Week 12 wrap-up

Alright people, we have a FIRST TIME WINNER!!!

Yes, KATHB4 has broken through after 27 weeks of picking... Congrats on that.

Another wild and crazy week of NFL action... crazy.

Will the real Green Bay Packers please stand up??? Was that the same team that smacked the evil slime-ridden Chicago Bears into the dirt??? I guess they played 30 minutes of good football yesterday... Sadly, football games are 60 minutes apiece in the NFL....



There's the man, Aaron Rodgers.....

I heard Fox Sports "Superscout" Chris Landry say at the beginning of the year, "With Favre, this team is a Super Bowl Team. With Rodgers, you just don't know..."

I guess we're finding out.

Meanwhile, lets review a couple recent Jets games, shall we??? Okay, the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets waltz into Foxboro and, Ohhh nuthin, smack the Patriots in the face.... next, they fly to Nashville, and hand the undefeated Tennessee Titans their first loss, and make it look easy... That #4, he's not bad... that's a huge two weeks, right there...

I'll tell you right now, I'm pulling for him. I have no ill will towards Mr. Favre... Packers didn't want him, he went someplace else. Send your hate mail to Thompson, Tedly L. He's your John Wilkes Boothe on this one...

I always thought I'd see Brett in another Super Bowl... like, errr, last season.... Still not over that loss to the stupid, stinking Giants in Lambeau Field to "Mr. Constipated" Tom Coughlin.. (reaches for the Advil, swallows another handful, washes it down with a Diet Coke, and lights another Marlboro). I guess we might see him in a Jets uniform in another Super Bowl. And you know what? Good for him. I hope he wins a ring with the Jets. They can put that on Uncle Tedly's professional tombstone...

I guess we can't lay all the blame on Rodgers, although I am really starting to question his accuracy. He missed a guy wide open for a walk-in touchdown in the ffirst half, huge play. Some ugly picks, that out route on the left side was so underthrown, the DEFENDER had to come back for it.... sigh...

As far as the Stages of Having Derrick Frost as your Punter, (apologies to Elisabeth Kubler Ross), I'm still caught between Denial and Anger... Acceptance is never gonna happen. This donkey can't be our punter, can he?? he can't be. I must have taken too many of my pills again.... Or, this is part of some wierd promotion, where a fan in the stands comes out and punts, right???

Waittaminute, we might be better off with a random fan... One low short line drive return magnet, and a couple of ugly shanks later.... Uuuuggghhh. Ohhh, the nausea, the headache, the dizziness, disorientation, confusion, mood swings, the dry heaves... All symptoms of having Frost as your punter. There's so many commercials for medications, isn't there something that Packer Fans can take, until we find a punter???

That whole first half, how many Saints drives started on the WRONG side of the 50?? Are you kidding me?? This guy IS KILLING US!!!!

So anyway, division race, pretty much over. Rodgers can take all that beautiful cash and start making tee times in San Diego for December... won't be a problem, no annoying playoff football conflicts... Probably get a great deal on a little starter mansion out in Palm Springs, too... He'll have plenty of time to shop for that. Playoffs, man, who needs 'em?? Cutting into your personal time like that... it's crap. Dude makes 5 starts in the NFL, and signs a blockbuster deal. Tony Romo had 15 starts before wildman free spender Jerry Jones inked him to a monster deal.... Keep that in mind, as we go forward under "The Great Aaron Rodgers".

It's a crazy holiday week. I'm kinda busy, but before I go, best wishes to you and your families over Thanksgiving... We all have much to be thankful for. Get yourself a Turkey sandwich, and plop your butt down on a couch in front of a 60 inch plasma, and enjoy....

I'm Tied for the Lead!!!

I'm Tied for the Lead!!

Heh heh... I've been DYING to say that.... It was worth it, to risk another week's flameout on thursday night....

I guess I'm not the only one killing Donovan McNabb... This from Warren Sapp:

"Donovan, your legacy will be throwing up in the Super Bowl, Rush Limbaugh and now -- not knowing there were ties!!!"

I might throw in Campbell's Soup Commercials too...

Web sites I want to see started:

(This is in the vein of "The curse of Bobby Lane")

4thquartermcnabb.com - a listing of all of McNabb's famous epic meltdowns in the 4th quarter of games.

Ouridiotkicker.com - break down bad kickers and bad kicks around the leauge. I'm really in heavy denial that Frost is our punter. Hopefully, we can keep winning 37-3 from here on out, and punting won't matter... Picture of Scott Norwood has to be on the home page...

Random thought on Mike Vick: does he see Falcons games on the Club Fed TV?? How does he feel about Matt Ryan being better than he ever was??? Do the other inmates talk a lotta trash about this?? I wonder about these things....

Anyways, huge football weekend coming up. Enjoy.

Week Eleven Results...

Alright, we have a result. The fundamentally sound SEARS wins week eleven. Nice job buddy. 1 wrong. One. Erin07 only had 2 wrong, also a nice effort...

Wide right AGAIN for the Buffalo Bills??? Hasn't there been enough of that???

(Do you people GET all my obscure references, or do I need to add like a "Cliff Notes" at the bottom of each column??? Let me know.)

(Cliff Note: A vastly superior Buffalo Bills Team Qb'ed by Jim "Machine Gun" Kelly imploded against a weak-ass Giants team in the Super Bowl years ago. The final stomach punch was a Scott Norwood game winning Field Goal that sailed wide right as time expired...)

Donovan McNabb didn't know that a regular season game could end in a tie... huh? Whaa?? I've poo-poo'ed this, but maybe it really is time for him to leave Philly. He's gotten an amazing free pass in Philly on being a choke artist in the 4th quarter, if you ask me, but I don't really see all their games.

Packer fans mainly remember how they converted 4th and 26 against us once... Donovan McNabb should be sending Christmas gifts to Darren Sharper every year for that one...Still painful. And maybe Ed Donatell, while he's at it...

(Cliff Note: Packers went on to lose that game. Darren Sharper, Hall of Famer in his own mind, was the Packers Safety on the play who clearly had no clue what the hell he was doing on the play. Ed Donatell was the D-Co-ordinator for the Pack who ended up getting fired over the still infamous "4th and 26" incident...)

Actually, Packer Nation is still snorting the cocaine of that huge Packer win over the slimeball Chicago Bears... and, to add a little "freebase" to the killer buzz we're enjoying, we're close enough to Chicago to hear their local sports talk shows CRUSHING the Bears.... to hear these fans bleating into their telephones, to hear their pain, their agony, their heartbreak, pouring out over the AM airwaves.... It's beautiful, man. Beautiful.

Again, some intriguing matchups coming up.... Obviously, we have the Packers at the Saints, Monday Night Football... Yeah, note to all bosses in Packerland, don't get your hopes up for any productivity on Tuesday, okay?? Yeah. That's a big game. The slimy Bears probably can get a win at St. Louis, so we need to beat the Saints in their own place... and we haven't looked so hot on the road, so...

Indy at San Diego. The implosion of the Norv Turner Chargers appears to be just about complete... Peyton Manning could drive the silver spike thru Norv's heart with a win here....

NY Jets at Tennessee... Huge. It's huge. If the Jets lose, Patriots are playing at Miami, they fall into a divisional tie with the winner of that game... Really, in September that game looked like you could give it to the Pats, but now, that game has some showdown implications....

The staggering, stumbling, reeling, Bills go to KC... could they end the 4-game skid??

KC... Is it time to officially start referring to Bernard Pollard as Bernard Karmell Pollard, like we do with Lee Harvey Oswald and John Wilkes Booth??

(Cliff Note: Bernard Karmell Pollard is the KC Defender who cheap-shotted Tom Brady's knee, and ended his season. So there, you're up to speed) Seriously, Aaron Kampman had a chance to take a shot at Kyle Orton last Sunday, and let it go with a hand graze, that humurously caused Orton to visibly flinch and check his ankle.... There's your season highlight, KC fan: Bernard Karmell Pollard knocking Brady out for the season... Enjoy.

(Cliff Note #2: From the dawn of time in the NFL, you do not "cheap shot" future HOF QB's. You just don't. When the Giants cheap shotted Mighty Joe Montana on the last play of a season, breaking his arm, that was not good. Nobody except scuzzy die-hard Giants fans thought it was anything but cheap, and weak, and utterly obnoxious to real football. You JUST...DON'T...DO...IT. Period. End of discussion.)

Week Eleven

Anticipating your question, here is the answer regarding TIES, from the director of the Website:

Hi Patrick. For ties you get 1/2 the points rounded down the nearest whole number. So for you, you had 11 points on the game so you get 5 points. If you had 10, you would also get 5 points.

Should clear that up. I was adding up some totals, and was befuddled, because none of them were correct...

Anyways, it looks like perennial power Sears will win if Cleveland can pull out a win in Orchard Park... And if Buffalo should take care of bidness at home, Elusive will win.... Good luck tonight, fellas.

I thought I was a degenerate gambler for taking NE for 14 Thursday.... I saw that game. My AT&T U-verse gives me NFL Network in HD... heh heh, not a bad deal. So clearly, my week was over before it started... Jets looked awfully good. The game was really never that close. Jets were pretty much in control all night. And it's not that the Patriots played bad... Although Cassel is really good on short routes between the 20's... he's kinda worthless in the red zone. The play to Moss was a true miracle...

Talk about gamblers though, Sharpcheddar had the Pack for 16. Whew. A team that couldn't run or stop the run for the last two weeks, going against a Bears squad that has owned us the last couple of years... That's gambling. I'm not worthy.



How about that Pack!!! Insane. A tale of two teams, to be sure.... Miracle of miracles, we never really needed a big punt, thank god for that....



This is a Packer Tight End doing the Lambeau Leap after a touchdown reception... So apparently, Mike McCarthy DID know that it was legal to throw a pass to a tight end.... I wonder why he is so utterly and completely opposed to the practice of that??? I dunno...

How about those Cowboys! Are you kidding me?? I shoulda took Dallas for 14... If only I knew what ONE GUY could do for a football team....



I'll tell you what, that is a completely different team with Romo in there... What a difference a week makes. The whole team came to life. They looked like they all jumped in that pool from the movie "Cocoon"... Amazing.



That's your guy, right there... Saved their season in Landover Maryland last night...



The Cowboys Offensive line hasn't blocked anyone in their last two games.... suddenly last night, there are holes, Barber is running wild... unbelievable.

On the Road to 0-16, the Lions lost again, although the ticker was scaring me a little... They have Tampa next week, and the Titans on Thanksgiving Day... So they seem assured of reaching 0-12, at least...

Arizona got ANOTHER road win... okay, it was at the hapless Seattle Seahawks, but still... Warner, another big 300+ passing day... Warner for MVP!!!



Alright, better late than never... it's taken me all frickin' day to put this together... Obviously, the Pack and Da Boys winning totally soothed my pain at the Patriots loss... no references to how many pills I needed to take today. I'll try to do better tomorrow, I promise...

I suppose realizing that even if the Patriots win, like they shoulda, I still don't win the week, also helped.... Sears only had one wrong.... amazing performance.

Later!!

Week 10, put it to bed...

Alrighty, it's officially Badgergil... Dirty rotten piece of -, errr, I mean, nice picking there, buddy. Wow. I'm officially humbled. 4 wins, with a back-to back thrown in... it's getting a little ridiculous. After I listen to talking heads for a week tell me that Denver literally has no defense, they actually just line up 5 guys against your 11, and try to stop you... Yeah. Whatever. I'm done listening.

It kind of occurred to me briefly, I wonder why Philly is favored over the Giants?? Now, sure, I hate the Giants, but they're so frickin lucky, and they get all the bounces... I had actually decided I was done taking Philly in any more games against actual opponents, but, whoops!! I did it again...

Hey, Derrick Frost is "Safe For Now"... Uuugh. Pleeeeze. The more I think about it (and with the help of medication, I'm trying not to, believe me..), I'm utterly convinced that there HAS to be Punters out there. There's gotta be a guy who was cut late from a training camp somewhere. Gotta be. There's GOTTA be some college dude who went undrafted because he had a bad hammy or something, who is now healthy, sitting at home, waiting for the phone to ring.. Gotta be. There's gotta be a veteran somewhere, who got cut for a younger guy at the end of camp, who could at least put in a vaguely competent punting effort...

Huge game coming up Thursday... a Monster. Jets at New England. I might have to go to bed early, and get up and watch that... Too big to miss...

I got my XM in my truck hooked up... finally. Ended up having to park outside with the truck running and wait 15 minutes for a "system reset" from the satellite... But it worked. Last night on the way to work, I had my pick of the 49ers announders or the Cardinals announcers for the 4th quarter. Pretty sweet. The Cardinals announcers are just like Packer announcers from the early 90's... After 20 years of losing, losing, losing, they refuse to believe anything, they are fully prepared for the other team to kill them... When that final play was stuffed at the goal line to preserve the Cardinals win, It sounded like a rock band trashing a hotel room... a lot of screaming, hollering, mic's being bumped, stuff falling off tables... pretty crazy. Fun to listen to.

I actually woke up for a minute and watched the first quarter, too... Yeah, I know, crazy. Almost like I was actually a member of society...

I'm on Record right now: Kurt Warner for MVP. I love his quick release, I love how he gets rid of the ball QUICK (in stark contrast to TGAR), and I love his accuracy. TGAR oughta take a look at last night's game film.... Maybe Uncle Tedly could too, while he's at it... Although, if he's not looking at Punters right now in the Hutson Center, he should be escorted off the property by Security....

Seriously, the pass rush is killing TGAR. Memo to Coach McCarthy: When the pass rush is killing you did you ever thinking of running something quick, like a slant, or a dump to the flat, or a screen?? Take advantage of the overly eager pass rush??? That ever occur to you, coach??? Coach, has anyone told you that it's legal to throw a forward pass to a Tight End?? Do we even HAVE a tight end on our roster?? Just wondering out loud here....

Alright, good luck next week!!

Week 10!!

Wow... Badgergil, again?!?!?

4th weekly win. 4.... why is that number familiar??? Four... 4... (scratches head, pondering..)

Who's that guy the Jets have?? Ah yeah, Brett Favre, #4. Huge win. I wondered why his stats weren't better... heh heh, the game was such a joke, they lifted him in the second half.... and Fantasy Football Players slashed their wrists in horror...

You know what would really be cool?? If the Packers some day got an all-world QB like a Brett Favre.... That would be pretty cool... Sigh... maybe someday. For now, it seems we have TGAR...

We also have this Donkey...

This is Derrick Frost. He is the Worst Punter in the NFL... Say hello to Derrick, everyone. What a joke...

I was watching some College Football over the weekend, USC, Texas Tech, and a host of other college kids are better than this guy, by a huge margin.

Note to Ted "Beady Eyes" Thompson: call your office Ted. If you don't have 5 guys working out Monday to be the new punter, report to a mental health facility.... 'Nuff said.

Actually, I've never seen two coaches try so hard to get outcoached by the other, or try so hard to give the game away....


Here's Brad Childress.... He decides to punt late on 4th and one... Except Adrian Peterson starts bitching on the sidelines... So in a truly absurd move, Brad Challenges the Spot of the football?!?!? Huh?? They're a full yard short, it's painfully obvious. But no, while they're down, with time running out, he throws away a timeout on an absurd challenge, which of course, they lose.

INexplicably, he then decides to GO FOR IT on fourth down??? Keep in mind, the Minnesota D is destroying the Packers.... TGAR didn't look like he would survive the game, to be honest... And Adrain Peterson FUMBLES, and the Packers EXTEND their lead... great call, Brad. Wonderful.



This guy might look familiar.... The Vikings get the ball back, and after a few ugly picks, Frerotte clearly was not going to be allowed to throw the ball. Now, you would THINK a defense could function under those conditions, but yet, we still couldn't stop the run, or the real short pass...

Eventually, Peterson runs in for a TD... With 2 minutes to go, Pack is now behind... and Coach McCarthy decides to CHALLENGE the TD... uhh, idiot, even if you win the challenge, all that happens is they put the ball on the 6-inch line, and the Vikings then run MORE time off the clock while they punch it in anyways... duh, you haven't stopped the run all day. Yeeesh. If it's any consolation, he defended the decision in his post game presser.... Ugh..

Despite all that, we could have won the game....

Except Crosby missed the kick.... Whoops....

Ahh well.... What an absurd game.

Ahh, is Chad Clifton going to block anyone this year?? Just wondering out loud. Two safties... Ugh.



Just a reminder, this is what a REAL Head Coach looks like... and a real QB, for that matter... Rodgers and Frerrotte?? Not so much... Childress?? Nah. McCarthy? Ehh, not so sure...

That's okay, we have the slimy Bears next week... no problem!! Heh heh, maybe I've taken enough of the little white pills for awhile, eh??? Yeah, maybe...



Remember Ryan Leaf?? Yeah, he just resigned from West Texas A&M.... There's a painful memory for ya, his very brief stint with the Dallas Cowboys.... Actually, they were pleased with him as QB coach, their QB has set all kinds of school passing records this year....

Another dude who had the world by the ass, and threw it away... He maybe was hitting the little white pills a little too hard, also... I mean, what, the team trainers wouldn't give you a script if you asked for one??? Or, you asked for so many, they cut you off for awhile??? And in a football locker room, heh heh, how many is too many??? Egad, that's a LOT... And, by the way, who's the player that then goes and tattles on his coach??? That's like Dave Mustane getting kicked out of Metallica for doing "too many drugs"... Huh? Too many drugs for Metallica?? That's a lotta drugs, kids....

Anyway, should I just pencil in Badgergil on my sheet here, or is someone going to step up???

Week Nine wrap-up...

Alright, it's BADGERGIL!!!

His Third Weekly Win?!?!? Insane.

Just out of curiousity, when you sell your soul to the devil, does he take a piece of your soul each month, like a car payment, or does he take the whole thing right away???

Wow. Okay, just kidding. Seriously, great picking there...

(And while I grumble to myself in general discontentment, RONFIC sighs in relief that someone was worse than he was....)

Well, the season standings are taking shape... Leo Woods, Elusive, Sears, Gregslo... All past season's champs, all fixtures year in and year out in the season standings... So, I guess it IS POSSIBLE to pick these games...

Naaah, I'm joking. I won the season twice. I'm in a little cold streak. I'm gonna come back strong... you guys better check your mirrors, you're gonna see my Grille Badge coming fast...



Pittsburgh, pulling out the win... I swear, there's suspects being questioned in LA County who haven't taken the beating Roethlesberger has taken this year...

Wow. That was a cheap shot, right there. Okay, my apologies to the brave men and women who toil thanklessly in LA County Law Enforcement...

Ya know, it's election day!!! Wow, it just kind of snuck up on me, I didn't even realize. I'm gonna have to go on the web and try to find something out about these candidates.... Heh heh heh, obviously joking. Whew. Steve Czaban had an idea this morning, Just put a hard starting line of Jan 1, 2008, and go. If you say ONE WORD about running prior to Jan 1, pow, you're out. This 2.5 years of running, it's a little much.... Barack barely threw his blazer over the back of his Senate Chair, and he walked out and started running for Prez... it's a little much...

Well, tomorrow, one of two things is going to happen.

1. In television newsrooms, newspaper offices, editorial meetings rooms, and the like, people will be partying like there's no tomorrow, wearing lampshades, pouring champagne on each other, and drinking Grey Goose straight out of the bottle....

or

2. In television newsrooms, newspaper offices, editorial meetings rooms, and the like, cleaning crews will be called in to mop the blood off the floor and scrape people's brains off the walls and ceilings from the mass suicides....

Now, you know what I'm talking about, without me even saying it.... so could we finally put this absurd urban myth to bed about the "unbiased" media that's spoonfeeding opinions to the american public, masquerading as "balanced coverage"??? Really, even the blindest fans of a football team know when they're getting the calls, right?? Of course you do. The Packers were getting the calls in that Indy game. Even true Green and Gold believers will give you that with no argument.

That's my soapbox editorial for today. You get one vote. Use it.

And if you're really worried about it, go ahead and get a Springfield Armory XD-M .40, and a Bushmaster M4, and some gold coins, and some frozen pizzas, and some Campbell's soup, and rest easy!!! Heh heh heh... kidding. Seriously, we've survived assasination of a sitting president, we've survived impeachments, non-impeachments... we'll survive whatever we get tomorrow, I'm sure....



Better yet, take all that money and buy yourself a Cadillac, or a Harley Davidson Motorcycle.... it'll do wonders for your mental health. I'm speaking from experience here...

And as always, good luck next week, people!!

Week Nine!!!

Wow, week 9... INsane.

Tonight's game will definitely have some meaning.... I was working last night, so forgive me, I'm having trouble pulling together all the possible ramifications... but I think with a Washington Win, we're gonna have some ties.... And I think with a Pittsburgh win, we're gonna have a winner, Badgergil. I think.

Anyway, good luck fellas.

I obviously stunk....

I'm in shock, really, I was trying to puzzle out all week Why the Indy Colts were even favored.... they're way down below New England in Power Rankings, They just got smacked by a vaguely mediocre Packer Team, and smacked again by a fundamentally sound Titans team... I'm the only one who thought New England might win?? And if it isn't for a stupid penalty, and a late field goal, and a dropped INT, New England Takes care of the Colts no problem....

Yeah, you're laughing at me, in the cellar, but if the Patriots win, which they easily could have, I crush everyone except Erin07 for the week....

Put that on the list of things I wonder about... it's not really a list, it's a whole file cabinet, at this point.... (reaches for another handful of tylenol)

Well, let's get started:



Jack Del Rio, you're dead to me. I keep believing in your Jacksonville Squad, I keep picking you.... and you KEEP LOSING!!! Dude, seriously, I love the shades, but your team stinks.

I'm NEVER PICKING YOU AGAIN!!!

Whasssthat?? They're playing Detroit next week??? Ugh... I feel sick. (Lights another Marlboro...) See the problem with this "I'm never picking you again" thing?? It leads you to picking Detroit... Ohhh, my head...


Moving right along.... Take a good look, kids. That's a Dead Man Coaching, right there.... What an implosion. I saw a lotta that game, and I wish I hadn't. Ugly.

Will someone please step up and expose the fraud that is the New York Football Giants?? Someone?? Bueller? Anyone??


The Arizona Cardinals won a road game!!! Egad... NO, they did, seriously. Kurt Warner, another 300+ yard passing game. Has anyone ever been the #2 passer in the NFL more quietly than Warner?? Has anyone ever had such a nice season, and gone so completely overlooked?? It's almost scary...


Brett Favre got another win.... And TGAR (The Great Aaron Rodgers) did not... Rodgers did get a new contract though... His shoulder must have been sore from carrying his checkbook... Hanging around the Lamborghini Dealership wore him out, I guess... One hopping the ball to wideouts?? Hitting Donald Driver in the foot with a pass?? Huh?? I'll say it one more time, in case my record on this is unclear: there's going to be a picture of Aaron Rodgers on Ted Thompson's professional tombstone... He has literally (and in every sense of the word) bet EVERYTHING on this guy...

Anyways, the sun is out, but to Packer Nation, a darkness has just descended, like the angry hordes that surrounded Helm's Deep in that "Lord of the Rings" movie... Why? Because the stupid, stinking, pathetic Chicago Bears have taken control of the NFC North, that's why... Ugh. This is going to be a Vicodin and Grey Goose kind of day, I can tell already...