Deer list of all stars, to be sure... The Prince Fielder era has to be over, doesn't it??

And Corey Hart, wow. How was this guy an all-star??? In one of the most brutal plays in postseason history, Hart steps into the batters box with the bases loaded... Swings at the first pitch, a very low pitch, nearly in the dirt... you couldn't have hit it without a 6-iron... He miraculously makes contact, hits a very weak dribbler back to the pitcher, who picks it up, throws home for the out, and the catcher throws behind Hart to first, bang, double play, rally over. Ouch.

Not having inflicted enough pain yet, he then proceeds to get a hit in a later game, a nice liner to right... Hart brilliantly overruns first, the right fielder throws back to first behind him, he can't get back, bang, he's out. Ugh.



My guy Ryan Braun. He had an okay series. NO homers, but a few hits at least.

A local radio host has claimed that the Cubs demise gives him "no comfort."

Disagree. The Cubs, with home field advantage, getting swept, was utterly glorious to see. Dudes who we couldn't get out with an M4 assault weapon, going down on strikeouts over and over... awesome.

How about Lou Pinella... Is this guy the Marty Schottenheimer of baseball? 2001, he takes a Mariners team that won 116 games in the regular season into the playoffs, where they are swept by the Yankees in the ALCS... 2007, he wins the division with the Cubs, and they go 0-3 and are swept out of the NLDS.... 2008, he takes a better Cubs team into the playoffs, and they go 0-3 and are swept out of the NLDS... 0- for 10 in his last ten playoff games.... The Donut. Breathtaking. Truly. Is it wrong of me to enjoy that?? Is it wrong to giggle a little right now, thinking of the head-splitting pain the little Cub fans are enduring right now??? I think not...

Anyway... I wondered why Philly was favored in that game, and I guess I was right. The Redskins have made a statement in the brutal NFC East.

I freely admit I didn't hardly see any of the Packer game. Sunday morning I had a bad feeling and switched the pick to Atlanta.

Sadly, I also had Detroit. The Curse of Bobby Lane is over. The 50 years has expired. So I guess this is just plain old Lions football now, no curse involved... There might be a "hangover" period after Matt Millen, I guess...

Al Davis finally fired Lane Kiffen... "For Cause". Huh?? Wait a minute... if losing a lotta games could void your contract, uhhh, wouldn't that apply to every head coach who ever got fired, ever in the history of football?? I think it would. Good luck with that Al... Heh, like Lane Kiffen hasn't had his lawyers on speed-dial ever since last January... Roger Goodell, pick up the white courtesy phone, one of your owners is spiraling out of control, and has become a complete and total embarrassment....

I heard a radio guy, JT "The Brick", trying to defend Al Davis, and that's even more embarassing than Al Davis himself. Really. Dude, it's time to sign the papers, go home, and get a Cream Soda, alright??? Pour some Brandy in that Ensure, and get comfortable, okay?? Seriously. It's really kinda sad, this was once a proud and dynamic franchise... Al Davis was once the commissioner of the AFL.... he's had a real nice lifetime of great accomplishments.... Now, sadly, all we're going to remember is a crazy freak (who looks like a zombie from that Will Smith Movie "I Am Legend") ranting at a podium.... I like how he's gone to the "Emporer Palatine" collars on his sweatshirts, too, that's a good look....

Good luck next week!

Week 4 wrapup...

Okay, so the Steelers pulled out a nail-biter, to give VBS the big win... Congrats.

As usual, some tough games coming up this week... I can't even think about it right now....

Brewers lost.... I was going to gloat on people, that the ONE GOOD THING about working nights is that I was firmly ensconsed in front of my big screen, lovin the TBS-HD feed coming thru my AT&T U-Verse.... I was lovin it until the game started... ouch. NO hit thru 5?? Hmmm..

But look, if we win today, WE have home field advantage the rest of the way, it's a 3-game series, 2 in Miller Park. How about THEM apples!

For Laughs, let's take a quick peek at some of the LEAST SURPRISING STORIES I've seen lately... Least surprising, here we go:

#1, Ricky Williams says he "misses pot"...



Sure, riiight... almost cost you everything, your career, your millions... yeah, I can see that. I drank too much Yukon Jack once, I can't even LOOK at the bottle, to this day.... But then, why am I not surprised???

#2, Tony Mandarich Used Steroids at Michigan State?!?!



Who didn't know THAT?!?!? Wow, there's a story... This is still a very painful topic for all of Packer Nation.... All you have to do is say "Tony Mandarich" to a Packer fan, and you can watch their face turn red, and their eyes bug out, and their jaw clench... Reviewing that draft, A dude Named Troy Aikman was taken Number One... He was okay, I guess, if you like Hall of Famers, and 3 time Super Bowl Champions... (/understatement mode off)

Then there was Tony Mandarich, the Greatest Offiensive Line Prospect of All Time... Hmm. Making it DOUBLY painful is this little factoid: The Chicago Bears, our slime-covered competitors to the south, offered us 2 #1's and 2 #2's for this pick. We coulda STUCK IT TO THE BEARS big time, but Noooooo, we had to have this guy.... (groans, reaches for painkillers...)

Third pick in that draft was Barry Sanders... Need I say more?? I don't think so... Let's move on, it's too painful.

#3. Olympic Officials Clear Chinese Gymnasts



Yeah, why am I not surprised. According to the Washington Post, the IOC has "reviewed the documents" and they are "satisfied", and consider the matter "closed." Wow. Yeah, there's nothing more legitimate than fake passports produced by a brutal oppressive dictatorship and ponied out to IOC idiots... All I can say is Wow. There's the "Olympic Spirit" right there... I'm proud to say I watched zero minutes and zero seconds of the Olympics.

So anyway, could you even rank those in order, from most surprised to least surprised. I can't. Hey, this just in, Clay Aiken is Gay!! Whaaa?? Who didn't know that???

Anyway, good luck this week. My heat just went on in the house... Summer is officially OVER. Not a good development... (reaches for the Jack Daniels...)