Hey!
Yeah, I'm still alive. Barely. Winter is sooo much fun. Why did I leave Florida??? Why did I leave Florida...
(trying to think of a reason....)
(still trying....)
Nevermind, let's just move on.
Week 14, Smitty201 crosses the goal line with the football!!!! Nice. Congrats on that. Smitty201 has been picking well all year, actually.
Week 15, The Big Headed Holy Rollers score their second win of the season! Nice. Congrats on that too, fellas.
Two weeks to go.
After two weeks, Erin07 was in 7th place for the season. He's in 7th place now. I must throw in an honorable mention though, he has picked 145 games correctly. More than anyone else in this pool.
I'm still in last, but I am within a couple points of Bulldogs Rule and Badgergil, and Sharpcheddar is in my sights... And yet, Badgergil has won 2 weeks, and Sharpcheddar 3. Hmmm. I'm just saying, don't pretend you don't see me closing the gap back here... I might end the season above last place.
Is it just me, or do these lines make no sense. Seriously, Detroit at Miami, Miami -3.5. Really. Hmmm, let's see, Detroit just went to Tampa and beat them, and Tampa is better than Miami. Also, Miami is 1-6 at home, and with this upcoming loss, they could finish their home schedule at 1-7. Really.
Then we move on to San Fran at St Louis. St Louis by 2.5 Insane. Why why why oh why do these 49ers get any respect at all from Vegas bookmakers??? Doesn't this line have to be St Louis by 5??? Really, this NFC West is just brutal. Maybe we need a rule that if you're not 8-8 or better, you don't go to the playoffs, no matter what. Scratch that division winner, and insert another wild card team.
San Diego by 7.5 over Cincy. Shouldn't that be San Diego by 21??? Is anyone out there still betting on Cincinnatti?? Really?? Why??
These games are brutal. Houston at Denver. Houston giving 2.5 points, on the road. Houston has no defense at all. Maybe Tim Tebow will go crazy all over that defense. Tebow isn't the next Phillip Rivers, but from what I've seen on YouTube, he's gonna be a decent backup / spot starter / wildcat guy / gadget QB for the next 14 years. He was okay. He'll be fine. Is he number one pick fine?? Ehhh, probably not. Would Denver fans like to crawl into a Hot Tub Time Machine and get a "do-over" on the last two years??? Ehhh, probably.
I'm slightly curious... Is Favre Hating Nation satisfied yet?? Your Boy, number 4, has been beaten down almost as bad as a dude can be beaten down. I guess he doesn't have a compound fracture in the Tibia yet, or a depressed skull fracture... He doesn't have a horrific Joe Thiesman style broken leg.... But he's been hit about as hard as a guy can be hit on a football field. You guys satisfied, or do you need to see more?? Just curious...
When are the tough questions going to start being asked about Mike McCarthy?? This is the end of year 5. No questions yet?
Mike Sherman's 1st 5 years: 53 and 27. 3 NFC North Titles. 2-4 in Postseason.
Mike McCarthy's 1st 5 years: 46 and 32. 1 NFC North Title. 1-2 in Postseason.
There seemed to be a feeling that Sherman wasn't getting it done. Do we feel that McCarthy is??
Really??
From my research staff, I find out that Mike Sherman is now in his 3rd year as the Head Coach at Texas A&M. After 2 losing seasons, He won himself a Big 12 South Title, and will face LSU in The AT&T Cotton Bowl, played in Cowboys Stadium, Arlington Texas, January 7th, 7PM, on Fox. It'd be fun to see Mike Sherman show Les Miles how it's done.
Nice to have a personal assistant and a staff to look this stuff up. I had no idea. If I had known, I might have took vacation to go to Cowboys Stadium...
Too late now. I guess I'll just have to suck it up and watch it on my 60 inch LCD... sigh.
Whoops, UConn just won their 89th straight game. Unreal. Tip of the Cap to Gino.
Anyways, don't you love those "holiday" letters you get, where people tell you how overly amazing their family is??? This one came in the mail the other day:
Dear Friends,
What a lucky break the CEO sent his personal jet to pick me up from Istanbul; there's plenty of room, since I have the entire aircraft to myself, to take out the laptop and write our annual holiday letter. Just let me ask the attendant for a better vintage of champagne, and I'll begin.
It's been another utterly hectic year for Chad and I and our remarkable children, yet nurturing and horizon-expanding. It's hard to know where the time goes. Well, a lot of it is spent in the car.
Rachel is in her senior year at Pinnacle-Upon-Hilltop Academy, and it seems just yesterday she was being pushed around in the stroller by our British nanny. Rachel placed first this fall in the state operatic arias competition. Chad was skeptical when I proposed hiring a live-in voice tutor on leave from the Lyric Opera, but it sure paid off! Rachel's girls' volleyball team lost in the semifinals owing to totally unfair officiating, but as I have told her, she must learn to overcome incredible hardship in life.
Now the Big Decision looms -- whether to take the early admission offer from Harvard or spend a year at Juilliard. Plus the whole back of her Mercedes is full of dance-company brochures as she tries to decide about the summer.
Nicholas is his same old self, juggling the karate lessons plus basketball, soccer, French horn, debate club, archaeology field trips, poetry-writing classes and his volunteer work. He just got the Yondan belt, which usually requires nine years of training after the Shodan belt, but prodigies can do it faster, especially if (not that I really believe this!) they are reincarnated deities.
Modeling for Gap cuts into Nick's schoolwork, but how could I deprive others of the chance to see him? His summer with Outward Bound in the Andes was a big thrill, especially when all the expert guides became disoriented and he had to lead the party out. But you probably read about that in the newspapers.
What can I say regarding our Emily? She's just been reclassified as EVVSUG&T -- "Extremely Very Very Super Ultra Gifted and Talented." The preschool retained a full-time teacher solely for her, to keep her challenged. Educational institutions are not allowed to discriminate against the gifted anymore, not like when I was young.
Yesterday Rachel sold her first still-life. It was shown at one of the leading galleries without the age of the artist disclosed. The buyers were thrilled when they learned!
Then there was the arrival of our purebred owczarek nizinny puppy. He's the little furry guy in the enclosed family holiday portrait by Annie Leibovitz. Because our family mission statement lists cultural diversity as a core value, we named him Mandela.
Chad continues to prosper and blossom. He works a few hours a day and spends the rest of the time supervising restoration of the house -- National Trust for Historic Preservation rules are quite strict. Corporate denial consulting is a perfect career niche for Chad. Fortune 500 companies call him all the time. There's a lot to deny, and Chad is good at it.
Me? Oh, I do this and that. I feel myself growing and flowering as a change agent. I yearn to empower the stakeholders. This year, I was promoted to COO and invited to the White House twice, but honestly, beading in the evening means just as much to me. I was sorry I had to let Carmen go on the same day I brought home my $14.6 million bonus, but she had broken a Flora Danica platter and I caught her making a personal call.
Chad and I got away for a week for a celebration of my promotion. We rented this quaint five-star villa on the Corsican coast. Just to ourselves -- we bought out all 40 rooms so it would be quiet and contemplative and we could ponder rising above materialism.
Our family looks to the New Year for rejuvenation and enrichment. Chad and I will be taking the children to Steamboat Springs over spring break, then in June I take the girls to Paris, Rome and Seville while Chad and Nicholas accompany Richard Gere to Tibet.
Then the kids are off to camps in Maine, and before we know it, we will be packing two cars to drive Rachel's things to college. And of course I don't count Davos or Sundance or all the routine excursions.
I hope your year has been as interesting as ours.
Love,
Jennifer, Chad, Rachel, Nicholas & Emily
Heh heh, okay, I got that from a Gregg Easterbrook column... Pretty funny though.
Anyways, Merry Christmas!! I sincerely hope everyone has a great, fun, and safe Holiday!!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Lucky 14
Well, week 13 is complete. Air Myles, with a real nice effort there. I thought I might have a chance. Sitting in a bar watching, I seemed to be doing well. My best finish of the year.
As I sit firmly in dead last for the season, I had to look back and remind myself that I did in fact win the season last year. Hmmm. Work is clearly driving me nuts, and I clearly don't have enough brain power left to make picks.
Anyway, do you want Season Tickets for The Packers next year?? Heh heh! Good luck!
No, seriously, check this out:
Yep. You could win a season's worth of Club Seats, which are indoors, which also means you could actually USE them. So, good luck with that, lottery gamblers!
Anyways, I have my 16 point pick in the jar once again. Along with VBS and Erin07, to be fair. We'll see if that leads to a victory.
I see Michael Wilbon is writing a column again. You probably know him from being a host on "Pardon The Interruption" with Korny Toneheiser. Or is it Tony Kornheiser?? Hard to keep track. Anyway, I like Wilbon, he's fine, but sometimes, these basketball people come out with an NFL opinion that just makes you say Huh???
Seriously, he states in his first article: "Peyton Manning is not the greatest QB to ever play... John Elway is."
Huh?? Whaaa??? Uhh, neither of those guys is even in the discussion. Sorry. My personal all-time QB List:
#1. Joe Montana. The greatest. Period. He worked a football field like the great masters worked in oils, or clay. Or like Robert Ludlum and James Michener worked a typewriter. 4 Super Bowls. 4 and 0. I still have the Sports Illustrated in my vault (okay, it's a box), it says "Joe Knows Super Bowls", it's a picture of Montana high fiving Guy McIntyre, one of his O-linemen.
Now there's really a gap, but I guess we need more on the list.
#2. Terry Bradshaw. In some ways, he suffers from Troy Aikman Syndrome, in that he played on deep good teams, and the winning might not have been all about him. But as a Cowboys fan, I never wanted to face Bradshaw. Never. He made plays when it mattered and he won big games.
#3. Troy Aikman. Loved the guy. He could make every throw, had a big arm, and was a great game manager. Was never a stats whore, and I think with the rise of Fantasy Football, he was never a great "fantasy" player, but he won big games, and came up big when it mattered.
#4. Steve Young. Really an amazing player. You never wanted to face him either. Played in Mighty Joe Montana's shadow, and the 49ers seemed awfully eager to begin the Steve Young Era. Which annoyed me for a few years, but in retrospect, he was really good, a dangerous player who could run and throw. Left Handed, hard to defend.
#5. Brett Favre. Yeah, his recent shenanigans have tarnished his legacy, to be sure. And this is from me, not a Favre hater. But really, in his prime, he was something else.
#6. Tom Brady. Was 17-0, and should have won that Super Bowl. If some idiot Giants player doesn't catch a miracle throw on the side of his helmet, Brady has authored the 18-0 season, has 4 Super Bowls, and goes to #2 on the list. If he wins the Super Bowl this year, he goes to number 2 on the list. We are watching history.
Honorable mentions: Ken Stabler, Jim Plunkett, Roger Staubach, Jim Kelly, Dan Fouts, Dan Marino, Kurt Warner. You never left the room when these guys were on offense.
Honorable mentions (playing right now): Drew Brees, Phillip Rivers. These guys are probably hall of famers, assuming their careers continue without serious injuries or other problems.
Anyway, Urban Meier retired again. Relax, he'll be back next week. Is this some Favrian thing sweeping the sports world, this continually retiring??
Bill Simmons intimated in a podcast this week that "The blood of the Cardinals 2010 season is all over Kurt Warner."
Really? No, not really. Warner actually knows what the word "retire" means. Their O-line wasn't very good, they were making no moves to improve it, he took some huge shots late in 2009, probably played with a concussion... And decided to hang it up. So be it. Let's remember, he had to basically blackmail the Cardinals to give him a contract after 08... So now he's gone, and it's all his fault that they stink on ice?? It's his fault The Great Matt Leinart couldn't play, or wasn't given a chance?? Ahhh, put me down for "No, not his fault."
Okay, from The Vault. For you young people, the Greatest QB Ever to lace 'em up and play. I give you Joe Montana:
Alright, good luck this week. The final 4 games. This. Is. it.
As I sit firmly in dead last for the season, I had to look back and remind myself that I did in fact win the season last year. Hmmm. Work is clearly driving me nuts, and I clearly don't have enough brain power left to make picks.
Anyway, do you want Season Tickets for The Packers next year?? Heh heh! Good luck!
No, seriously, check this out:
Yep. You could win a season's worth of Club Seats, which are indoors, which also means you could actually USE them. So, good luck with that, lottery gamblers!
Anyways, I have my 16 point pick in the jar once again. Along with VBS and Erin07, to be fair. We'll see if that leads to a victory.
I see Michael Wilbon is writing a column again. You probably know him from being a host on "Pardon The Interruption" with Korny Toneheiser. Or is it Tony Kornheiser?? Hard to keep track. Anyway, I like Wilbon, he's fine, but sometimes, these basketball people come out with an NFL opinion that just makes you say Huh???
Seriously, he states in his first article: "Peyton Manning is not the greatest QB to ever play... John Elway is."
Huh?? Whaaa??? Uhh, neither of those guys is even in the discussion. Sorry. My personal all-time QB List:
#1. Joe Montana. The greatest. Period. He worked a football field like the great masters worked in oils, or clay. Or like Robert Ludlum and James Michener worked a typewriter. 4 Super Bowls. 4 and 0. I still have the Sports Illustrated in my vault (okay, it's a box), it says "Joe Knows Super Bowls", it's a picture of Montana high fiving Guy McIntyre, one of his O-linemen.
Now there's really a gap, but I guess we need more on the list.
#2. Terry Bradshaw. In some ways, he suffers from Troy Aikman Syndrome, in that he played on deep good teams, and the winning might not have been all about him. But as a Cowboys fan, I never wanted to face Bradshaw. Never. He made plays when it mattered and he won big games.
#3. Troy Aikman. Loved the guy. He could make every throw, had a big arm, and was a great game manager. Was never a stats whore, and I think with the rise of Fantasy Football, he was never a great "fantasy" player, but he won big games, and came up big when it mattered.
#4. Steve Young. Really an amazing player. You never wanted to face him either. Played in Mighty Joe Montana's shadow, and the 49ers seemed awfully eager to begin the Steve Young Era. Which annoyed me for a few years, but in retrospect, he was really good, a dangerous player who could run and throw. Left Handed, hard to defend.
#5. Brett Favre. Yeah, his recent shenanigans have tarnished his legacy, to be sure. And this is from me, not a Favre hater. But really, in his prime, he was something else.
#6. Tom Brady. Was 17-0, and should have won that Super Bowl. If some idiot Giants player doesn't catch a miracle throw on the side of his helmet, Brady has authored the 18-0 season, has 4 Super Bowls, and goes to #2 on the list. If he wins the Super Bowl this year, he goes to number 2 on the list. We are watching history.
Honorable mentions: Ken Stabler, Jim Plunkett, Roger Staubach, Jim Kelly, Dan Fouts, Dan Marino, Kurt Warner. You never left the room when these guys were on offense.
Honorable mentions (playing right now): Drew Brees, Phillip Rivers. These guys are probably hall of famers, assuming their careers continue without serious injuries or other problems.
Anyway, Urban Meier retired again. Relax, he'll be back next week. Is this some Favrian thing sweeping the sports world, this continually retiring??
Bill Simmons intimated in a podcast this week that "The blood of the Cardinals 2010 season is all over Kurt Warner."
Really? No, not really. Warner actually knows what the word "retire" means. Their O-line wasn't very good, they were making no moves to improve it, he took some huge shots late in 2009, probably played with a concussion... And decided to hang it up. So be it. Let's remember, he had to basically blackmail the Cardinals to give him a contract after 08... So now he's gone, and it's all his fault that they stink on ice?? It's his fault The Great Matt Leinart couldn't play, or wasn't given a chance?? Ahhh, put me down for "No, not his fault."
Okay, from The Vault. For you young people, the Greatest QB Ever to lace 'em up and play. I give you Joe Montana:
Alright, good luck this week. The final 4 games. This. Is. it.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Week 12. Complete.
Well, Elusive has achieved total domination. The week is over. Nice job man. Nice.
It looks like Roy Williams didn't really cost me the week. Even if the Cowboys win, I still can't beat Elusive. Oh well.
Nobody thought the Chargers could beat the Colts?? I mean, besides me?? Huh.
Never saw the Eagles game coming either.... Unbelievable.
Whoops, dude is here to work on the cable. Gotta go.
It looks like Roy Williams didn't really cost me the week. Even if the Cowboys win, I still can't beat Elusive. Oh well.
Nobody thought the Chargers could beat the Colts?? I mean, besides me?? Huh.
Never saw the Eagles game coming either.... Unbelievable.
Whoops, dude is here to work on the cable. Gotta go.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Symphony of Destruction
Well well well....
I see Elusive and Sharpcheddar had the same idea I did....
(If you're not paying attention, that idea was to go 16, 15, 14 with the first three games on Thursday)
And while you bask in the glow of sitting atop the pool, surely you realize that Dallas had that game put away.
Stupid Roy Williams. Un. Believable. When will that guy stop being a donkey!!?!?! When?!?!?! Never, I guess. 7th Overall Pick in the 2004 draft. Unreal. It's probably good that a couple days have passed here... My girlfriend thinks Roy Williams middle name is "f***ing" after Thursday's complete and utter debacle.
So, you're sitting in my spot atop the pool... Just so you know. And, don't lie to me and tell me you weren't sh***ing a brick during the 4th quarter....
So, good luck fellas.
I may actually have brain damage. Not only are my picks stinking, but I left the house to go to Florida without my bag of toiletries... So, no contact lens stuff, no pills, no nothing. I mean, really, I can't leave without that bag. That's the one thing I desperate cannot live without. Speaking of unreal.
Well, what else. Obviously, Childress got fired. Home for the holidays, with all that cash. Being paid the same, either way. I need a deal like that. 11 months ago, they gave him a monster extension. So what, he forgot how to coach in 11 months??
Ehhh, that was a mercy firing, just like the Wade Phillips firing. I actually felt bad for Wade at the end... that was getting ugly. And the Childress deal had obviously degenerated into nothingness.
In a way, Favre got Mike Sherman fired, to an extent. He kinda got Eric Mangini fired in New York. And now Chilly is gone. But, to be fair, Favre also got Chilly about 18 million dollars. So, you live with the Favre, you die with the Favre.
Well, today's Packers Falcons tilt should be a good one. I'm actually kinda looking forward to this one.
As you can also see clearly from my picks, I am D U N Done with the San Francisco 49ers. How can they be favored on the road over anybody right now??? What is Vegas thinking with that line???
Alright, have fun!
I see Elusive and Sharpcheddar had the same idea I did....
(If you're not paying attention, that idea was to go 16, 15, 14 with the first three games on Thursday)
And while you bask in the glow of sitting atop the pool, surely you realize that Dallas had that game put away.
Stupid Roy Williams. Un. Believable. When will that guy stop being a donkey!!?!?! When?!?!?! Never, I guess. 7th Overall Pick in the 2004 draft. Unreal. It's probably good that a couple days have passed here... My girlfriend thinks Roy Williams middle name is "f***ing" after Thursday's complete and utter debacle.
So, you're sitting in my spot atop the pool... Just so you know. And, don't lie to me and tell me you weren't sh***ing a brick during the 4th quarter....
So, good luck fellas.
I may actually have brain damage. Not only are my picks stinking, but I left the house to go to Florida without my bag of toiletries... So, no contact lens stuff, no pills, no nothing. I mean, really, I can't leave without that bag. That's the one thing I desperate cannot live without. Speaking of unreal.
Well, what else. Obviously, Childress got fired. Home for the holidays, with all that cash. Being paid the same, either way. I need a deal like that. 11 months ago, they gave him a monster extension. So what, he forgot how to coach in 11 months??
Ehhh, that was a mercy firing, just like the Wade Phillips firing. I actually felt bad for Wade at the end... that was getting ugly. And the Childress deal had obviously degenerated into nothingness.
In a way, Favre got Mike Sherman fired, to an extent. He kinda got Eric Mangini fired in New York. And now Chilly is gone. But, to be fair, Favre also got Chilly about 18 million dollars. So, you live with the Favre, you die with the Favre.
Well, today's Packers Falcons tilt should be a good one. I'm actually kinda looking forward to this one.
As you can also see clearly from my picks, I am D U N Done with the San Francisco 49ers. How can they be favored on the road over anybody right now??? What is Vegas thinking with that line???
Alright, have fun!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
\Rant Mode On
Well, what a day.
I said I was gonna pick crazier... Oh well. I heard all week how great Miami was... Whoops. My source on the ground in Florida has a lot of explaining to do. Actually, I heard any number of analysts say how much they liked Tyler Thigpen. Heh heh. Really?? He looked to me like they may as well have dumped out his locker into a cardboard box, and set the box out by his car in the parking lot. Yeeeesh. Ugly.
When your 3rd string QB is sucking, and you're a Wildcat team, uhhh, why don't you just go Wildcat???
Speaking of ugly, Favre Hating nation had to love today's action. Wow. Is it just me, or is Brad Childress starting to have that Wade Phillips "Just fire me" look on his face?? He gets paid either way... Through 2013, I might add... whether he listens to "Fire Childress" chants at home or not....
I have the Eagles game on here... Eagles D is smothering... Philly did just punt though.
I was trying to think of a more dominating performance than what I saw last week, Eagles destroying the Redskins. The funny and insightful Gregg Easterbrook pointed out that in his Son's high school football games, as a form of "mercy ruling", if a team goes down by 28 or more points, they go to a running clock, where the clock runs continuously, regardless. Had such a rule been in place, Redskins Eagles would have gone to a running clock IN THE FIRST QUARTER! He went on to point out that none of the High School games in his son's league had gone to a running clock that early. Heh heh, enjoy, Redskins fans.
Actually, the Redskins beat the Titans today. Excuse me, I gotta jump off the Titans bandwagon here.... And, I'm off..okay, better. Heh heh, as great as Packer Fans feel today, here's a dose of reality: we lost to the Redskins earlier this year. Yeah.
But back to my point, the only game I can really remember that was that far out of control was Super Bowl 27, Dallas and Buffalo. Buffalo, 7 point favorites. What was the final, 52 to 10?? It was brutal. Okay, I just looked it up, it was 52 to 17. Even then, though, The first quarter ended 14 to 7, Cowboys. Bills had 9 turnovers... 4 picks, and 5 lost fumbles. Ahhh, those were the days. Wikipedia claims it was Cowboys by 6 for the line, that's wrong. I had my life bet on that game, and I know I was getting Cowboys +7...
Anyways, I parked the Eldorado today. Very sad. You know what's even sadder?? My truck got vandalized. I'm missing my rear tailgate emblem, and my Heritage of Ownership badge. Unreal.
So let me quote from Woody Harrelson in the Epic Classic "ZombieLand": "You do NOT F**K with a man's Cadillac!!!!!"
You do not. Period. Let me quote Bill Bixby, in his immortal role as Dr. David Banner: "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
Vick scores on a run to the corner of the endzone, Philly up 7 nothin'. Whooops, a little chippiness on the ensuing kickoff... Seems like there's some hard feelings between these two. Go figure, bitter division rivals...
Speaking of bitter division rivals and hard feelings, has Packer Nation purged themselves of all that badness with Brett Favre?? Probably not, but it was a nice win. A huge win actually. We needed that real bad after the Bears beat the Dolphins.
Doesn't Jay Cutler typically throw 3.some picks on average in road games??? Actually yeah, he does. Sadly, the Dolphins dropped 3.something picks, so it evened out.
Aaron Rodgers, 22 of 31 for 301, 141.3 rating.
Brett Favre, 17 of 38 for 208, 1 pick, 51.2 rating.
Now, allegedly, some bloggers with "inside connections" have been saying locally that this rivalry with Favre means a lot more to Rodgers than he lets on. So to make this complete, Rodgers oughtta go ahead and text Jenn Sterger, and invite her out to dinner. Wouldn't that complete the picture???
Heh heh, speaking of Jenn Sterger, is there some reason we're not seeing 15 gratuitous shots per game of Deanna Favre in the stands??? Just wondering.... ;)
The "Epic Renegade Cop" commercial was just on. I love that, the guy is carrying several large caliber handguns, nunchucks, a .308 assault rifle, and a rocket launcher. Heh heh!!! And his face is all cut up, like he's been brawling. Why do you have to brawl when you're a walking armory??? Just wondering...
Well, let's look at this pool for a second. It looks like Sharpcheddar, Ronfic, Big Headed Holy Rollers, and Kathb4 are still alive. A Philly win would help Kathb4 I see, and then a Denver win would do it for her. Looks like Giants Denver gives it to Sharcheddar... The Big Headed Holy Rollers need San Diego somehow... I'm not sure Ronfic could win, but maybe I'm missing something, it's been a long day.
Good luck people!
Well, I have a big announcement for you: I'm gonna arm myself like Epic Renegade Cop, and find the dudes who messed with my truck!
Kidding. No, the announcement is, my picks are for sale.
Yes they are. Are you a Bears Fan?? Go ahead and send me some money, and note how you want me to pick. Clearly, when I take the Bears' opponent with heavy points, it guarantees a Bears win. When I take the Packer opponent, the Packers win.
Now, if two people send me money, on opposite teams, the most money will win out. All you have to do is ask yourself how badly you need your team to win. Simple.
You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I haven't hit a pick on either team in a month. Go ahead, look it up in the standings.
Giants just sacked Vick. How'd that happen??
OMG, Eagles punt, Giants player decides to pick up the bouncing punt, and gets destroyed... ouch. I need a Celebrex after WATCHING that hit... wuuuhhhff.
Interesting commercial, Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon in "True Grit". Remake I assume?? Looked kinda good.
The Fraud that is Eli Manning just tried to throw a pick... Offensive receiver did a nice job to break it up. Whoops, on second down, Ahmad Bradshaw fumbles it away for the Giants. 6th fumble this season. There ya go, Eagles ball... Can someone explain to me what they see in these Giants??? I'm not seeing it. Sorry, I do not see it. And I'll tell you right now, I CAN'T WAIT to bet against the Bears and Giants in the Playoffs. I haven't seen so much smoke and mirrors since that David Copperfield show I saw...
Wow, Jackson drops the TD pass from Vick... Well okay, it was a little low, but he had him. Akers is good, 10-3 Eagles.
Wow. Ensuing kickoff, Giants returner falls down at the 13 yard line??? And then gets buried, ouch. 1st Down, Brandon Jacobs buried by 4 Eagles for a 2 yard loss... Seriously, I need a pain pill just to watch this. Ouch. Okay, 2nd and 12, Eli Manning throws a pick to Assante Samuel, Eagles ball at the 13 yard line. Lucky it wasn't a pick six.
Eli Manning doing a little explaining to Kevin Gilbride, his Offensive Coordinator.... Good luck with THAT explanation... "Yeah, I thought I'd throw it to Assante Samuel, just to see if he was paying attention..."
Jason Avant, alone in the endzone, drops the easy TD catch?!?!? Ugh. wow. Huh. Settling for an Akers field goal. Giants, again, crazy crazy stupid lucky that that wasn't 7. It could've been 7 three different ways...
Giants are getting totally and completely outplayed here, and it's only 13-3. Collingsworth, coming out of commercial: "Giants are very fortunate this isn't a blowout already..." Seriously, will someone get me a gig at the networks??? My talents are being totally wasted over here....
Gadzooks, do these Eagles cover kickoffs. Giants will start at the 13.
Assante Samuel just blew up Hagan on a quick hot route... ooopps 15 yard penalty. That brings the Giants out to the 30 yard line, wow. 1st Down, Eli tries to throw another pick, falls incomplete. (You think I'm kidding, but I'm not, Patterson had it in his hands...) Okay, back to the ground game, no gain on second down.
How about those Patriots?!?!? Peyton, a very Favreian performance. Brutal late pick, while they are in Field Goal Range. Field Goal ties it. I mean, wow. So much for the "Heady" Peyton Manning, the "Coach on the field", the "offensive mastermind"... Hmmm. Deion Branch of the Pats, 7 catches for 70 yards. This guy couldn't get off the bench in Seattle, and now he's lighting people up with New England. Unreal.
Giants 3rd and 10, incomplete, Eli trying to force the ball to his well covered tight end Boss.
Giants punt rolls in the end zone. 1st down Eagles, Vick 35 yard completion to Macklin. These Eagles have all the answers. First down, Vick flushed, runs for 9 yards. 2nd and 1, 20 yard completion to Macklin. 1st down Eagles, 15 yard line. Hmm, clipping penalty, backs 'em up. Throw to Makclin, at the goal line, incomplete. Hmm. Looks like the G-men have AGAIN held them to a field goal. Whoops, Filed goal is blocked. Wow. Despite being totally outplayed, the Giants are still only down 13-3.
This will mean nothing to people outside Wisconsin, but Laurie Bembenek passed away today. The end of the story, after all these years. She was famously accused of murdering her husband's ex wife, being found guilty, being sent to jail, loudly proclaiming that she was framed by her husband, who also was a police officer... Then she busted out of jail, and was recaptured a few months later in Thunder Bay Ontario Canada... Then more evidence was re-examined, and she was let out of jail on time served... she had recently petitioned outgoing Governor "Diamond" Jim Doyle for a pardon.... Quite a story. It'd make a heckuva Lifetime movie...
Anyways, good luck! Enjoy!
I said I was gonna pick crazier... Oh well. I heard all week how great Miami was... Whoops. My source on the ground in Florida has a lot of explaining to do. Actually, I heard any number of analysts say how much they liked Tyler Thigpen. Heh heh. Really?? He looked to me like they may as well have dumped out his locker into a cardboard box, and set the box out by his car in the parking lot. Yeeeesh. Ugly.
When your 3rd string QB is sucking, and you're a Wildcat team, uhhh, why don't you just go Wildcat???
Speaking of ugly, Favre Hating nation had to love today's action. Wow. Is it just me, or is Brad Childress starting to have that Wade Phillips "Just fire me" look on his face?? He gets paid either way... Through 2013, I might add... whether he listens to "Fire Childress" chants at home or not....
I have the Eagles game on here... Eagles D is smothering... Philly did just punt though.
I was trying to think of a more dominating performance than what I saw last week, Eagles destroying the Redskins. The funny and insightful Gregg Easterbrook pointed out that in his Son's high school football games, as a form of "mercy ruling", if a team goes down by 28 or more points, they go to a running clock, where the clock runs continuously, regardless. Had such a rule been in place, Redskins Eagles would have gone to a running clock IN THE FIRST QUARTER! He went on to point out that none of the High School games in his son's league had gone to a running clock that early. Heh heh, enjoy, Redskins fans.
Actually, the Redskins beat the Titans today. Excuse me, I gotta jump off the Titans bandwagon here.... And, I'm off..okay, better. Heh heh, as great as Packer Fans feel today, here's a dose of reality: we lost to the Redskins earlier this year. Yeah.
But back to my point, the only game I can really remember that was that far out of control was Super Bowl 27, Dallas and Buffalo. Buffalo, 7 point favorites. What was the final, 52 to 10?? It was brutal. Okay, I just looked it up, it was 52 to 17. Even then, though, The first quarter ended 14 to 7, Cowboys. Bills had 9 turnovers... 4 picks, and 5 lost fumbles. Ahhh, those were the days. Wikipedia claims it was Cowboys by 6 for the line, that's wrong. I had my life bet on that game, and I know I was getting Cowboys +7...
Anyways, I parked the Eldorado today. Very sad. You know what's even sadder?? My truck got vandalized. I'm missing my rear tailgate emblem, and my Heritage of Ownership badge. Unreal.
So let me quote from Woody Harrelson in the Epic Classic "ZombieLand": "You do NOT F**K with a man's Cadillac!!!!!"
You do not. Period. Let me quote Bill Bixby, in his immortal role as Dr. David Banner: "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
Vick scores on a run to the corner of the endzone, Philly up 7 nothin'. Whooops, a little chippiness on the ensuing kickoff... Seems like there's some hard feelings between these two. Go figure, bitter division rivals...
Speaking of bitter division rivals and hard feelings, has Packer Nation purged themselves of all that badness with Brett Favre?? Probably not, but it was a nice win. A huge win actually. We needed that real bad after the Bears beat the Dolphins.
Doesn't Jay Cutler typically throw 3.some picks on average in road games??? Actually yeah, he does. Sadly, the Dolphins dropped 3.something picks, so it evened out.
Aaron Rodgers, 22 of 31 for 301, 141.3 rating.
Brett Favre, 17 of 38 for 208, 1 pick, 51.2 rating.
Now, allegedly, some bloggers with "inside connections" have been saying locally that this rivalry with Favre means a lot more to Rodgers than he lets on. So to make this complete, Rodgers oughtta go ahead and text Jenn Sterger, and invite her out to dinner. Wouldn't that complete the picture???
Heh heh, speaking of Jenn Sterger, is there some reason we're not seeing 15 gratuitous shots per game of Deanna Favre in the stands??? Just wondering.... ;)
The "Epic Renegade Cop" commercial was just on. I love that, the guy is carrying several large caliber handguns, nunchucks, a .308 assault rifle, and a rocket launcher. Heh heh!!! And his face is all cut up, like he's been brawling. Why do you have to brawl when you're a walking armory??? Just wondering...
Well, let's look at this pool for a second. It looks like Sharpcheddar, Ronfic, Big Headed Holy Rollers, and Kathb4 are still alive. A Philly win would help Kathb4 I see, and then a Denver win would do it for her. Looks like Giants Denver gives it to Sharcheddar... The Big Headed Holy Rollers need San Diego somehow... I'm not sure Ronfic could win, but maybe I'm missing something, it's been a long day.
Good luck people!
Well, I have a big announcement for you: I'm gonna arm myself like Epic Renegade Cop, and find the dudes who messed with my truck!
Kidding. No, the announcement is, my picks are for sale.
Yes they are. Are you a Bears Fan?? Go ahead and send me some money, and note how you want me to pick. Clearly, when I take the Bears' opponent with heavy points, it guarantees a Bears win. When I take the Packer opponent, the Packers win.
Now, if two people send me money, on opposite teams, the most money will win out. All you have to do is ask yourself how badly you need your team to win. Simple.
You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I haven't hit a pick on either team in a month. Go ahead, look it up in the standings.
Giants just sacked Vick. How'd that happen??
OMG, Eagles punt, Giants player decides to pick up the bouncing punt, and gets destroyed... ouch. I need a Celebrex after WATCHING that hit... wuuuhhhff.
Interesting commercial, Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon in "True Grit". Remake I assume?? Looked kinda good.
The Fraud that is Eli Manning just tried to throw a pick... Offensive receiver did a nice job to break it up. Whoops, on second down, Ahmad Bradshaw fumbles it away for the Giants. 6th fumble this season. There ya go, Eagles ball... Can someone explain to me what they see in these Giants??? I'm not seeing it. Sorry, I do not see it. And I'll tell you right now, I CAN'T WAIT to bet against the Bears and Giants in the Playoffs. I haven't seen so much smoke and mirrors since that David Copperfield show I saw...
Wow, Jackson drops the TD pass from Vick... Well okay, it was a little low, but he had him. Akers is good, 10-3 Eagles.
Wow. Ensuing kickoff, Giants returner falls down at the 13 yard line??? And then gets buried, ouch. 1st Down, Brandon Jacobs buried by 4 Eagles for a 2 yard loss... Seriously, I need a pain pill just to watch this. Ouch. Okay, 2nd and 12, Eli Manning throws a pick to Assante Samuel, Eagles ball at the 13 yard line. Lucky it wasn't a pick six.
Eli Manning doing a little explaining to Kevin Gilbride, his Offensive Coordinator.... Good luck with THAT explanation... "Yeah, I thought I'd throw it to Assante Samuel, just to see if he was paying attention..."
Jason Avant, alone in the endzone, drops the easy TD catch?!?!? Ugh. wow. Huh. Settling for an Akers field goal. Giants, again, crazy crazy stupid lucky that that wasn't 7. It could've been 7 three different ways...
Giants are getting totally and completely outplayed here, and it's only 13-3. Collingsworth, coming out of commercial: "Giants are very fortunate this isn't a blowout already..." Seriously, will someone get me a gig at the networks??? My talents are being totally wasted over here....
Gadzooks, do these Eagles cover kickoffs. Giants will start at the 13.
Assante Samuel just blew up Hagan on a quick hot route... ooopps 15 yard penalty. That brings the Giants out to the 30 yard line, wow. 1st Down, Eli tries to throw another pick, falls incomplete. (You think I'm kidding, but I'm not, Patterson had it in his hands...) Okay, back to the ground game, no gain on second down.
How about those Patriots?!?!? Peyton, a very Favreian performance. Brutal late pick, while they are in Field Goal Range. Field Goal ties it. I mean, wow. So much for the "Heady" Peyton Manning, the "Coach on the field", the "offensive mastermind"... Hmmm. Deion Branch of the Pats, 7 catches for 70 yards. This guy couldn't get off the bench in Seattle, and now he's lighting people up with New England. Unreal.
Giants 3rd and 10, incomplete, Eli trying to force the ball to his well covered tight end Boss.
Giants punt rolls in the end zone. 1st down Eagles, Vick 35 yard completion to Macklin. These Eagles have all the answers. First down, Vick flushed, runs for 9 yards. 2nd and 1, 20 yard completion to Macklin. 1st down Eagles, 15 yard line. Hmm, clipping penalty, backs 'em up. Throw to Makclin, at the goal line, incomplete. Hmm. Looks like the G-men have AGAIN held them to a field goal. Whoops, Filed goal is blocked. Wow. Despite being totally outplayed, the Giants are still only down 13-3.
This will mean nothing to people outside Wisconsin, but Laurie Bembenek passed away today. The end of the story, after all these years. She was famously accused of murdering her husband's ex wife, being found guilty, being sent to jail, loudly proclaiming that she was framed by her husband, who also was a police officer... Then she busted out of jail, and was recaptured a few months later in Thunder Bay Ontario Canada... Then more evidence was re-examined, and she was let out of jail on time served... she had recently petitioned outgoing Governor "Diamond" Jim Doyle for a pardon.... Quite a story. It'd make a heckuva Lifetime movie...
Anyways, good luck! Enjoy!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Bye Week??
I guess I took an unscheduled bye week there... sorry.
They transferred me to Madison... hard to recombobulate myself...
Anyways, First off, congrats go out to Elusive for his big win in week 8. Nice job man. He had Green Bay over the Jets. In New York. Coming off a bye. Unreal.
That game caused me to get off my "home teams coming off a bye" theorem... and naturally, home teams coming off a bye haven't lost since.... sigh... oh well.
Congrats also go out to Highz, and his week 9 win. 1 wrong, New England losing to Cleveland. Unreal. Should have been the perfect paper, no losses. On an AUTOPICK, no less. Hold on, I have to vomit....
Wow. Brutal. An autopick...
This week looks like we could have Bears Fan Ardita, or Gregslo. Good luck fellas. There's 4 minutes left in the first quarter, Eagles are up 21 to nothing. Sorry Ardita.
Whoops, Philly just scored again, make it 28 to nuthin'. 1:55 left in the first quarter. Heavy booing in DC. Heavy. Eagles on pace to win 112 to nothing. Redskins Defense hs allowed over 250 yards of offense thus far. Heh heh. Wait, the 'Skins are a home team, coming off a bye.
Donovan McNabb featuring the 1000 yard stare.... Mike Shanahan probably considering inserting Rex Grossman here... What a circus.
3rd and 8, McNabb throws, tipped by the wideout on a very catchable ball, picked off! Okay wait, it hit the ground, but still. This is brutal. They should "mercy rule" the Redskins right now.
How about 'dem Cowboys!!! I'm still kicking myself for not picking them. Even Sharpcheddar didn't have them. Still, I smelled that one coming. My natural hatred of the overrated Giants.... I'm not gonna lie, I may need medical treatment. How did I not see that coming?!?!?
The first quarter is mercifully over. 28 to nothing, Eagles, in the Nation's Capitol. This is the largest lead a visiting team has ever had at the end of the first quarter of an NFL game. Seriously. Mike Tirico just said it.
Tampa Bay, another big win. My source on the ground in Southwest Florida is reporting that people are believing in these Bucs... As well they should.
Whooops, Vick going deep for Macklin... TouchDOOWN!!!! Make it 35 to nothing. Washington is challenging, but they're gonna lose. Ummm, seriously, the Redskins oughtta forfeit right now... this game is over.
Don't feel bad for Ardita. He has a high high pain tolerance. He's a Bear's Fan. He sat through several years of Rex Grossman as his starting QB. Which, actually, in a way, it shocks me that he would take the Redskins. Does Ardita know that the Redskins have Rex Grossman on their roster??? Does he know that Mike Shanahan has shown a willingness to insert Mr. Grossman into real games???
They're panning the crowd here at FedEx Field.... They should start passing out OxyCodone tabs in the concourse. It's not pretty.
Ruling on the field stands, 35 to nothing, Eagles, 14:51 remaining in the second quarter. 9 seconds into the 2nd, antoher TD allowed...
OhmiGod, a sign of life from the Redskins. McNabb deep to his tight end Davis, first and goal, Redskins. Whooops, TD, Redskins. Hold the phone, the Redskins are within 4 Touchdowns!!!
Heh heh, okay, a sarcastic joke, sorry.
Haynesworth is on the sidelines in obvious running situations.... Besides the absurd McNabb drama that is ongoing, we still have the Simmering Haynesworth Drama. Do we have any evidence that Mike Shanahan is still sane??? Any?? I'm gonna say no, no evidence.
Crowd let's out a sarcastic cheer, they just stopped the Eagles on 3rd down. Eagles punting. First Eagles drive of the night that didn't end in a touchdown.
Speaking of the Cowboys, I would hope Andy Reid sent a nice gift to Jason Garrett... Clobbering the Giants gives the Eagles a huge lift towards the playoffs...
What the hell, The Redskins just went deep again and completed it!!! Goal to go, TD REdskins!!! do we actually have a game here??? 35 to 14 now. Skins down 21 now. McNabb smiling on the sidelines. And he has reason to. He just signed a deal with the Skins with $40 million guaranteed dollars. 2 weeks ago, benched. Now, $40 million.
I must ask again, are we sure Shanahan is sane???
Well, this sure looks like Philly. Which sure looks like Gregslo. Congrats man!
Next week, I'll pick even crazier than I have been!!! Stay tuned for that, it promises to be a dooozy...
They transferred me to Madison... hard to recombobulate myself...
Anyways, First off, congrats go out to Elusive for his big win in week 8. Nice job man. He had Green Bay over the Jets. In New York. Coming off a bye. Unreal.
That game caused me to get off my "home teams coming off a bye" theorem... and naturally, home teams coming off a bye haven't lost since.... sigh... oh well.
Congrats also go out to Highz, and his week 9 win. 1 wrong, New England losing to Cleveland. Unreal. Should have been the perfect paper, no losses. On an AUTOPICK, no less. Hold on, I have to vomit....
Wow. Brutal. An autopick...
This week looks like we could have Bears Fan Ardita, or Gregslo. Good luck fellas. There's 4 minutes left in the first quarter, Eagles are up 21 to nothing. Sorry Ardita.
Whoops, Philly just scored again, make it 28 to nuthin'. 1:55 left in the first quarter. Heavy booing in DC. Heavy. Eagles on pace to win 112 to nothing. Redskins Defense hs allowed over 250 yards of offense thus far. Heh heh. Wait, the 'Skins are a home team, coming off a bye.
Donovan McNabb featuring the 1000 yard stare.... Mike Shanahan probably considering inserting Rex Grossman here... What a circus.
3rd and 8, McNabb throws, tipped by the wideout on a very catchable ball, picked off! Okay wait, it hit the ground, but still. This is brutal. They should "mercy rule" the Redskins right now.
How about 'dem Cowboys!!! I'm still kicking myself for not picking them. Even Sharpcheddar didn't have them. Still, I smelled that one coming. My natural hatred of the overrated Giants.... I'm not gonna lie, I may need medical treatment. How did I not see that coming?!?!?
The first quarter is mercifully over. 28 to nothing, Eagles, in the Nation's Capitol. This is the largest lead a visiting team has ever had at the end of the first quarter of an NFL game. Seriously. Mike Tirico just said it.
Tampa Bay, another big win. My source on the ground in Southwest Florida is reporting that people are believing in these Bucs... As well they should.
Whooops, Vick going deep for Macklin... TouchDOOWN!!!! Make it 35 to nothing. Washington is challenging, but they're gonna lose. Ummm, seriously, the Redskins oughtta forfeit right now... this game is over.
Don't feel bad for Ardita. He has a high high pain tolerance. He's a Bear's Fan. He sat through several years of Rex Grossman as his starting QB. Which, actually, in a way, it shocks me that he would take the Redskins. Does Ardita know that the Redskins have Rex Grossman on their roster??? Does he know that Mike Shanahan has shown a willingness to insert Mr. Grossman into real games???
They're panning the crowd here at FedEx Field.... They should start passing out OxyCodone tabs in the concourse. It's not pretty.
Ruling on the field stands, 35 to nothing, Eagles, 14:51 remaining in the second quarter. 9 seconds into the 2nd, antoher TD allowed...
OhmiGod, a sign of life from the Redskins. McNabb deep to his tight end Davis, first and goal, Redskins. Whooops, TD, Redskins. Hold the phone, the Redskins are within 4 Touchdowns!!!
Heh heh, okay, a sarcastic joke, sorry.
Haynesworth is on the sidelines in obvious running situations.... Besides the absurd McNabb drama that is ongoing, we still have the Simmering Haynesworth Drama. Do we have any evidence that Mike Shanahan is still sane??? Any?? I'm gonna say no, no evidence.
Crowd let's out a sarcastic cheer, they just stopped the Eagles on 3rd down. Eagles punting. First Eagles drive of the night that didn't end in a touchdown.
Speaking of the Cowboys, I would hope Andy Reid sent a nice gift to Jason Garrett... Clobbering the Giants gives the Eagles a huge lift towards the playoffs...
What the hell, The Redskins just went deep again and completed it!!! Goal to go, TD REdskins!!! do we actually have a game here??? 35 to 14 now. Skins down 21 now. McNabb smiling on the sidelines. And he has reason to. He just signed a deal with the Skins with $40 million guaranteed dollars. 2 weeks ago, benched. Now, $40 million.
I must ask again, are we sure Shanahan is sane???
Well, this sure looks like Philly. Which sure looks like Gregslo. Congrats man!
Next week, I'll pick even crazier than I have been!!! Stay tuned for that, it promises to be a dooozy...
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Don't Blame Me!!!
Hey, don't blame me. Just sayin'. Don't blame me. It's not me. I am not responsible.
Hey, it's working for Brad "Don't Blame Me" Childress, why can't it work for me?!?!?
Seriously, he throws Brett Favre under the bus on Sunday. Really. Really???
Let's back up a second, Brad. YOU were the dude who begged Brett Favre to come to Minnesota. YOU were the limo driver who went and picked up Favre at the airport... You were the one at the press conferences, saying how thrilled you were...
YOU were the one who sent 3 players down there to drag Brett back, in handcufffs if necessary... That was YOU, Brad...
You know who else you were, Brad??? YOU are the guy who signed a big big big phat phat phat contract extension in the offseason. Quoting Vikings Owner Zigi Wilf at the press conference when Brad signed his new deal, “Brad has done a tremendous job leading this football team and we value the positive environment he has created for the Minnesota Vikings on and off the field, He has continued to positively impact this team and create a strong foundation for future success."[11]
Yeah, you Brad, you. Yeah, heavy money. ESPN sources claim it's $5 million a year thru 2013. Plus the original $10 million deal you signed... Not bad. Your grandkids are set for life, dude.
But, let's be clear here Brad, did your amazing coaching get you that contract extension?? Nah. Not really. Did you develop Tavaris Jackson into a star NFL QB?? Nah. Are your offensive schemes and game plans blowing people's minds?? Naahh. Not really.
No. What happened was, Brett Favre came to Minnesota, The team went 12-4, and in November, with the team dominating and Favre under center, you signed a monster contract extension.
Brett Favre got you that contract extension. If Childress trots out Tavaris Jackson, they go 7-9, miss the playoffs.... Fired. No extension for you, buddy boy. NO, Brett Favre GOT YOU that contract extension.
So now, NOW you wanna throw Favre under the bus?? Really?? Now you have the audacity, now that you're set for life, to throw Favre under the bus??? Really? Wow, that's gratitude for you, right there.
Is Favre throwing a lotta picks??? Sure he is, absolutely. That's what Favre does!! If you bring a Toy Poodle into your house, and he steals your bacon cheeseburger and eats it, don't be too frickin' surprised over there. That's what doggies do, they eat bacon cheeseburgers. It's in their nature. It's in Favre's nature to be Favre. He'll make some electrifying throws, and he'll throw some brutal picks...
That's Favre, plain and simple.
It's also not Brad Childress's fault because the officials sucked in that game. Brad said that, and got fined. And yeah, they did suck. Sure. They did. I saw it.
But at some point, you're the head coach. YOU have to take some RESPONSIBILITY for the loss. You had opportunities. Oh by the way, who was that with the red flag in their pocket after the Shiancoe touchdown, that was ruled not a TD, but really was a TD?? That was you, Brad. You could have reviewed that play. That's on you, bud. YOU. You.
And in case he hasn't done enough, he then calls out Bill Belichick and the Patriots, calling them "some of the all-time great signal stealers." Unquote.
Yeah Chilly, that's a great idea. Get the 3 time Super Bowl Champions a little riled up and motivated, coming off their bye, to smack your face in the dirt. It's okay, that won't be your fault either... Not to worry. You signed your extension, now the whole world can go Eff off, I guess....
I forget, how many rings have you won, Chilly??? None, that's right, yeah. But you have a few SB appearances, right?? No. Hmmm. Well, okay, whatever... Keep kicking sand in Bill Belichick's face, dude. I'm sure he's impressed...
What a zoo.
(Vikings fans are now washing down a couple of oxycodone tablets with a water glass full of Grey Goose Vodka. Cheers, Vikings fans!!! Heh heh. Ugh.)
Not that things are much better in Green Bay. Ahhh, not really. Biiig loss coming against the well-rested Jets. Could get out of hand quickly.
How 'bout 'dem Cowboys!!! Heh heh, yeah, not so much.
Actually, that brings me to an intriguing point. I watched the Packer game with a true member of Favre Hating Nation last week. I must tell you, it is surreal to see Packer fans yelling "Kill him!!!! Kill that guy!!! Kill his FACE!!!" whenever the pass rush gets near Mr. Favre. Surreal. This guy did deliver us the Lombardi trophy in 1996, after 25 years of full and complete sucking, of being a total and complete embarrassment... You remember that, right??? And, you're so sure we're not backsliding in that direction under TT and MM, right?? You're sure. Okay, just checking...
Very strange. But anyways, speaking of hating your QB, for all you Tony Romo bashers, you got your wish. He's out for at least 8 weeks. Enjoy Jon Kitna's 6 picks per game, and "give up quick" attitude. He should fit right in on this team. With Wade at the controls, he's the perfect QB. Perfect.
I'll tell you what, would someone go ahead and start the rumor that Jon Gruden is going to take over as Head Coach and GM of the Cowboys??? Someone?? I don't care if you're lying, just give me some hope here, please.... I know, I know, who in their right mind would work for Jerry Jones.... I know....
Huge Michigan State game on on a little while. I got things to do.
Later, people.
Hey, it's working for Brad "Don't Blame Me" Childress, why can't it work for me?!?!?
Seriously, he throws Brett Favre under the bus on Sunday. Really. Really???
Let's back up a second, Brad. YOU were the dude who begged Brett Favre to come to Minnesota. YOU were the limo driver who went and picked up Favre at the airport... You were the one at the press conferences, saying how thrilled you were...
YOU were the one who sent 3 players down there to drag Brett back, in handcufffs if necessary... That was YOU, Brad...
You know who else you were, Brad??? YOU are the guy who signed a big big big phat phat phat contract extension in the offseason. Quoting Vikings Owner Zigi Wilf at the press conference when Brad signed his new deal, “Brad has done a tremendous job leading this football team and we value the positive environment he has created for the Minnesota Vikings on and off the field, He has continued to positively impact this team and create a strong foundation for future success."[11]
Yeah, you Brad, you. Yeah, heavy money. ESPN sources claim it's $5 million a year thru 2013. Plus the original $10 million deal you signed... Not bad. Your grandkids are set for life, dude.
But, let's be clear here Brad, did your amazing coaching get you that contract extension?? Nah. Not really. Did you develop Tavaris Jackson into a star NFL QB?? Nah. Are your offensive schemes and game plans blowing people's minds?? Naahh. Not really.
No. What happened was, Brett Favre came to Minnesota, The team went 12-4, and in November, with the team dominating and Favre under center, you signed a monster contract extension.
Brett Favre got you that contract extension. If Childress trots out Tavaris Jackson, they go 7-9, miss the playoffs.... Fired. No extension for you, buddy boy. NO, Brett Favre GOT YOU that contract extension.
So now, NOW you wanna throw Favre under the bus?? Really?? Now you have the audacity, now that you're set for life, to throw Favre under the bus??? Really? Wow, that's gratitude for you, right there.
Is Favre throwing a lotta picks??? Sure he is, absolutely. That's what Favre does!! If you bring a Toy Poodle into your house, and he steals your bacon cheeseburger and eats it, don't be too frickin' surprised over there. That's what doggies do, they eat bacon cheeseburgers. It's in their nature. It's in Favre's nature to be Favre. He'll make some electrifying throws, and he'll throw some brutal picks...
That's Favre, plain and simple.
It's also not Brad Childress's fault because the officials sucked in that game. Brad said that, and got fined. And yeah, they did suck. Sure. They did. I saw it.
But at some point, you're the head coach. YOU have to take some RESPONSIBILITY for the loss. You had opportunities. Oh by the way, who was that with the red flag in their pocket after the Shiancoe touchdown, that was ruled not a TD, but really was a TD?? That was you, Brad. You could have reviewed that play. That's on you, bud. YOU. You.
And in case he hasn't done enough, he then calls out Bill Belichick and the Patriots, calling them "some of the all-time great signal stealers." Unquote.
Yeah Chilly, that's a great idea. Get the 3 time Super Bowl Champions a little riled up and motivated, coming off their bye, to smack your face in the dirt. It's okay, that won't be your fault either... Not to worry. You signed your extension, now the whole world can go Eff off, I guess....
I forget, how many rings have you won, Chilly??? None, that's right, yeah. But you have a few SB appearances, right?? No. Hmmm. Well, okay, whatever... Keep kicking sand in Bill Belichick's face, dude. I'm sure he's impressed...
What a zoo.
(Vikings fans are now washing down a couple of oxycodone tablets with a water glass full of Grey Goose Vodka. Cheers, Vikings fans!!! Heh heh. Ugh.)
Not that things are much better in Green Bay. Ahhh, not really. Biiig loss coming against the well-rested Jets. Could get out of hand quickly.
How 'bout 'dem Cowboys!!! Heh heh, yeah, not so much.
Actually, that brings me to an intriguing point. I watched the Packer game with a true member of Favre Hating Nation last week. I must tell you, it is surreal to see Packer fans yelling "Kill him!!!! Kill that guy!!! Kill his FACE!!!" whenever the pass rush gets near Mr. Favre. Surreal. This guy did deliver us the Lombardi trophy in 1996, after 25 years of full and complete sucking, of being a total and complete embarrassment... You remember that, right??? And, you're so sure we're not backsliding in that direction under TT and MM, right?? You're sure. Okay, just checking...
Very strange. But anyways, speaking of hating your QB, for all you Tony Romo bashers, you got your wish. He's out for at least 8 weeks. Enjoy Jon Kitna's 6 picks per game, and "give up quick" attitude. He should fit right in on this team. With Wade at the controls, he's the perfect QB. Perfect.
I'll tell you what, would someone go ahead and start the rumor that Jon Gruden is going to take over as Head Coach and GM of the Cowboys??? Someone?? I don't care if you're lying, just give me some hope here, please.... I know, I know, who in their right mind would work for Jerry Jones.... I know....
Huge Michigan State game on on a little while. I got things to do.
Later, people.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Where were we???
Uh huh, let's see, where were we???
Through the magic of computing, and of GMC Trucks, I'm in Florida. The sun is baking the Wisconsin Puppies into a mushy puddle, like melting ice cream. Nice and warm down here...
Anyhoo, I've been so frickin busy, so let's recap:
Congrats to ERIN07 for his big win in week 6. Nice job, buddy. Nice. 11 wins in an upset-packed season like this is amazing...
Why did I have the Bears??? I could swear I raised my right hand and took a vow to never take the Bears again, to never hitch my wagon to Lovie Smith.... Hmmm.
And this week, It's so over already, it's not even funny, SHARPCHEDDAR has it wrapped up, parked in the garage, winterized, battery on the tender.... It's over. Cue Billy Packer: "This game... is OVAH!!" Nice job man. Pack for 16, wow. Hitching your wagon to Mike McCarthy, who after all these years, still looks like a frat brother who showed up at the stadium, and is pacing the sidelines saying "Where's the free beer?? I thought there was gonna be free beer?!?!? WTF??? Look, it says right on this paper I'm holding, free beer..."
Sharpcheddar's 3rd win. Look out. This is his kinda year. Upsets galore.
And I had the Bears again. What am I doing... (shakes head in disgust...) I'm gonna have to enter counseling or something, if I can't keep straight in my head to NEVER TAKE THE BEARS. Yeeesh. Rule #1, look, it's right here on my cheat sheet....
Sadly, I have to get rolling here... This is a historic season. I'm dead last in the season's rank. Never happened before. Sears, stop snickering. Highz, wipe that smirk off your face. You guys better watch it, I'll start trying to pick better...
Through the magic of computing, and of GMC Trucks, I'm in Florida. The sun is baking the Wisconsin Puppies into a mushy puddle, like melting ice cream. Nice and warm down here...
Anyhoo, I've been so frickin busy, so let's recap:
Congrats to ERIN07 for his big win in week 6. Nice job, buddy. Nice. 11 wins in an upset-packed season like this is amazing...
Why did I have the Bears??? I could swear I raised my right hand and took a vow to never take the Bears again, to never hitch my wagon to Lovie Smith.... Hmmm.
And this week, It's so over already, it's not even funny, SHARPCHEDDAR has it wrapped up, parked in the garage, winterized, battery on the tender.... It's over. Cue Billy Packer: "This game... is OVAH!!" Nice job man. Pack for 16, wow. Hitching your wagon to Mike McCarthy, who after all these years, still looks like a frat brother who showed up at the stadium, and is pacing the sidelines saying "Where's the free beer?? I thought there was gonna be free beer?!?!? WTF??? Look, it says right on this paper I'm holding, free beer..."
Sharpcheddar's 3rd win. Look out. This is his kinda year. Upsets galore.
And I had the Bears again. What am I doing... (shakes head in disgust...) I'm gonna have to enter counseling or something, if I can't keep straight in my head to NEVER TAKE THE BEARS. Yeeesh. Rule #1, look, it's right here on my cheat sheet....
Sadly, I have to get rolling here... This is a historic season. I'm dead last in the season's rank. Never happened before. Sears, stop snickering. Highz, wipe that smirk off your face. You guys better watch it, I'll start trying to pick better...
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Firing Squad meets tomorrow morning...
Well, as I sit here in front of Eagles - 49ers, I'm scratching my head yet again. More crazy upsets. If San Francisco wins, Sharpcheddar has it, I believe.
If Philly wins, Kathb4 could win outright with a Vikings win, or end up in a tie with a Jets win.
I think. Well, Kevin Kolb looks slightly better than last week. Although, Philly has had their chances here, and they keep punting the ball back... Yeah, go ahead and let the 49ers hang around.
Whoops, just as I say that, McCoy for the Eagles just rumbled 29 yards for a score. 17-7, Eagles, late first half.
I'm kinda shocked by the 16 on the Eagles. I really... I'm trying to comment, and I have nothing. 16?? Really?? Of all the stone cold locks (on paper), you put 16 on the Eagles??? I thought I was a degenerate gambler. Wow. I'm gonna have to go a little deeper into the degenerate playbook...
Half the games today were straight up upsets. Not covers mind you, but upsets. Unreal.
Headline: "Packers say QB Aaron Rodgers got concussion" Huh. I like Rodgers, I have no problem... but I'm really really starting to think that he really doesn't have that "come from behind" genetics in him. Tight game, late, I have no feeling that he's gonna lead a scoring drive. None. Proceeds to throw a pick in overtime... Not good. It's not good. He's a first-half wonder. I see all these stats about how great he is in the red zone, and breakdowns... I'd love to see his stats, first half vs second half.
Kevin Kolb, sacked, fumble, 49ers recover. But can they do anything?? Seems unlikely. Okay wait, nice pass to Crabtree, 10 seconds to go, in field goal range... Alex Smith tries to throw a pick, not picked. Field goal team coming on. Joe Nedney, from 40. Bad miss to the right. Again people, if the young men in your life are not kicking, well,I've got nothing for you.
Headline: "4 Saints Turnovers Lead to Arizona Upset". Ugh. I dunno about you, but I'm starting to lose that loving feeling towards the Saints. Points will be adjusted in upcoming weeks. You go out to the desert, to face an undrafted rookie QB... As the feature goes on ESPN: C'mon, Man!!!!
Cowboys at 1-3. It's enough now. Jason Garrett, Wade Phillips, bring 'em out, give them a blindfold and a cigarette.... It's over. It is way past time to move on. At home, coming off a bye, 2 frickin' weeks to get ready. That's it. In my Cowboys notebook, I just wrote "season over", and closed the book. I'm putting the notebook in my bookcase, I'll get it back out when a new head coach is named.
Packers: Season Over. Let's fast forward in time here, to January, when Uncle Tedly will give an interview following the Packer's 6-10 season, and say "I'm not going to use injuries as an excuse, but they definitely were a factor in our disappointing season." Yeah, flash for ya Ted, so were the plethora of penalties, the myriad of problems on our offensive line, and the continuing and ongoing suckitude of our special teams. To say nothing of our pathetic running game. I've often said that Ryan Grant is not a feature back, he shouldn't be our starter, we shouldn't have paid him. I stand by that. We've needed a running back for at least 14 months. And, uh, another flash for ya Ted: signing a back who was cut from someone else's practice squad is not what I'd call a big move to rectify the problem, in the midst of a Super Bowl run...
That's not what I call being a General Manager. That's what I call "keeping the seat warm".
God God, I was distracted there, during some research. Little web commercial, Captain Morgan Presents Marissa Miller, First Mate. Gadzooks, the World's Number One, in a Captain Morgan Commercial. Heh, nice. Yahoo sports, if you care to see that... and I know you do. Okay, some of you do. Ahem, anyway...
Detroit 44, St. Louis 6. Hey, they're off the schneid!!! Really, we know they beat the Bears, the almost deserved to beat the Packers. They could have 3 wins right now.
Fast forward to 14:00 left in the 4th quarter, Alex Smith, a brutal fumble, returned for a TD for the Eagles. Kick back to the 49ers, Alex Smith clearly rattled, 49ers home fans heavily booing, heavily booing... Now chanting "We want Carr!!!". Ugh. Could it get any uglier?? Seriously, this home crowd is ready to storm the field and tear Mike Singletary into a million pieces..
I'm writing "game over" in my notebook and going to bed. Mike Singletary, go ahead and report with Wade Phillips and Jason Garrett. You're done.
----------
I'm back, and it's Monday Night. Kathb4 just became a huge Vikings fan... And Sharpcheddar is pulling hard for Rex Ryan and the Jets.
Eagles win. Yeah, Mike Singletary, go ahead and join those guys, deffinitely. Or put David Carr in. Do something, dude.
Well, huge game tonight. Huge.
Before I go, you might want to take a look at jennsterger.net... Fan site for Jenn Sterger, the Brett Favre texting girl. I viewed this for research purposes only, of course... And based on my research, Mr. Favre has bigger problems than Roger Goodell. Roger Goodell is not going to move out of his house and take half his money. Capisce?? Yeah. Exactly.
Also, you might go on youtube and do a search for "captain morgan marisa miller" and see what you come up with... As long as it's raining in New York, and there's no football.
Later!!!
If Philly wins, Kathb4 could win outright with a Vikings win, or end up in a tie with a Jets win.
I think. Well, Kevin Kolb looks slightly better than last week. Although, Philly has had their chances here, and they keep punting the ball back... Yeah, go ahead and let the 49ers hang around.
Whoops, just as I say that, McCoy for the Eagles just rumbled 29 yards for a score. 17-7, Eagles, late first half.
I'm kinda shocked by the 16 on the Eagles. I really... I'm trying to comment, and I have nothing. 16?? Really?? Of all the stone cold locks (on paper), you put 16 on the Eagles??? I thought I was a degenerate gambler. Wow. I'm gonna have to go a little deeper into the degenerate playbook...
Half the games today were straight up upsets. Not covers mind you, but upsets. Unreal.
Headline: "Packers say QB Aaron Rodgers got concussion" Huh. I like Rodgers, I have no problem... but I'm really really starting to think that he really doesn't have that "come from behind" genetics in him. Tight game, late, I have no feeling that he's gonna lead a scoring drive. None. Proceeds to throw a pick in overtime... Not good. It's not good. He's a first-half wonder. I see all these stats about how great he is in the red zone, and breakdowns... I'd love to see his stats, first half vs second half.
Kevin Kolb, sacked, fumble, 49ers recover. But can they do anything?? Seems unlikely. Okay wait, nice pass to Crabtree, 10 seconds to go, in field goal range... Alex Smith tries to throw a pick, not picked. Field goal team coming on. Joe Nedney, from 40. Bad miss to the right. Again people, if the young men in your life are not kicking, well,I've got nothing for you.
Headline: "4 Saints Turnovers Lead to Arizona Upset". Ugh. I dunno about you, but I'm starting to lose that loving feeling towards the Saints. Points will be adjusted in upcoming weeks. You go out to the desert, to face an undrafted rookie QB... As the feature goes on ESPN: C'mon, Man!!!!
Cowboys at 1-3. It's enough now. Jason Garrett, Wade Phillips, bring 'em out, give them a blindfold and a cigarette.... It's over. It is way past time to move on. At home, coming off a bye, 2 frickin' weeks to get ready. That's it. In my Cowboys notebook, I just wrote "season over", and closed the book. I'm putting the notebook in my bookcase, I'll get it back out when a new head coach is named.
Packers: Season Over. Let's fast forward in time here, to January, when Uncle Tedly will give an interview following the Packer's 6-10 season, and say "I'm not going to use injuries as an excuse, but they definitely were a factor in our disappointing season." Yeah, flash for ya Ted, so were the plethora of penalties, the myriad of problems on our offensive line, and the continuing and ongoing suckitude of our special teams. To say nothing of our pathetic running game. I've often said that Ryan Grant is not a feature back, he shouldn't be our starter, we shouldn't have paid him. I stand by that. We've needed a running back for at least 14 months. And, uh, another flash for ya Ted: signing a back who was cut from someone else's practice squad is not what I'd call a big move to rectify the problem, in the midst of a Super Bowl run...
That's not what I call being a General Manager. That's what I call "keeping the seat warm".
God God, I was distracted there, during some research. Little web commercial, Captain Morgan Presents Marissa Miller, First Mate. Gadzooks, the World's Number One, in a Captain Morgan Commercial. Heh, nice. Yahoo sports, if you care to see that... and I know you do. Okay, some of you do. Ahem, anyway...
Detroit 44, St. Louis 6. Hey, they're off the schneid!!! Really, we know they beat the Bears, the almost deserved to beat the Packers. They could have 3 wins right now.
Fast forward to 14:00 left in the 4th quarter, Alex Smith, a brutal fumble, returned for a TD for the Eagles. Kick back to the 49ers, Alex Smith clearly rattled, 49ers home fans heavily booing, heavily booing... Now chanting "We want Carr!!!". Ugh. Could it get any uglier?? Seriously, this home crowd is ready to storm the field and tear Mike Singletary into a million pieces..
I'm writing "game over" in my notebook and going to bed. Mike Singletary, go ahead and report with Wade Phillips and Jason Garrett. You're done.
----------
I'm back, and it's Monday Night. Kathb4 just became a huge Vikings fan... And Sharpcheddar is pulling hard for Rex Ryan and the Jets.
Eagles win. Yeah, Mike Singletary, go ahead and join those guys, deffinitely. Or put David Carr in. Do something, dude.
Well, huge game tonight. Huge.
Before I go, you might want to take a look at jennsterger.net... Fan site for Jenn Sterger, the Brett Favre texting girl. I viewed this for research purposes only, of course... And based on my research, Mr. Favre has bigger problems than Roger Goodell. Roger Goodell is not going to move out of his house and take half his money. Capisce?? Yeah. Exactly.
Also, you might go on youtube and do a search for "captain morgan marisa miller" and see what you come up with... As long as it's raining in New York, and there's no football.
Later!!!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Another Brick in the wall....
Well, as I sit here in front of Patriots - Dolphins, I see that Sharpcheddar and Badgergil appear to be the two players with a real shot here... good luck fellas.
KathB4, aka "The Doc", having a nice week.
I'd be remiss if I didn't mention this... KathB4 is also in a college football pool, with other people. Last week she was tied for first, in a pool of 1023 people. Not. Too. Shabby. Actually, it's insane. Nice job!!!
Feel free to send me your sick gambling exploits. I love great gambling stories. Tell me how you hit that killer 3 team teaser... Whatever. If it's epic enough, I'll share it here...
Not the most impressive Packer Victory I ever saw... These Lions are fiesty. They coulda won that game. The Packers may not be who we were led to believe they were... I don't have that Super Bowl feeling after the last two weeks....
The Bears, on the other hand, were who we thought they were. And then some. Ugh. Jay Cutler was who we thought he was. Somehow, despite all I hear about the Packers D, we certainly didn't feast on the Chicago offensive line like the Giants and Cowboys did.
At the 5:00 minute mark in the second quarter, am I starting to sense that these Patriots may have a problem??? Got the pick, but only got 3 out of it. 7-3, Dolphins. Hmm.
I just realized that we have a battle of Michigan QB's here. Brady of course had a very decorated careerr with the Michigan Wolverines, and Chad Henne was their QB as well, fairly recently.
Okay, 2 huge defensive stops... Whoops, pass interference on 3rd and ten, another first down for Miami. Wow.
Ricky Williams running wild in the secondary.... ugh.
Okay, Ninkovich gets his second pick of the half... Maybe these Patriots have a shot. First two picks of his career, right there...
At the half, Miami 7, Patriots 6. Hmm. Patriots will receive in the second half.
OMG, will they ever!!! Opening kickoff, Tate runs the kick back 103 yards for the TD!!! Whoa.
**************
Whoops, fell asleep. I'll spare the readers the ten pages of "sssssssssssssssss" where my hand fell asleep on the "s" key... Heh heh... What can I say, they're trying to kill me at work. Sent me to communist Madison to report... what a thrill. Let me set the stage, the CO I report to is situated between a check cashing center and a liquor store, a block off the highway. Heh heh, yeah, the neighborhood, ummm, yeah, uhh, let's just say, it could be better. Not exactly where one might choose to park one's mint Escalade... To say nothing of the extra 60 frickin' miles a day I have to drive.
Ahh, I was so excited when I got this job, back in November of 1999... It's taken them awhile, but I can safely say right now they've beaten the life out of me. Driving to Madison yesterday, there was some insane thick fog on the interstate... I'm following a semi, maybe 6 car lengths, whoosh, he disappears. That'd be about right. They've been trying to kill me for years, if I got killed on the way to work, that would be a fitting capstone to my experience here with this employer.
Anyways, what happened with that football game??? There were a few interested parties, Sharpcheddar and Badgergil. Hold on, checking....
Wow, Patriots sepcial teams came alive in the second half, apparently. 41-14, Pats.
Tom Brady again etches himself into the record books, fastest to 100 career wins. Nice job buddy. Jon Gruden during the game says "If I could be anyone else, I'd wanna be Tom Brady. This guy HAS IT ALL!!!!" Well said. I love Gruden.
In case you don't get what he means by "has it all", this is Brady's GF, Gisele Bundchen:
Congrats to Badgergil. Second week in a row, he scores the big win. Nice job man.
Sharpcheddar and the Big Headed Holy Rollers each had ten correct picks. No easy task, with upsets flying everywhere. This could be Sharpcheddar's kind of year, he loooves the upset.
Let's look at a few headlines, then I gotta go.
"Vick expects to miss a week, maybe two" Yeah, that's no good. Did you SEE Kevin Kolb in that game??? Whoa. Eagles fans hopefully had a wastebasket with a plastic liner handy while they watched THAT debacle. After THAT horrific absurdity, Andy Reid himself is personally duct-taping Mike Vick's chest back together as we speak.
"Lovie: Cutler seems okay" Uhhh, you mean, as okay as he ever is?? Or is that more like, compared to our backups, Cutler at 60% is better than they are?? If Cutler is okay, does that mean he turns back into his usual interception-throwing self??
"Sam Bradford Sails Through First Month" No kidding. He may well be in football purgatory, but he has played great. Won his last 2. On a bad team, with serious O-line issues. Rather amazing. We may never fully appreciate his talents.
Anyways, good luck next week!!!
KathB4, aka "The Doc", having a nice week.
I'd be remiss if I didn't mention this... KathB4 is also in a college football pool, with other people. Last week she was tied for first, in a pool of 1023 people. Not. Too. Shabby. Actually, it's insane. Nice job!!!
Feel free to send me your sick gambling exploits. I love great gambling stories. Tell me how you hit that killer 3 team teaser... Whatever. If it's epic enough, I'll share it here...
Not the most impressive Packer Victory I ever saw... These Lions are fiesty. They coulda won that game. The Packers may not be who we were led to believe they were... I don't have that Super Bowl feeling after the last two weeks....
The Bears, on the other hand, were who we thought they were. And then some. Ugh. Jay Cutler was who we thought he was. Somehow, despite all I hear about the Packers D, we certainly didn't feast on the Chicago offensive line like the Giants and Cowboys did.
At the 5:00 minute mark in the second quarter, am I starting to sense that these Patriots may have a problem??? Got the pick, but only got 3 out of it. 7-3, Dolphins. Hmm.
I just realized that we have a battle of Michigan QB's here. Brady of course had a very decorated careerr with the Michigan Wolverines, and Chad Henne was their QB as well, fairly recently.
Okay, 2 huge defensive stops... Whoops, pass interference on 3rd and ten, another first down for Miami. Wow.
Ricky Williams running wild in the secondary.... ugh.
Okay, Ninkovich gets his second pick of the half... Maybe these Patriots have a shot. First two picks of his career, right there...
At the half, Miami 7, Patriots 6. Hmm. Patriots will receive in the second half.
OMG, will they ever!!! Opening kickoff, Tate runs the kick back 103 yards for the TD!!! Whoa.
**************
Whoops, fell asleep. I'll spare the readers the ten pages of "sssssssssssssssss" where my hand fell asleep on the "s" key... Heh heh... What can I say, they're trying to kill me at work. Sent me to communist Madison to report... what a thrill. Let me set the stage, the CO I report to is situated between a check cashing center and a liquor store, a block off the highway. Heh heh, yeah, the neighborhood, ummm, yeah, uhh, let's just say, it could be better. Not exactly where one might choose to park one's mint Escalade... To say nothing of the extra 60 frickin' miles a day I have to drive.
Ahh, I was so excited when I got this job, back in November of 1999... It's taken them awhile, but I can safely say right now they've beaten the life out of me. Driving to Madison yesterday, there was some insane thick fog on the interstate... I'm following a semi, maybe 6 car lengths, whoosh, he disappears. That'd be about right. They've been trying to kill me for years, if I got killed on the way to work, that would be a fitting capstone to my experience here with this employer.
Anyways, what happened with that football game??? There were a few interested parties, Sharpcheddar and Badgergil. Hold on, checking....
Wow, Patriots sepcial teams came alive in the second half, apparently. 41-14, Pats.
Tom Brady again etches himself into the record books, fastest to 100 career wins. Nice job buddy. Jon Gruden during the game says "If I could be anyone else, I'd wanna be Tom Brady. This guy HAS IT ALL!!!!" Well said. I love Gruden.
In case you don't get what he means by "has it all", this is Brady's GF, Gisele Bundchen:
Congrats to Badgergil. Second week in a row, he scores the big win. Nice job man.
Sharpcheddar and the Big Headed Holy Rollers each had ten correct picks. No easy task, with upsets flying everywhere. This could be Sharpcheddar's kind of year, he loooves the upset.
Let's look at a few headlines, then I gotta go.
"Vick expects to miss a week, maybe two" Yeah, that's no good. Did you SEE Kevin Kolb in that game??? Whoa. Eagles fans hopefully had a wastebasket with a plastic liner handy while they watched THAT debacle. After THAT horrific absurdity, Andy Reid himself is personally duct-taping Mike Vick's chest back together as we speak.
"Lovie: Cutler seems okay" Uhhh, you mean, as okay as he ever is?? Or is that more like, compared to our backups, Cutler at 60% is better than they are?? If Cutler is okay, does that mean he turns back into his usual interception-throwing self??
"Sam Bradford Sails Through First Month" No kidding. He may well be in football purgatory, but he has played great. Won his last 2. On a bad team, with serious O-line issues. Rather amazing. We may never fully appreciate his talents.
Anyways, good luck next week!!!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Picking While Intoxicated...
Heh heh. I wish that was my excuse. I was actually trying.
Honestly, I changed my Houston pick to Dallas Sunday Morning. I'm starting to feel some handicapping juice flowing here... I also had the Chiefs. I'm a little proud of that.
Seriously, how about Braylon Edwards, eh?? Twice the limit, 5 AM... Nice. The human dropped pass, now this... With teammates in the car no less. Check me on this, but aren't there like 10 million cabs in NYC???
Anyway, congrats to Badgergil, a nice win in week 3.
Hold on, I just got a stat update from the Packer game... another holding penalty was just called. Wow.
Erin07 keeps telling me he's not a Bears fan, but there he was with the Bears in that game.... I think we can safely say he has latent Bears tendencies...
Hey, do you think she's cheering for my picks??? Heh heh, no, probably not. She's cheering the Chiefs on to another big win. 3-0!!! What were the Vegas odds on a 3-0 start for the Chiefs?!?!?
This is the Haldron Super-Collider, buried underground on the French-Swiss Border. It's back up and running again, at half power, after a year of maintenance. 6 tons of liquid helium accidentally escaped from this thing. Whoops! Hey, if I attached 6 tons of helium to my picks, would they rise up the standings???
Sigh... This week doesn't look any easier. Sunday night, The Fraud That Is Eli Manning plays the Fraud That Is Da Bears... ugh. 1 point. Flip the "executive decision maker" here... okay, heads.
Speaking of Frauds, how about those Vikings!!! Heh heh.. It's got a very different feel this year. If they get to like, oh, say 2-7, does Favre pull an "Al Czervik" from Caddyshack and bow out???
(Liner note: for those not intimately familiar with this movie, firstly, shame on you. Go rent it, or whatever. Ahem, point being, Rodney Dangerfield, in the role of Al Czervik, is playing a big money match against Judge Smails (the immortal Ted Knight), and playing badly. An errant tee shot hits a ball washer, bounces back, and lightly hits Dangerfield in the arm. He stands there for a couple seconds, thinking nothing of it, and then in his inimitable style, his eyes go wide open, and he says "Ooooh! Oooh, my arm!!!" and starts to rub it, in an absurd pantomime of an actual injured person. He begs out of the match, and in the movie's pivotal development, Danny Noonan substitutes for Big Al Czervik, and they win the match.)
Does Favre pull the old "Oooh, my arm!!!" gambit when all hope is lost??? Sounds crazy, but there is some precedent... Ken Griffey Jr. retired midseason in baseball...
These games are not getting any easier. Seattle at St. Louis. Wow. Baltimore at Pittsburgh. New England at Miami.
Hey, did you see Julius Peppers terrorizing the Packer O-line?? Yeah, me too. Hey, guess what?? He was a free agent for quite a while!!! What say you, Defenders of the Tedly?? We coulda HAD THAT GUY!!! I'm just sayin'.... We coulda had that guy. Just sayin... Woulda been kinda fun to have that guy on OUR team.... Just sayin'...
Let's assess these Packers for a second: Had too many penalties last year, Coach Mike was gonna clean that up. Okay, still some work to do there... Special teams sucked last year. Yeah, still some work to do there... Why exactly are we punting to Devin Hester??? Have I mentioned that punters ought to punt about 40-45 yards, towards the frickin' sidelines?? Yeah, only about a zillion times. Especially if your punt coverage is kinda sucky, Coach Mike, you REEELY oughtta punt to the sidelines. And your coverage is sucky. Heh heh, oh my, yes, it is sucky.
And dare I bring it up again?? Jake, Dalton, Nick, Kevin, Nigel, Ian, Gabe... If you guys aren't out punting and place kicking, I don't know what to tell you anymore. Sebastian Janikowski gets paid millions to MISS KICKS!!!
New England is young, and they look shaky on Defense, but I have a funny feeling. Plus, just for laughs, imagine if they had Oakland's #1 pick in next year's draft... Heh heh, oh wait, they DO! Wow.
Anyway, have fun and good luck.
Honestly, I changed my Houston pick to Dallas Sunday Morning. I'm starting to feel some handicapping juice flowing here... I also had the Chiefs. I'm a little proud of that.
Seriously, how about Braylon Edwards, eh?? Twice the limit, 5 AM... Nice. The human dropped pass, now this... With teammates in the car no less. Check me on this, but aren't there like 10 million cabs in NYC???
Anyway, congrats to Badgergil, a nice win in week 3.
Hold on, I just got a stat update from the Packer game... another holding penalty was just called. Wow.
Erin07 keeps telling me he's not a Bears fan, but there he was with the Bears in that game.... I think we can safely say he has latent Bears tendencies...
Hey, do you think she's cheering for my picks??? Heh heh, no, probably not. She's cheering the Chiefs on to another big win. 3-0!!! What were the Vegas odds on a 3-0 start for the Chiefs?!?!?
This is the Haldron Super-Collider, buried underground on the French-Swiss Border. It's back up and running again, at half power, after a year of maintenance. 6 tons of liquid helium accidentally escaped from this thing. Whoops! Hey, if I attached 6 tons of helium to my picks, would they rise up the standings???
Sigh... This week doesn't look any easier. Sunday night, The Fraud That Is Eli Manning plays the Fraud That Is Da Bears... ugh. 1 point. Flip the "executive decision maker" here... okay, heads.
Speaking of Frauds, how about those Vikings!!! Heh heh.. It's got a very different feel this year. If they get to like, oh, say 2-7, does Favre pull an "Al Czervik" from Caddyshack and bow out???
(Liner note: for those not intimately familiar with this movie, firstly, shame on you. Go rent it, or whatever. Ahem, point being, Rodney Dangerfield, in the role of Al Czervik, is playing a big money match against Judge Smails (the immortal Ted Knight), and playing badly. An errant tee shot hits a ball washer, bounces back, and lightly hits Dangerfield in the arm. He stands there for a couple seconds, thinking nothing of it, and then in his inimitable style, his eyes go wide open, and he says "Ooooh! Oooh, my arm!!!" and starts to rub it, in an absurd pantomime of an actual injured person. He begs out of the match, and in the movie's pivotal development, Danny Noonan substitutes for Big Al Czervik, and they win the match.)
Does Favre pull the old "Oooh, my arm!!!" gambit when all hope is lost??? Sounds crazy, but there is some precedent... Ken Griffey Jr. retired midseason in baseball...
These games are not getting any easier. Seattle at St. Louis. Wow. Baltimore at Pittsburgh. New England at Miami.
Hey, did you see Julius Peppers terrorizing the Packer O-line?? Yeah, me too. Hey, guess what?? He was a free agent for quite a while!!! What say you, Defenders of the Tedly?? We coulda HAD THAT GUY!!! I'm just sayin'.... We coulda had that guy. Just sayin... Woulda been kinda fun to have that guy on OUR team.... Just sayin'...
Let's assess these Packers for a second: Had too many penalties last year, Coach Mike was gonna clean that up. Okay, still some work to do there... Special teams sucked last year. Yeah, still some work to do there... Why exactly are we punting to Devin Hester??? Have I mentioned that punters ought to punt about 40-45 yards, towards the frickin' sidelines?? Yeah, only about a zillion times. Especially if your punt coverage is kinda sucky, Coach Mike, you REEELY oughtta punt to the sidelines. And your coverage is sucky. Heh heh, oh my, yes, it is sucky.
And dare I bring it up again?? Jake, Dalton, Nick, Kevin, Nigel, Ian, Gabe... If you guys aren't out punting and place kicking, I don't know what to tell you anymore. Sebastian Janikowski gets paid millions to MISS KICKS!!!
New England is young, and they look shaky on Defense, but I have a funny feeling. Plus, just for laughs, imagine if they had Oakland's #1 pick in next year's draft... Heh heh, oh wait, they DO! Wow.
Anyway, have fun and good luck.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Move the target closer...
Well, first off, congrats to RONFIC for his week one win... Nice.
I personally sucked... I fired at the target, and missed it completely.
HighZ needed the Jets and Chargers, and he didn't get them...
Do you realize there's people out there who are incapable of writing a check?? Honest to god, they can't write 10 words on a piece of funny colored paper, nor can they write 8 words on an envelope, much less place a stamp on it.... Friends, your contribution of $1900 a week could help these individuals lead a normal life... Won't you please help???
Well, I started this Saturday, but I had a little computer problem.... My old desktop system has been dying a slow death since, ohh, I dunno, August of 2008... So, as I try to transition to this laptop, the thrills never stop. This thing is real close to being run downrange and fired upon....
I thought this week would be different, but it is clearly not. Wow. Whew. I'm gonna have to increase my self-medication here.... I thought I had a dead skunk in here... turns out, it was my picks I was smelling....
Hey, Wade Phillips?? See ya. Enjoy the rest of the fall, and the Holiday Season at home. You're done. Wow. Ardita, die hard Bears fan, the only person who had that... The Bears should be 0-2, and they're 2-0. The Vikings are 0-2. Favre Hating Nation members will not be at work tomorrow. The partying is going to go deep into the night...
I said before the Packer game that anything less than 38-10 would be a danger sign. 34-7, that's close enough. Although watching that game, the first half seemed a little slow to get going. Luckily the Bills are really bad.
I sort of have the Indy Giants game on... I see the Giants are getting the calls.
Okay, Colts just went up 14-0, and The Fraud That is Eli Manning just threw up an absurd pick into triple coverage... Heh heh, some things never change...
Patriots loss, wow, what happened there... I watched the game, and I'm still not sure what happened. They can stop force-feeding the ball to Moss, that's for sure...
Week 2 is still up in the air. Good luck, and enjoy!
I personally sucked... I fired at the target, and missed it completely.
HighZ needed the Jets and Chargers, and he didn't get them...
Do you realize there's people out there who are incapable of writing a check?? Honest to god, they can't write 10 words on a piece of funny colored paper, nor can they write 8 words on an envelope, much less place a stamp on it.... Friends, your contribution of $1900 a week could help these individuals lead a normal life... Won't you please help???
Well, I started this Saturday, but I had a little computer problem.... My old desktop system has been dying a slow death since, ohh, I dunno, August of 2008... So, as I try to transition to this laptop, the thrills never stop. This thing is real close to being run downrange and fired upon....
I thought this week would be different, but it is clearly not. Wow. Whew. I'm gonna have to increase my self-medication here.... I thought I had a dead skunk in here... turns out, it was my picks I was smelling....
Hey, Wade Phillips?? See ya. Enjoy the rest of the fall, and the Holiday Season at home. You're done. Wow. Ardita, die hard Bears fan, the only person who had that... The Bears should be 0-2, and they're 2-0. The Vikings are 0-2. Favre Hating Nation members will not be at work tomorrow. The partying is going to go deep into the night...
I said before the Packer game that anything less than 38-10 would be a danger sign. 34-7, that's close enough. Although watching that game, the first half seemed a little slow to get going. Luckily the Bills are really bad.
I sort of have the Indy Giants game on... I see the Giants are getting the calls.
Okay, Colts just went up 14-0, and The Fraud That is Eli Manning just threw up an absurd pick into triple coverage... Heh heh, some things never change...
Patriots loss, wow, what happened there... I watched the game, and I'm still not sure what happened. They can stop force-feeding the ball to Moss, that's for sure...
Week 2 is still up in the air. Good luck, and enjoy!
Sunday, September 5, 2010
103 Hours...
103 Hours people.
Thursday, September 9th, 8:30 Eastern, 7:30 Central, On NBC, we have The Minnysoda Vikings traveling to New Orleans to face Drew Brees and your Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints.
Dare I say, this is a huge game. Huge.
I was watching a little college ball yesterday... Michigan and Michigan State looked okay, actually. But anyway, one of the announcers asks some ex-player color analyst "How do you feel about opening the season against a cupcake opponent??"
(Which, if I may, seemed like a super dumb question. Michigan was playing UConn, who many pundits thought would win the game... Yeah, Michigan was up 21-0 at the time, and cruising, but it wasn't like they were playing South Dakota Southwest Prairie Tech's Intramural Team... It's frickin' UConn. If anything, it was a credit to Michigan, they came out, played crisp, and looked good.)
The analyst said something like this: "I hate it. I'd rather play a big time opponent. If you win the game, it gets your whole season off to a huge start. You're as healthy as you're going to be all year. Nobody has seen your film yet. In many ways, it's your best chance to beat a great team."
Interesting point.
Vikings Saints, Ridiculous game to handicap. I'll just go 1 point, and flip a coin, how about that....
Such crazy talk, from your fearless leader, last year's season's champ. How dare you!!! Flip a coin... disgusting...
Anyway, Matt Leinart, released yesterday. Wow. Does his face go on Mount Bust-More???
Let's back up. Reviewing, Mount Bust-More is the faces of the 4 greatest NFL Busts of all time, carved in stone in Western South Dakota...
At the moment, Mount Bust-More has to be:
1. Tony Mandarich, the Greatest Offensive Line Prospect of all time...
2. JaMarcus Russell, "Jamarcus is a great Quarterback, Get over it!!!" Thanks Al. $40 million, for nothing.
3. Ryan Leaf. I could do a whole blog on this guy... Think back, the Chargers and Colts were 1-2 in that draft, and people were trying to decide, who is better, Leaf or Peyton Manning... I guess we found out!!
4. Andre Ware. Lions fans hate me for bringing him up, but he stunk royally in Detroit, Stunk up the CFL, stunk up NFL Europe, and finally retired. Brutally painful for the Lions, because they were running the "Run and Shoot" at the pro level, specifically to get the most out of Andre Ware... Ugh.
Matt Leinart. At the moment, it's too soon to tell. I can't throw him on that list. He could go somewhere else and be fine.
Maybe Mount Bust-More needs to grow, who knows. Brian Bosworth, anyone?? Heath Schuler. Akili Smith. Lawrence Phillips. Rae Carruth. See?? Starts getting tricky, going to just 4. Google some of those guys if you want a good laugh.
Although, may I quote from Yahoo Sports: "Matt Leinart showed more enthusiasm living the Hollywood life than working hard as a QB. That's why the Cardinals cut him." Aha. Okay, that doesn't bode well....
Bill Bidwell (again, owner of the Cardinals) is out in front of Kurt Warner's house right now with a Brinks truck full of cash, and Bruce Buffer on the microphone, yelling "Let's get readyyyyy to plaaaay foootbaaaaalll!!!"
If you didn't know it already, let me break this to you: This is a Quarterback League. Not that a good QB guarantees you anything, because it doesn't. (Review Rodgers, Aaron, and get back to me. Great QB, his GM does nothing to surround him. O-Line, question mark. Defense, question mark. Running back, non-existent. Special Teams, brutal, painful) But NO QB DOES IN FACT guarantee that you will stink.
The Proof: The Arizona Cardinals. With Warner, you're penciling them in for 10 wins right now, in a real soft division. Without Warner, can they win 6?? 7?? Derek Anderson, Cleveland Castoff. Case closed. You must have a QB.
Actually, some of you may remember this classic quote from when Anderson was released by the Browies: Upon leaving Cleveland, Anderson told The News-Herald, "The fans are ruthless and don't deserve a winner. I will never forget getting cheered when I was injured. I know at times I wasn't great. I hope and pray I'm playing when my team comes to town and (we) roll them."[7] He later apologized for his remarks.
Classic. Sadly, the Cardinals will not play the Browns this year....
Actually, they open at St Louis, who just named Sam Bradford their starter... Heh heh, good luck to Sam Bradford. You think the St Louis O-line is painful to watch?? Try Qb'ing behind it....
Tell you what, Mike Singletary (HC of the 49ers) is dreaming of an NFC West Title right now, with Arizona bowing out... The Rams and the Seahawks?? Please. Pencil the 49ers in right now.
Anyways, with only these few hours left, let's review a few things here:
No offseason could be complete without a Brett Favre Press Conference... okay, check that one off the list...
This is a cheerleader... Courtesy of the Houston Texans. Sure you don't wanna move to Houston?? Egad...
And finally, my sources have uncovered this just-released video of Matt Leinart's departure from Arizona... So long, Matt!!!
Okay, on a serious note, this guy is about to find out what happens when I don't get your money on time.... Get me the check, and get your picks in!!!
Side note: If you ever watched "90210" back in the day, you must check out Bill Simmon's 2-part podcast regarding his "90210" awards, in honor of last week's September second, 2010, which written in date form, is 9/02/10... Go on ESPN page 2, Sports Guy's World, and download those. Or on ITunes, "The BS Report". It's free, so relax.
People have asked me, "Why do you listen to so many podcasts??" Because where I drive for work, there's no radio. Or, there is, but's very eclectic. On 107.1 out of Fond Du Lac the other day, I heard Duran Duran, "Ordinary World". I can't remember the last time I heard Duran Duran on the radio. I'm not gonna lie, I sort of enjoyed it, actually. And I'm not gonna apologize if it ends up on my IPod. Then I heard some girl band (or so I thought) doing the Journey Classic "Don't Stop Believin'"... I was like, huh, who is that, doing that song??? Not that it was bad. So I asked some co-worker, she tells me, "Oh, you probably heard the version from Glee." I'm like, Huh?? What's Glee??? Sounds like a new toothpaste. She says no, it's a TV show, like High School Musical, except it's on TV... Hmm. Whatever. Let me file that under "I'm losing touch with the world, and getting older and less hip every second." And, to those of you who know me, I was never hip to begin with. So, this could be interesting. Although I am watching the Jersey Shore. And let me say briefly, I'm real tired of the whole Sam and Ronnie thing already. Enough. There's so many other lovely sublots developing, let's move it along... And ladies, if you are Sammi, and your boyfriend is Ronnie, and he's barely aware that you are alive, unless it's bedtime... Maybe you should just move on. All the hysterical dramatics are not necessary, and neither is getting back together. Just move on. Really. Save some dignity.
Football related Reality TV Note: Jimmy Johnson is going to be on Survivor. Premieres September 15th on CBS, changing to Wednesday, for no good reason. Yes, THAT Jimmy Johnson. How 'bout Dem Cowboys!!! Heh heh. What's the hair gonna look like after 3 days in the jungle?? Tune in and find out.
Okay, enough of that. Enjoy. And hey, let's be careful out there. And don't forget to have some fun!!
2009 Seasons Champion
Cadillac Pat
Thursday, September 9th, 8:30 Eastern, 7:30 Central, On NBC, we have The Minnysoda Vikings traveling to New Orleans to face Drew Brees and your Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints.
Dare I say, this is a huge game. Huge.
I was watching a little college ball yesterday... Michigan and Michigan State looked okay, actually. But anyway, one of the announcers asks some ex-player color analyst "How do you feel about opening the season against a cupcake opponent??"
(Which, if I may, seemed like a super dumb question. Michigan was playing UConn, who many pundits thought would win the game... Yeah, Michigan was up 21-0 at the time, and cruising, but it wasn't like they were playing South Dakota Southwest Prairie Tech's Intramural Team... It's frickin' UConn. If anything, it was a credit to Michigan, they came out, played crisp, and looked good.)
The analyst said something like this: "I hate it. I'd rather play a big time opponent. If you win the game, it gets your whole season off to a huge start. You're as healthy as you're going to be all year. Nobody has seen your film yet. In many ways, it's your best chance to beat a great team."
Interesting point.
Vikings Saints, Ridiculous game to handicap. I'll just go 1 point, and flip a coin, how about that....
Such crazy talk, from your fearless leader, last year's season's champ. How dare you!!! Flip a coin... disgusting...
Anyway, Matt Leinart, released yesterday. Wow. Does his face go on Mount Bust-More???
Let's back up. Reviewing, Mount Bust-More is the faces of the 4 greatest NFL Busts of all time, carved in stone in Western South Dakota...
At the moment, Mount Bust-More has to be:
1. Tony Mandarich, the Greatest Offensive Line Prospect of all time...
2. JaMarcus Russell, "Jamarcus is a great Quarterback, Get over it!!!" Thanks Al. $40 million, for nothing.
3. Ryan Leaf. I could do a whole blog on this guy... Think back, the Chargers and Colts were 1-2 in that draft, and people were trying to decide, who is better, Leaf or Peyton Manning... I guess we found out!!
4. Andre Ware. Lions fans hate me for bringing him up, but he stunk royally in Detroit, Stunk up the CFL, stunk up NFL Europe, and finally retired. Brutally painful for the Lions, because they were running the "Run and Shoot" at the pro level, specifically to get the most out of Andre Ware... Ugh.
Matt Leinart. At the moment, it's too soon to tell. I can't throw him on that list. He could go somewhere else and be fine.
Maybe Mount Bust-More needs to grow, who knows. Brian Bosworth, anyone?? Heath Schuler. Akili Smith. Lawrence Phillips. Rae Carruth. See?? Starts getting tricky, going to just 4. Google some of those guys if you want a good laugh.
Although, may I quote from Yahoo Sports: "Matt Leinart showed more enthusiasm living the Hollywood life than working hard as a QB. That's why the Cardinals cut him." Aha. Okay, that doesn't bode well....
Bill Bidwell (again, owner of the Cardinals) is out in front of Kurt Warner's house right now with a Brinks truck full of cash, and Bruce Buffer on the microphone, yelling "Let's get readyyyyy to plaaaay foootbaaaaalll!!!"
If you didn't know it already, let me break this to you: This is a Quarterback League. Not that a good QB guarantees you anything, because it doesn't. (Review Rodgers, Aaron, and get back to me. Great QB, his GM does nothing to surround him. O-Line, question mark. Defense, question mark. Running back, non-existent. Special Teams, brutal, painful) But NO QB DOES IN FACT guarantee that you will stink.
The Proof: The Arizona Cardinals. With Warner, you're penciling them in for 10 wins right now, in a real soft division. Without Warner, can they win 6?? 7?? Derek Anderson, Cleveland Castoff. Case closed. You must have a QB.
Actually, some of you may remember this classic quote from when Anderson was released by the Browies: Upon leaving Cleveland, Anderson told The News-Herald, "The fans are ruthless and don't deserve a winner. I will never forget getting cheered when I was injured. I know at times I wasn't great. I hope and pray I'm playing when my team comes to town and (we) roll them."[7] He later apologized for his remarks.
Classic. Sadly, the Cardinals will not play the Browns this year....
Actually, they open at St Louis, who just named Sam Bradford their starter... Heh heh, good luck to Sam Bradford. You think the St Louis O-line is painful to watch?? Try Qb'ing behind it....
Tell you what, Mike Singletary (HC of the 49ers) is dreaming of an NFC West Title right now, with Arizona bowing out... The Rams and the Seahawks?? Please. Pencil the 49ers in right now.
Anyways, with only these few hours left, let's review a few things here:
No offseason could be complete without a Brett Favre Press Conference... okay, check that one off the list...
This is a cheerleader... Courtesy of the Houston Texans. Sure you don't wanna move to Houston?? Egad...
And finally, my sources have uncovered this just-released video of Matt Leinart's departure from Arizona... So long, Matt!!!
Okay, on a serious note, this guy is about to find out what happens when I don't get your money on time.... Get me the check, and get your picks in!!!
Side note: If you ever watched "90210" back in the day, you must check out Bill Simmon's 2-part podcast regarding his "90210" awards, in honor of last week's September second, 2010, which written in date form, is 9/02/10... Go on ESPN page 2, Sports Guy's World, and download those. Or on ITunes, "The BS Report". It's free, so relax.
People have asked me, "Why do you listen to so many podcasts??" Because where I drive for work, there's no radio. Or, there is, but's very eclectic. On 107.1 out of Fond Du Lac the other day, I heard Duran Duran, "Ordinary World". I can't remember the last time I heard Duran Duran on the radio. I'm not gonna lie, I sort of enjoyed it, actually. And I'm not gonna apologize if it ends up on my IPod. Then I heard some girl band (or so I thought) doing the Journey Classic "Don't Stop Believin'"... I was like, huh, who is that, doing that song??? Not that it was bad. So I asked some co-worker, she tells me, "Oh, you probably heard the version from Glee." I'm like, Huh?? What's Glee??? Sounds like a new toothpaste. She says no, it's a TV show, like High School Musical, except it's on TV... Hmm. Whatever. Let me file that under "I'm losing touch with the world, and getting older and less hip every second." And, to those of you who know me, I was never hip to begin with. So, this could be interesting. Although I am watching the Jersey Shore. And let me say briefly, I'm real tired of the whole Sam and Ronnie thing already. Enough. There's so many other lovely sublots developing, let's move it along... And ladies, if you are Sammi, and your boyfriend is Ronnie, and he's barely aware that you are alive, unless it's bedtime... Maybe you should just move on. All the hysterical dramatics are not necessary, and neither is getting back together. Just move on. Really. Save some dignity.
Football related Reality TV Note: Jimmy Johnson is going to be on Survivor. Premieres September 15th on CBS, changing to Wednesday, for no good reason. Yes, THAT Jimmy Johnson. How 'bout Dem Cowboys!!! Heh heh. What's the hair gonna look like after 3 days in the jungle?? Tune in and find out.
Okay, enough of that. Enjoy. And hey, let's be careful out there. And don't forget to have some fun!!
2009 Seasons Champion
Cadillac Pat
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Let the Games Begin!
Hey, welcome to late summer.
The all important 3rd preseason weekend is about to kick off.
It appears the 18 game schedule is nearing a point where it's a done deal.
Not sure I'm for it.
Here's my thought.
We currently have a 16 game schedule, across 17 weeks, 1 bye week per team.
My proposal: 17 game schedule, 19 weeks, two byes per team, 2 preseason games.
I love it, personally. Preseason is kind of a joke.
Well, okay, I watched Titans Cardinals for awhile.... My immediate thought at kickoff was the familiar gut punch of "Wow, if I really had to pick this game, who would I take???" and realizing that I had no answer. Tough one to handicap. Hey, it's preseaon for my picking brain too, apparently. Leinart.... Vince Young... Hmmm. Okay, Titans for 1.
After you get a look at Matt Leinart, you realize immediately why Bill Bidwell's (Owner of the Cardinals) pants knees are so dirty.... He's been at Kurt Warner's house, on his knees, begging Kurt to came back!!!!
Ahhh, supposedly he "twittered" that he's not coming back, and to look up the word "retired". Oh well. If I could channel Al Pacino for a second, as detective Vincent Hannah of the Elite Robbery Homicide Unit of the LAPD, from the awesome movie "Heat", recall the scene when it looks like Neal has gotten away, and Pacino famously says "So long, motherf***er... You were good...." Kurt, so long, man. You were good. On behalf of fans everywhere, I apologize for the refs who jobbed you out of your second ring vs the Steelers. A travishamockery. I'm making an appointment right now to be in front of my TV when you are inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame.
I also always get a laugh out of seeing Chuck Cecil on the sidelines, Titans Defensive co-ordinator. Anyone besides me remember when he was the hard hitting safety for the Packers, who routinely broke open a scar on his head, and was seen with blood running down his face during the game???
(Author's note: I'm making so many typos, this is gonna take forever. I'm constantly re-typing. Preseason for my fingers too, I guess....)
Random thought number 2: how awesome is Jon Gruden in the booth??? During that intro shot, he looks like he's a real threat to bolt from the booth, run down to the sidelines, put a headset on, and start yelling at people. Awesome. That's actually a great booth, Ron Jaworski, Jon Gruden, and the fundamentally solid Mike Tirico. Real nice booth.
I did see Javon Ringer, too, former Michigan State Star... He looked good! Great to see him. Now that I'm watching a little college ball, I know a few of these guys.
You guys watching "30 for 30" on ESPN??? If not, you should be. I know, it comes and goes, they show it when they feel like it, but trust me, it's worth a little effort to see these. They had Michael Jordan's baseball career on last night. Fascinating look. Real well done. Heh heh, and in a hilarious side note, his manager in the minors was Terry Francona, now manager of the 2-time World Champion Boston Red Sox. Unreal.
Hey, did you hear that Tiger Woods got divorced??? Yeah, I guess there was a little trouble in his marriage. They kept it pretty quiet though... heh heh heh!!! Not really.
Rachel U. The person who brought the Tiger Woods Empire crashing down. Actually, in a true sign that this story will not die, I saw an uncomfirmed report today that she supposedly told a friend that she thought Tiger really loved her, and she hoped he would reach out to her. Heh heh!!!
Question: has anyone ever looked better in a pair of Ray Ban Aviator Sunglasses?? If they have, I don't know about it....
Anyway, I have emailed you if I have your payment. So if you sent it, and I don't have it, we need to address that. If you haven't sent it yet, you need to send it. Two weeks from right now, the season starts.
And if you have new people, have them email me, I will provide them with instructions to join.
Later!
The all important 3rd preseason weekend is about to kick off.
It appears the 18 game schedule is nearing a point where it's a done deal.
Not sure I'm for it.
Here's my thought.
We currently have a 16 game schedule, across 17 weeks, 1 bye week per team.
My proposal: 17 game schedule, 19 weeks, two byes per team, 2 preseason games.
I love it, personally. Preseason is kind of a joke.
Well, okay, I watched Titans Cardinals for awhile.... My immediate thought at kickoff was the familiar gut punch of "Wow, if I really had to pick this game, who would I take???" and realizing that I had no answer. Tough one to handicap. Hey, it's preseaon for my picking brain too, apparently. Leinart.... Vince Young... Hmmm. Okay, Titans for 1.
After you get a look at Matt Leinart, you realize immediately why Bill Bidwell's (Owner of the Cardinals) pants knees are so dirty.... He's been at Kurt Warner's house, on his knees, begging Kurt to came back!!!!
Ahhh, supposedly he "twittered" that he's not coming back, and to look up the word "retired". Oh well. If I could channel Al Pacino for a second, as detective Vincent Hannah of the Elite Robbery Homicide Unit of the LAPD, from the awesome movie "Heat", recall the scene when it looks like Neal has gotten away, and Pacino famously says "So long, motherf***er... You were good...." Kurt, so long, man. You were good. On behalf of fans everywhere, I apologize for the refs who jobbed you out of your second ring vs the Steelers. A travishamockery. I'm making an appointment right now to be in front of my TV when you are inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame.
I also always get a laugh out of seeing Chuck Cecil on the sidelines, Titans Defensive co-ordinator. Anyone besides me remember when he was the hard hitting safety for the Packers, who routinely broke open a scar on his head, and was seen with blood running down his face during the game???
(Author's note: I'm making so many typos, this is gonna take forever. I'm constantly re-typing. Preseason for my fingers too, I guess....)
Random thought number 2: how awesome is Jon Gruden in the booth??? During that intro shot, he looks like he's a real threat to bolt from the booth, run down to the sidelines, put a headset on, and start yelling at people. Awesome. That's actually a great booth, Ron Jaworski, Jon Gruden, and the fundamentally solid Mike Tirico. Real nice booth.
I did see Javon Ringer, too, former Michigan State Star... He looked good! Great to see him. Now that I'm watching a little college ball, I know a few of these guys.
You guys watching "30 for 30" on ESPN??? If not, you should be. I know, it comes and goes, they show it when they feel like it, but trust me, it's worth a little effort to see these. They had Michael Jordan's baseball career on last night. Fascinating look. Real well done. Heh heh, and in a hilarious side note, his manager in the minors was Terry Francona, now manager of the 2-time World Champion Boston Red Sox. Unreal.
Hey, did you hear that Tiger Woods got divorced??? Yeah, I guess there was a little trouble in his marriage. They kept it pretty quiet though... heh heh heh!!! Not really.
Rachel U. The person who brought the Tiger Woods Empire crashing down. Actually, in a true sign that this story will not die, I saw an uncomfirmed report today that she supposedly told a friend that she thought Tiger really loved her, and she hoped he would reach out to her. Heh heh!!!
Question: has anyone ever looked better in a pair of Ray Ban Aviator Sunglasses?? If they have, I don't know about it....
Anyway, I have emailed you if I have your payment. So if you sent it, and I don't have it, we need to address that. If you haven't sent it yet, you need to send it. Two weeks from right now, the season starts.
And if you have new people, have them email me, I will provide them with instructions to join.
Later!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Rule #17: Don't be a Hero...
Well, the season is now complete....
Somebody, remind me what we used to do before football season??? I'm drawing a blank here.
I'll tell you what I'm doing, I'm going to Las Vegas. You people can stay here and freeze to death.... (well, okay, those of you who live here in the frozen tundra upper midwest....Those of you in fun places like Texas and Florida, disregard.) Yep, when I'm through, they're gonna turn over the keys to the Mirage Hotel and Casino... I will break them.
Heh heh, yeah, whatever. Maybe I'll take a few hundred outta there and go home quietly... Lay on a few prop bets for next year... We'll see.
Well, obviously I was shocked by the Super Bowl result. Fun game to watch, though.
Sean Payton, you gotta hand it to him. He went on 4th, and even though he didn't get it, he managed the clock, managed the situation, and still got his field goal. Nicely done. Yeah, memo to Andy Reid and Brad Childress: THAT is how you manage and end-of-half/end-of-game scenario... Ugh.
Is this painful for Minnesota fan?? Knowing you pretty much should have beaten the Saints, and then seeing the Saints dismantle the Vikings???
I'll tell you what, Childress is no Sean Payton. He is not.
Call of the game HAD to be the onside kick, to open the second half. What a gutsy gutsy call. A monster. That's all or nothing, right there. You give the ball to Peyton Manning at the 40, nothing good is gonna happen.
I love that call. I do. You came all this way, why not go out there and try to win the game?!?!? You play to win the game!!!-Hermann Edwards.
Of course, if they DON'T get it, that is bad. Bad bad bad. Really though, Childress has to be the poster boy for "playing not to lose", which is very different than "playing to WIN." If Childress and the Vikings are there, does Childress make those calls?? NO effing way. Never happen.
Sean Payton gambled, and it worked. And I think it energized his team. I brought this up during the game, and was immediately told "Hey, you're dating yourself...", which is very true, but I distinctly recall Broncos-Redskins. Broncos jumped out to a 10-0 lead, and then it was all Redskins, turned into a blowout. And I had a funny feeling, but still, I just didn't think the Colts would lose. It was ten nothing, Colts in total control. Then the second quarter came... Then the onside recovery....
And still, I just figured the Colts would find a way. Peyton Manning is now 9-9 in postseason play.
I will tell you, Colts Fans, this one is going to hurt. This is gonna leave a skid mark on your heart, for the rest of your life. The Packers won it all in 96. And I didn't dare to believe. The team had been bad my whole life, literally. When they won that game, I was stunned, for days, I was in disbelief. And then there was acceptance.
So, now, the following year, I am believing. I am daring to dream! And I was younger then, and not so bitter, and cynical, and my employers hadn't beaten the life out of me yet... But anyway, then we go in to play the Broncos. We are heavy favorites. Broncos are a joke. I've already cleared a spot on my mantle for another Lombardi trophy... And we lost.
I'm still in heavy denial about that game. I've sort of cordoned that off with yellow crime scene tape. I just don't go there. Honestly, I'm sitting here right now, 13 years later, thinking "We REALLY didn't lose that game, did we??? Naaah, we couldn't have..."
My nephew was not alive for the Super Bowl win. And he's not little anymore. IN a couple years, he's going to Driver's Ed, okay.... So what, if he's really lucky, he'll be mid-30's, sitting in a bar, drunk off his ass, celebrating a Packer Super Bowl... the time goes by. There's been some tough tough losses these last 13 years.
Anyway, the good part is, we can STOP hearing about how Peyton Manning might be the greatest QB of all time. What an absurd argument. That's even more absurd than Kurt Warner NOT being in the Hall of Fame. If guys like Jim Kelly and Dan Marino and Fran Tarkenton are in the Hall, Warner has to be there. If he doesn't go, feel free to burn the place to the ground.
Peyton is great, but he's not the greatest ever. You might want to Wikipedia a guy named Joe Montana, and refresh your memory. Steve Young. Troy Aikman. Tom Brady. Terry Bradshaw. I mean, come on. Greatest ever? He has a ways to go before we throw him in that conversation....
BTW (that means "by the way", to you people who don't hang around message boards, or text, or whatever), how great was it to see Emmitt Smith and Jerry Rice go into the Hall of Fame. Wonderful. Those guys were very good. Ridiculous. Guys like Randy Moss and Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco need to look at Rice, put their pathetic diva acts aside, and just bow down to the greatness. Just bow down, and shut up. Chad Ochocinco isn't worthy to carry Jerry Rice's equipment bag...
Anyways, enjoy the offseason!!! Degenerate gamblers and football freaks, I salute you. It's been a fun season. I hope to see you all next year. God willing, we'll all still be here, we'll reload and try again!
Somebody, remind me what we used to do before football season??? I'm drawing a blank here.
I'll tell you what I'm doing, I'm going to Las Vegas. You people can stay here and freeze to death.... (well, okay, those of you who live here in the frozen tundra upper midwest....Those of you in fun places like Texas and Florida, disregard.) Yep, when I'm through, they're gonna turn over the keys to the Mirage Hotel and Casino... I will break them.
Heh heh, yeah, whatever. Maybe I'll take a few hundred outta there and go home quietly... Lay on a few prop bets for next year... We'll see.
Well, obviously I was shocked by the Super Bowl result. Fun game to watch, though.
Sean Payton, you gotta hand it to him. He went on 4th, and even though he didn't get it, he managed the clock, managed the situation, and still got his field goal. Nicely done. Yeah, memo to Andy Reid and Brad Childress: THAT is how you manage and end-of-half/end-of-game scenario... Ugh.
Is this painful for Minnesota fan?? Knowing you pretty much should have beaten the Saints, and then seeing the Saints dismantle the Vikings???
I'll tell you what, Childress is no Sean Payton. He is not.
Call of the game HAD to be the onside kick, to open the second half. What a gutsy gutsy call. A monster. That's all or nothing, right there. You give the ball to Peyton Manning at the 40, nothing good is gonna happen.
I love that call. I do. You came all this way, why not go out there and try to win the game?!?!? You play to win the game!!!-Hermann Edwards.
Of course, if they DON'T get it, that is bad. Bad bad bad. Really though, Childress has to be the poster boy for "playing not to lose", which is very different than "playing to WIN." If Childress and the Vikings are there, does Childress make those calls?? NO effing way. Never happen.
Sean Payton gambled, and it worked. And I think it energized his team. I brought this up during the game, and was immediately told "Hey, you're dating yourself...", which is very true, but I distinctly recall Broncos-Redskins. Broncos jumped out to a 10-0 lead, and then it was all Redskins, turned into a blowout. And I had a funny feeling, but still, I just didn't think the Colts would lose. It was ten nothing, Colts in total control. Then the second quarter came... Then the onside recovery....
And still, I just figured the Colts would find a way. Peyton Manning is now 9-9 in postseason play.
I will tell you, Colts Fans, this one is going to hurt. This is gonna leave a skid mark on your heart, for the rest of your life. The Packers won it all in 96. And I didn't dare to believe. The team had been bad my whole life, literally. When they won that game, I was stunned, for days, I was in disbelief. And then there was acceptance.
So, now, the following year, I am believing. I am daring to dream! And I was younger then, and not so bitter, and cynical, and my employers hadn't beaten the life out of me yet... But anyway, then we go in to play the Broncos. We are heavy favorites. Broncos are a joke. I've already cleared a spot on my mantle for another Lombardi trophy... And we lost.
I'm still in heavy denial about that game. I've sort of cordoned that off with yellow crime scene tape. I just don't go there. Honestly, I'm sitting here right now, 13 years later, thinking "We REALLY didn't lose that game, did we??? Naaah, we couldn't have..."
My nephew was not alive for the Super Bowl win. And he's not little anymore. IN a couple years, he's going to Driver's Ed, okay.... So what, if he's really lucky, he'll be mid-30's, sitting in a bar, drunk off his ass, celebrating a Packer Super Bowl... the time goes by. There's been some tough tough losses these last 13 years.
Anyway, the good part is, we can STOP hearing about how Peyton Manning might be the greatest QB of all time. What an absurd argument. That's even more absurd than Kurt Warner NOT being in the Hall of Fame. If guys like Jim Kelly and Dan Marino and Fran Tarkenton are in the Hall, Warner has to be there. If he doesn't go, feel free to burn the place to the ground.
Peyton is great, but he's not the greatest ever. You might want to Wikipedia a guy named Joe Montana, and refresh your memory. Steve Young. Troy Aikman. Tom Brady. Terry Bradshaw. I mean, come on. Greatest ever? He has a ways to go before we throw him in that conversation....
BTW (that means "by the way", to you people who don't hang around message boards, or text, or whatever), how great was it to see Emmitt Smith and Jerry Rice go into the Hall of Fame. Wonderful. Those guys were very good. Ridiculous. Guys like Randy Moss and Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco need to look at Rice, put their pathetic diva acts aside, and just bow down to the greatness. Just bow down, and shut up. Chad Ochocinco isn't worthy to carry Jerry Rice's equipment bag...
Anyways, enjoy the offseason!!! Degenerate gamblers and football freaks, I salute you. It's been a fun season. I hope to see you all next year. God willing, we'll all still be here, we'll reload and try again!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Rule #1: Cardio
Rule #2: Double Tap.
If you have NO IDEA what I'm talking about, go rent "Zombieland". Great movie.
By the way, it's a COMEDY. Seriously, it's a comedy. Check it out.
Anyways, speaking of Zombies, Vikings Fans have to be in a lot of pain. Bill Simmons called it a level 1 Gut Punch Loss. I see it more as a "Baseball Bat To The Head" loss... The kind of loss that hits you in the head like a baseball bat, knocks you down... You come to, on the floor, head screaming, ears ringing... You're nauseous, and you're wondering "What just happened??"
I fear for my brother-in-law's safety. Although by now, they've taken the restraints off of him, and he's free to wander around the padded cell... He's still locked in, but, he's not strapped to a gurney anymore... We'll call that progress.
30 yard line, minute to go, 2 timeouts.... The winning field goal is about to be kicked, right???
12 men in the huddle??? Coming out of a timeout??? Seriously??? Ugh...
Minnesota, besides some glaring mistakes, really outplayed the Saints...
First Downs
Minnesota 31, Saints 15
3rd Down Efficiency
Minnesota 7-12 Saints 3-12
Total Yards
Minnesota 475, Saints 257
They lost, I know... But this doesn't bode well for the Saints. Favre Hating Nation can bash all they want, and that's fine... In the last 10 years, Brett Favre has a pile of brutal postseason losses on his resume. But really, I personally think the game was lost on the Peterson fumble at the end of the first half. Vikings are getting ready to go into the half 21-14... Instead, Peterson Fumble, half over. Saints get the 2nd half kickoff, go down the field, it's now Saints 21-14... That's a big missed touchdown...
Take Indy in this one, minus the 5. Two minutes into this game, everyone is going to say "Oh yeah, that's right, the Colts are pretty good, we all knew they'd win..."
I'd take the over, also. Over 56, I believe.
People are starting to try to make the case for the Saints. I dunno. They would need the perfect game, to win, I think.
As long as football is winding down, a quick Reality TV note: Survivor Heroes vs Villians is coming up, February 11th. I am psyched. I might be a little TOO excited to see this. The cast is off the hook. Should be epic. I didn't jump on the Jersey Shore, and now I fel like I missed something. Through the magic of DVR's, maybe I can catch up.
Later!
If you have NO IDEA what I'm talking about, go rent "Zombieland". Great movie.
By the way, it's a COMEDY. Seriously, it's a comedy. Check it out.
Anyways, speaking of Zombies, Vikings Fans have to be in a lot of pain. Bill Simmons called it a level 1 Gut Punch Loss. I see it more as a "Baseball Bat To The Head" loss... The kind of loss that hits you in the head like a baseball bat, knocks you down... You come to, on the floor, head screaming, ears ringing... You're nauseous, and you're wondering "What just happened??"
I fear for my brother-in-law's safety. Although by now, they've taken the restraints off of him, and he's free to wander around the padded cell... He's still locked in, but, he's not strapped to a gurney anymore... We'll call that progress.
30 yard line, minute to go, 2 timeouts.... The winning field goal is about to be kicked, right???
12 men in the huddle??? Coming out of a timeout??? Seriously??? Ugh...
Minnesota, besides some glaring mistakes, really outplayed the Saints...
First Downs
Minnesota 31, Saints 15
3rd Down Efficiency
Minnesota 7-12 Saints 3-12
Total Yards
Minnesota 475, Saints 257
They lost, I know... But this doesn't bode well for the Saints. Favre Hating Nation can bash all they want, and that's fine... In the last 10 years, Brett Favre has a pile of brutal postseason losses on his resume. But really, I personally think the game was lost on the Peterson fumble at the end of the first half. Vikings are getting ready to go into the half 21-14... Instead, Peterson Fumble, half over. Saints get the 2nd half kickoff, go down the field, it's now Saints 21-14... That's a big missed touchdown...
Take Indy in this one, minus the 5. Two minutes into this game, everyone is going to say "Oh yeah, that's right, the Colts are pretty good, we all knew they'd win..."
I'd take the over, also. Over 56, I believe.
People are starting to try to make the case for the Saints. I dunno. They would need the perfect game, to win, I think.
As long as football is winding down, a quick Reality TV note: Survivor Heroes vs Villians is coming up, February 11th. I am psyched. I might be a little TOO excited to see this. The cast is off the hook. Should be epic. I didn't jump on the Jersey Shore, and now I fel like I missed something. Through the magic of DVR's, maybe I can catch up.
Later!
Monday, January 25, 2010
The Ultimate Pitching Staff of Women....
Well, since we have a couple of weeks here, we may as well have some fun.
Thus, I will now lay out my own Ultimate Pitching Staff of Women.
This concept basically goes as such: you take the cutest girls in the world, pick the best ones, in the mold of a major league pitching staff. You have starting pitchers, you have a bullpen, you have a closer.
The origins of this concept are sketchy. I thought a buddy of mine came up with this, and never heard of it outside that "circle". Others have told me this was on a "Friends" Episode... Others have said radio DeeJays came up with it... Whatever. Also, if you're not a big baseball fan, and don't grasp the particulars of a pitching staff, don't worry, this is just for fun.
Also, we are setting aside the tricky questions of "in her prime", and things of that nature. I mean, Sharon Stone, in her prime, is a starting pitcher. Today?? Ehhh, probably not. We're just saying, today, or near today. Recent work.
Also, with apologies to Jake, Dalton, and the other young bucks who read this... There will be pictures, but this is not bikinis and whipped cream and other nonsense. This will be safe for work. And it probably skews too old for you guys anyway, so.... Full disclosure, I am between 43 and 49, how about that for a range...
Now then, here we go!
The Ultimate Pitching Staff
#1 Starter: Marissa Miller
If I needed to win game 6 of the World Series, my ultimate starting pitcher, she is it.
Here she is in a True Religion Jeans ad... Yow, I think I'd like a pair of those...
#2 Starter: Kate Beckinsale
She's probably a #1 on many staffs, but we're talking about a dream team here, so, sadly, Ms. Beckinsale will be our #2 starter. Who can forget her from "Underworld" or "Serendipity". Serendipity, by the way, should be seen for Kate Beckinsale alone, but also, it is a good movie, and funny...
Uhh, can I get a sip of that Diet Coke??? Thanks!
And who can forget Selene from "Underworld"??? Nobody...
#3 Starter: Uma Thurman
Again, an awfully strong pitcher, could be a #1 anywhere else... Except here. A classic beauty no doubt...
And who can forget her from "Kill Bill"??? Nobody...
#4 Starter: Charlize Theron
Yes, the Pride of South Africa has to be a starter on my staff here...
"The Italian Job", a fun movie that should be seen....
#5 Starter: Megan Fox
Real tough choice. Suffice it to say, someone from the bullpen could take her spot at any moment, but for now, we'll go with her. Rumors are that Michael Bay is trying desperately to cast someone else for "Transformers 3", so, you'll have to catch her work in the first 2 movies on Blu-Ray from here on out...
Who can forget this scene from the first "Transformers" Movie?? NObody...
On to the bullpen. First, a couple of Specialists.
8th Inning Setup / Short Relief: Ali Larter
If you don't watch "Heroes", you've never seen her, you have no clue who she is. Very very underrated. Needs to get 1 big breakout movie role to be the next Sharon Stone. She did have a supporting role in "Resident Evil: Extinction", you may have seen her there....
9th Inning Closer: Maria Sharapova
Professional Tennis Player "slash" modeling sensation, she has actually won a few tennis tourneys, and is awfully good looking...
Bullpen (in no particular order)
Shana Hiatt: Shana Hiatt used to host the "World Poker Tour". Besides being great looking, she knew something about cards, had a repor with the players, and did a nice job during interviews of asking the right question at the right time. Since she left, they've plowed through a dozen replacements, each more amazingly lame than the last.... They oughta call her back tomorrow, and give her whatever she wants...
Milla Jovovich: You either like her or you don't. I like. You gotta love her in the "Resident Evil" series of movies. Also was in a wacky sci-fi space opera called "The Fifth Element" with Bruce Willis and Gary Oldman. I was teetering on giving her the 5th starter spot....
Ashley Judd: Besides being a University of Kentucky sports fan, you never see her anymore, which is a real shame. She was in "Heat", one of the greatest movies ever made... she was in a detective thing with Morgan Freeman, called "Kiss The Girls", great movie... She's married to Indy 500 winning driver Dario Franchitti... And I am told she is in the new Duane Johnson (AKA The Rock) movie "Tooth Fairy".... Probably should be the 5th Starter...
Alyson Hannigan Possibly a reach, but she's cute in her own way...
Stana Katic If you're not watching "Castle", you should be... Great show. Besides the fact that Detective Beckett is on the show, it's a fun show. The more I see her, the more I like her...
Jennifer Garner I couldn't leave her off. I couldn't do it. If you haven't seen "The Kingdom", you should, there's a wonderful running gun battle on the freeway that is a must see.
I seem to be out of spots on my roster.... Which is quite amazing. Let's look at a couple of fine pitchers who ended up staying in the minors after spring training... I just don't have enough roster spots....
Courteney Cox How is Courteney Cox not on the roster??? I don't know, It's crazy. She likes motorcycles, and puppies, and she's cute. I'm shaking my head in disbelief right now....
I honestly dug this up from an old motorcycle magazine, from one of their "Celebrities and Motorcycles" issues. This is seriously the young Courteney Cox, on her own motorcycle that she rode regularly... I can hear you now, you're saying "Get the Eff outta here!!" I will not get the Eff outta here, this is MY blog, and I'm telling you, that's Courteney Cox...
Natasha Henstridge Seriously, how can she NOT be on the roster. Go rent "Species", and then tell me "No, she's not on the roster." Absurd. Who made this list, anyways??? I gotta talk to that guy....
Jessica Alba She has to be on the list, right???
Anyways, enjoy. There's more that didn't make the cut either, but the arguing about the list is half the fun, so send those emails!!! The Favre hating emails are bound to slow down, so, I'll need something else to fill my inbox....
Later.
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