Well, since we have a couple of weeks here, we may as well have some fun.
Thus, I will now lay out my own Ultimate Pitching Staff of Women.
This concept basically goes as such: you take the cutest girls in the world, pick the best ones, in the mold of a major league pitching staff. You have starting pitchers, you have a bullpen, you have a closer.
The origins of this concept are sketchy. I thought a buddy of mine came up with this, and never heard of it outside that "circle". Others have told me this was on a "Friends" Episode... Others have said radio DeeJays came up with it... Whatever. Also, if you're not a big baseball fan, and don't grasp the particulars of a pitching staff, don't worry, this is just for fun.
Also, we are setting aside the tricky questions of "in her prime", and things of that nature. I mean, Sharon Stone, in her prime, is a starting pitcher. Today?? Ehhh, probably not. We're just saying, today, or near today. Recent work.
Also, with apologies to Jake, Dalton, and the other young bucks who read this... There will be pictures, but this is not bikinis and whipped cream and other nonsense. This will be safe for work. And it probably skews too old for you guys anyway, so.... Full disclosure, I am between 43 and 49, how about that for a range...
Now then, here we go!
The Ultimate Pitching Staff
#1 Starter: Marissa Miller
If I needed to win game 6 of the World Series, my ultimate starting pitcher, she is it.
Here she is in a True Religion Jeans ad... Yow, I think I'd like a pair of those...
#2 Starter: Kate Beckinsale
She's probably a #1 on many staffs, but we're talking about a dream team here, so, sadly, Ms. Beckinsale will be our #2 starter. Who can forget her from "Underworld" or "Serendipity". Serendipity, by the way, should be seen for Kate Beckinsale alone, but also, it is a good movie, and funny...
Uhh, can I get a sip of that Diet Coke??? Thanks!
And who can forget Selene from "Underworld"??? Nobody...
#3 Starter: Uma Thurman
Again, an awfully strong pitcher, could be a #1 anywhere else... Except here. A classic beauty no doubt...
And who can forget her from "Kill Bill"??? Nobody...
#4 Starter: Charlize Theron
Yes, the Pride of South Africa has to be a starter on my staff here...
"The Italian Job", a fun movie that should be seen....
#5 Starter: Megan Fox
Real tough choice. Suffice it to say, someone from the bullpen could take her spot at any moment, but for now, we'll go with her. Rumors are that Michael Bay is trying desperately to cast someone else for "Transformers 3", so, you'll have to catch her work in the first 2 movies on Blu-Ray from here on out...
Who can forget this scene from the first "Transformers" Movie?? NObody...
On to the bullpen. First, a couple of Specialists.
8th Inning Setup / Short Relief: Ali Larter
If you don't watch "Heroes", you've never seen her, you have no clue who she is. Very very underrated. Needs to get 1 big breakout movie role to be the next Sharon Stone. She did have a supporting role in "Resident Evil: Extinction", you may have seen her there....
9th Inning Closer: Maria Sharapova
Professional Tennis Player "slash" modeling sensation, she has actually won a few tennis tourneys, and is awfully good looking...
Bullpen (in no particular order)
Shana Hiatt: Shana Hiatt used to host the "World Poker Tour". Besides being great looking, she knew something about cards, had a repor with the players, and did a nice job during interviews of asking the right question at the right time. Since she left, they've plowed through a dozen replacements, each more amazingly lame than the last.... They oughta call her back tomorrow, and give her whatever she wants...
Milla Jovovich: You either like her or you don't. I like. You gotta love her in the "Resident Evil" series of movies. Also was in a wacky sci-fi space opera called "The Fifth Element" with Bruce Willis and Gary Oldman. I was teetering on giving her the 5th starter spot....
Ashley Judd: Besides being a University of Kentucky sports fan, you never see her anymore, which is a real shame. She was in "Heat", one of the greatest movies ever made... she was in a detective thing with Morgan Freeman, called "Kiss The Girls", great movie... She's married to Indy 500 winning driver Dario Franchitti... And I am told she is in the new Duane Johnson (AKA The Rock) movie "Tooth Fairy".... Probably should be the 5th Starter...
Alyson Hannigan Possibly a reach, but she's cute in her own way...
Stana Katic If you're not watching "Castle", you should be... Great show. Besides the fact that Detective Beckett is on the show, it's a fun show. The more I see her, the more I like her...
Jennifer Garner I couldn't leave her off. I couldn't do it. If you haven't seen "The Kingdom", you should, there's a wonderful running gun battle on the freeway that is a must see.
I seem to be out of spots on my roster.... Which is quite amazing. Let's look at a couple of fine pitchers who ended up staying in the minors after spring training... I just don't have enough roster spots....
Courteney Cox How is Courteney Cox not on the roster??? I don't know, It's crazy. She likes motorcycles, and puppies, and she's cute. I'm shaking my head in disbelief right now....
I honestly dug this up from an old motorcycle magazine, from one of their "Celebrities and Motorcycles" issues. This is seriously the young Courteney Cox, on her own motorcycle that she rode regularly... I can hear you now, you're saying "Get the Eff outta here!!" I will not get the Eff outta here, this is MY blog, and I'm telling you, that's Courteney Cox...
Natasha Henstridge Seriously, how can she NOT be on the roster. Go rent "Species", and then tell me "No, she's not on the roster." Absurd. Who made this list, anyways??? I gotta talk to that guy....
Jessica Alba She has to be on the list, right???
Anyways, enjoy. There's more that didn't make the cut either, but the arguing about the list is half the fun, so send those emails!!! The Favre hating emails are bound to slow down, so, I'll need something else to fill my inbox....
Later.
