Playoffs week 2: Elite Operators

Hey, welcome back!!!

Okay, first things first, last week's picks:

Cowboys -4 WIN
Patriots -3 Lose
Patriots/Ravens OVER 43 WIN
Cardinals -1 WIN
Cardinals/Packers OVER 47 WIN

Not bad, 4-1. Always nice to get off to a hot start. Always nice.

I mean, errr, if gambling were LEGAL in this country, and if it was LEGAL to have an offshore sports betting account, you know, ahem, if I had really bet those games, it would be nice to get off to a hot start....

I started to get nervous about my Arizona pick Friday, when Bill Simmons wrote in his column that the two games that are destined to occur are "Colts-Patriots: 4th and Another Two" and "Favre-Packers: Apocalypse Now".

And in my gut, I felt that those games really were destined to happen.

I even went so far as to realize Sunday morning that, with the Cowboys complete dismantle-ation of the Eagles, Favre-Packers would be FOR THE NFC CHAMPIONSHIP...

How could you cap the whole Favre-Packers thing better than that?? How could you?? The Packers, going to the Minnysoda Metrodome, to face the evil Judas one more time... insane (I'm borrowing the "Judas" from the pallet of Favre Hating Nation emails I have sitting here...) Insane. Stakes higher than imagineable. Literally, the loser of that game, it's over. Can you see Brad Childress calling in an air strike on the Metrodome?? Sure. Could you see Tedly Thompson going off the "Colonel Kurtz" edge, and hiding in the jungle surrounded by freaky natives?? Sure. Better yet, does Tedly call in Blackwater Security and fill the Lambeau Field parking lot with blacked-out GMC Yukons, and hard ass "operators" strolling the grounds with their earpieces, and A4's??? I can see it. They needed Ari Fleischer to handle PR after Favre, why not call Blackwater??? Angry fans, storming down the street from the Stadium View Bar towards Lambeau Field... only to be repelled by shock troops.... Can you see Ted Thompson, barricaded in his office, like Roger Van Zandt in "Heat", reeking of BO, afraid to step outside for fear Robert DeNiro will put a bullet in him?? I can see it!! Ahhh, hahaha, I CAN SEE IT HAPPENING!!!!

Taking a deep Breath... Letting it out.... Breathe.... and, I'm fine now..

Or not. Heh Heh. Well, those games are not gonna happen. Which leaves a slightly empty feeling, somehow.

However, on a related note, I heard the very excellent Michael Lombardi of nationalfootballpost.com on a podcast, and he was saying this might be a GOOD thing for the Patriots and Packers, because if we go into an uncapped year next year, which he thinks we will, there's some kind of restrictions on the top 8 teams from last year (this year) that limits their signing of free agents. Thus, the Packers, Patriots, Bengals, and Eagles just squirmed out of that. Which could be huge. If the Packers had a GM, that is...

Anyways, that Packer Cardinal thing was crazy. What a wild game. Wild. Postmortem: we weren't going to the Super Bowl anyway. We need offensive line help BADLY. We need a running back in the worst way. And it's time to blow up our special teams and start over. However, having said that, I think we might be a couple players away. So, if Tedly again won't sign any free agents, then, I think we need to get in our bunkers, cradle our assault weapons, and wait for a new GM...

And again, kicking (namely, bad kicking) played a huge role. Rackers, brutal miss. I jokingly commented that "he could miss this", never thinking he actually would.... whoops!! Then, in overtime, I'm thinking "Pleeeze, please don't let this come down to a Mason Crosby missed chip shot, please...." Whoops. My prayers were answered. Ahh, can I rephrase?? What I MEANT was, let's just go get a touchdown...

Actually, I love both the Cardinals and Packers, which is no secret to regular readers, so, in a way, I couldn't lose on this one. Which was kind of surreal...

Anyway, I did like how the Packers played. The Patriots utterly layed down. The Packers at least battled, and put up a heavyweight fight effort. I'm shocked Arizona didn't see the onside kick coming... and they had their chances. Rodgers could have hit the deep one in overtime, that's Johnny Ballgame, kids.... and that's a throw he generally makes look easy. I'm still shocked he missed that throw. Nevertheless, I remain on the Rodgers bandwagon. He is more than good enough to win with.

And in a way, that would have been a typical Warner loss, had the Packers won it in overtime. Warner would have been standing on the sidelines, 29 of 33, 379 yards, 5 TD's, no picks, and going home the loser.

How about dem Cowboys!!!! Absolutely true story, I have witnesses, I will provide signed affidavits: When I saw Donavon McNabb coming thru the stadium tunnel, prior to the game, playing the Air Guitar, clowning with fans, I announced to the room "This Game is Over." I didn't like where his head was at AT ALL. Which, as a Cowboys fan, translating, that means "I Effing Loved It!!!". And after Vick threw the TD pass in the first half, (while McNabb's stats to that point were sewer-worthy) the camera showed McNabb for a second, and his face was priceless. It was his vintage "Okay, you slobs think you can win without me??? Okay, let's see how that goes for the rest of this game..." Philly fans have put three large steak knives on their kitchen table, and are deciding which one to slash their wrists with.... Is there another team out there that reels in their fans, gives them hope, gives them a little more hope, builds them up, and then crushes their skulls against a brick wall better than the Eagles??? I can't think of one...

How about the QB's that are remaining in these playoffs. Unreal. Roll call. Favre. Manning (the good one). Brees. Rivers. Warner. Sanchez (The San-chise). Romo. Flacco.

Breaking it down, we have 3 Hall of Fame locks: Manning, Favre, Warner.

Two Hall of Fame probables: Brees and Rivers. (if I put Romo on this list, my email-server will crash again from hate mail, and it's probably a little too soon to tell, but, barring disaster, he could do it.)

I personally feel Romo is very special, is still improving, is playing great right now, and in some ways, he has the Cowboys playing their best football of the year right now. Sanchez impressed me. He might be something special. And Flacco, while the worst on this list by far, has at an early stage of his career shown himself to be a competent starter.

Anyways, should we move on to this weeks games??? Yeah, probably.

Saturday, Jan 16th, 2010

4:30 Eastern, Arizona Cardinals AT New Orleans Saints (-7) : Intriguing matchup. Every degenerate gambler knows that the teams with a bye have a gaudy record of big wins in this round of the playoffs. And, in the error of recentcy, we're more impressed with the shazaam of the teams we saw last week. The rested Saints. The explosive Cardinals. I say, take the Cards and the points. I love the Cards on offense. I see another shootout. The over-under is 57 though... Vegas seems determined to set this one high enough... I still like the over, but I'm not releasing that as an official pick. If you like it, go ahead, you have my blessing. That's a huge over-under number, though... Consider yourself warned.

8:15 Eastern, Baltimore Ravens AT Indianapolis Colts (-6.5): I'd love to love the Colts here. I'm not sure I'm totally comfortable, but I think you have to go Colts. Sure, we were all impressed with the Ravens last week, and they blew out the vaunted New England Patriots, but this is Peyton Manning. Brady clearly is not right, he's not healthy, he didn't look good. It's a little too easy to say "Ooooh, that Ravens Defense..." Yeah, whatever. After this game, we'll all be saying "Wow, that Peyton Manning, he's pretty good..." Over and Under is 44. I love overs, especially in playoff games. Sure, take the over.

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

1:00 Eastern. Dallas Cowboys AT Minnesota Vikings (-2.5): Well, in another case of Favre hating making strange bedfellows, I have lifelong Packer fans asking me, "Hey, can the Cowboys really beat the Vikings??? Reeeeaaallleeee?? Pleeeze say yes..." To which I say, yeah, they can. When you see DeMarcus Ware rush the passer, as a Favre hater, you're gonna love it. Okay, this game makes me a little nervous. Favre is dangerous. The Vikings, much in the mold of the Cowboys, have big beefy people on their O and D lines.

This is a tough one for me. Apology to Favre Hating Nation: I can't work up the hate for the guy. I'm sorry. I can't do it. The One Shining Moment of My Lifetime, as a Packer Fan, is Brett Favre winning the Super Bowl for us. I can't hate. I can't. So he wanted to win another Super Bowl. Is that so wrong?? Really?? Okay, was he a jerk during the process? Sure. Was Tedly a jerk? Absolutely. So, it is what it is. It wouldn't bother me at all if he won another one, with the Vikings. I'm sorry.

I am now bracing myself to receive the hate e-mails from Favre Hating Nation... Taking a deep breath.... and, okay, I'm ready.

Deliberating about this game.... DeMarcus Ware. Felix Jones. Tony Romo. Brett Favre. Adrian Peterson. Kevin Williams. Marion Barber. Miles Austin. Percy Harvin.... Processing....

I have to take the Cowboys. I just have to. The Cowboys, and points, I cannot resist. I can't. They beat the Saints... This game is basically a trip to the Super Bowl. Do I dare to dream the impossible dream, Cowboys winning the Super Bowl??

Waitaminute, if the pathetic Giants could beat the Patriots, back when they really were the VAUNTED Patriots, anything could happen....

Actually, another factor could be the "dirty little secret" in Minnysoda, and that is that some of these playoff games haven't sold out in the past. There could be a noisy contingent of Cowboys fans in the Metrodome. I dunno, I'm just saying. That Eagles playoff game a year or two ago, that was like half Eagles fans, or so I'm told... also, another "source" tells me that something close to half of the Vikings season ticket holders DECLINED their option on playoff tickets... Could be BS, but I wonder...

Over-Under of 45.5, I'm taking the over. This is a solid over-style game.

4:40 Eastern, New York Jets AT San Diego Chargers (-7): I'm not gonna go crazy on this one, I'm going Chargers. Don't overthink it. Look, with the Patriots out, we're headed for a Chargers-Colts Armageddon style clash for AFC supremacy. And it should be a great one. The San-chize goes down this week. It's okay, he's just a rookie. He's just a pup!!! He'll be okay.

Over-Under of 42, again, I like the over. San Diego can score. I think Rivers shines in front of a psyched home crowd.

So, here's your slate:

Cards +7
Colts -6.5
Ravens Colts OVER 44
Cowboys +2.5
Vikings Cowboys OVER 45.5
Chargers -7
Jets Chargers OVER 42

Last week: 4-1
Postseason Total: 4-1

Enjoy!!!