Tuesday, December 21, 2010

There arose such a clatter....

Hey!

Yeah, I'm still alive. Barely. Winter is sooo much fun. Why did I leave Florida??? Why did I leave Florida...

(trying to think of a reason....)

(still trying....)

Nevermind, let's just move on.

Week 14, Smitty201 crosses the goal line with the football!!!! Nice. Congrats on that. Smitty201 has been picking well all year, actually.

Week 15, The Big Headed Holy Rollers score their second win of the season! Nice. Congrats on that too, fellas.

Two weeks to go.

After two weeks, Erin07 was in 7th place for the season. He's in 7th place now. I must throw in an honorable mention though, he has picked 145 games correctly. More than anyone else in this pool.

I'm still in last, but I am within a couple points of Bulldogs Rule and Badgergil, and Sharpcheddar is in my sights... And yet, Badgergil has won 2 weeks, and Sharpcheddar 3. Hmmm. I'm just saying, don't pretend you don't see me closing the gap back here... I might end the season above last place.

Is it just me, or do these lines make no sense. Seriously, Detroit at Miami, Miami -3.5. Really. Hmmm, let's see, Detroit just went to Tampa and beat them, and Tampa is better than Miami. Also, Miami is 1-6 at home, and with this upcoming loss, they could finish their home schedule at 1-7. Really.

Then we move on to San Fran at St Louis. St Louis by 2.5 Insane. Why why why oh why do these 49ers get any respect at all from Vegas bookmakers??? Doesn't this line have to be St Louis by 5??? Really, this NFC West is just brutal. Maybe we need a rule that if you're not 8-8 or better, you don't go to the playoffs, no matter what. Scratch that division winner, and insert another wild card team.

San Diego by 7.5 over Cincy. Shouldn't that be San Diego by 21??? Is anyone out there still betting on Cincinnatti?? Really?? Why??

These games are brutal. Houston at Denver. Houston giving 2.5 points, on the road. Houston has no defense at all. Maybe Tim Tebow will go crazy all over that defense. Tebow isn't the next Phillip Rivers, but from what I've seen on YouTube, he's gonna be a decent backup / spot starter / wildcat guy / gadget QB for the next 14 years. He was okay. He'll be fine. Is he number one pick fine?? Ehhh, probably not. Would Denver fans like to crawl into a Hot Tub Time Machine and get a "do-over" on the last two years??? Ehhh, probably.

I'm slightly curious... Is Favre Hating Nation satisfied yet?? Your Boy, number 4, has been beaten down almost as bad as a dude can be beaten down. I guess he doesn't have a compound fracture in the Tibia yet, or a depressed skull fracture... He doesn't have a horrific Joe Thiesman style broken leg.... But he's been hit about as hard as a guy can be hit on a football field. You guys satisfied, or do you need to see more?? Just curious...

When are the tough questions going to start being asked about Mike McCarthy?? This is the end of year 5. No questions yet?

Mike Sherman's 1st 5 years: 53 and 27. 3 NFC North Titles. 2-4 in Postseason.
Mike McCarthy's 1st 5 years: 46 and 32. 1 NFC North Title. 1-2 in Postseason.

There seemed to be a feeling that Sherman wasn't getting it done. Do we feel that McCarthy is??

Really??

From my research staff, I find out that Mike Sherman is now in his 3rd year as the Head Coach at Texas A&M. After 2 losing seasons, He won himself a Big 12 South Title, and will face LSU in The AT&T Cotton Bowl, played in Cowboys Stadium, Arlington Texas, January 7th, 7PM, on Fox. It'd be fun to see Mike Sherman show Les Miles how it's done.

Nice to have a personal assistant and a staff to look this stuff up. I had no idea. If I had known, I might have took vacation to go to Cowboys Stadium...

Too late now. I guess I'll just have to suck it up and watch it on my 60 inch LCD... sigh.

Whoops, UConn just won their 89th straight game. Unreal. Tip of the Cap to Gino.

Anyways, don't you love those "holiday" letters you get, where people tell you how overly amazing their family is??? This one came in the mail the other day:

Dear Friends,

What a lucky break the CEO sent his personal jet to pick me up from Istanbul; there's plenty of room, since I have the entire aircraft to myself, to take out the laptop and write our annual holiday letter. Just let me ask the attendant for a better vintage of champagne, and I'll begin.

It's been another utterly hectic year for Chad and I and our remarkable children, yet nurturing and horizon-expanding. It's hard to know where the time goes. Well, a lot of it is spent in the car.

Rachel is in her senior year at Pinnacle-Upon-Hilltop Academy, and it seems just yesterday she was being pushed around in the stroller by our British nanny. Rachel placed first this fall in the state operatic arias competition. Chad was skeptical when I proposed hiring a live-in voice tutor on leave from the Lyric Opera, but it sure paid off! Rachel's girls' volleyball team lost in the semifinals owing to totally unfair officiating, but as I have told her, she must learn to overcome incredible hardship in life.

Now the Big Decision looms -- whether to take the early admission offer from Harvard or spend a year at Juilliard. Plus the whole back of her Mercedes is full of dance-company brochures as she tries to decide about the summer.

Nicholas is his same old self, juggling the karate lessons plus basketball, soccer, French horn, debate club, archaeology field trips, poetry-writing classes and his volunteer work. He just got the Yondan belt, which usually requires nine years of training after the Shodan belt, but prodigies can do it faster, especially if (not that I really believe this!) they are reincarnated deities.

Modeling for Gap cuts into Nick's schoolwork, but how could I deprive others of the chance to see him? His summer with Outward Bound in the Andes was a big thrill, especially when all the expert guides became disoriented and he had to lead the party out. But you probably read about that in the newspapers.

What can I say regarding our Emily? She's just been reclassified as EVVSUG&T -- "Extremely Very Very Super Ultra Gifted and Talented." The preschool retained a full-time teacher solely for her, to keep her challenged. Educational institutions are not allowed to discriminate against the gifted anymore, not like when I was young.

Yesterday Rachel sold her first still-life. It was shown at one of the leading galleries without the age of the artist disclosed. The buyers were thrilled when they learned!

Then there was the arrival of our purebred owczarek nizinny puppy. He's the little furry guy in the enclosed family holiday portrait by Annie Leibovitz. Because our family mission statement lists cultural diversity as a core value, we named him Mandela.

Chad continues to prosper and blossom. He works a few hours a day and spends the rest of the time supervising restoration of the house -- National Trust for Historic Preservation rules are quite strict. Corporate denial consulting is a perfect career niche for Chad. Fortune 500 companies call him all the time. There's a lot to deny, and Chad is good at it.

Me? Oh, I do this and that. I feel myself growing and flowering as a change agent. I yearn to empower the stakeholders. This year, I was promoted to COO and invited to the White House twice, but honestly, beading in the evening means just as much to me. I was sorry I had to let Carmen go on the same day I brought home my $14.6 million bonus, but she had broken a Flora Danica platter and I caught her making a personal call.

Chad and I got away for a week for a celebration of my promotion. We rented this quaint five-star villa on the Corsican coast. Just to ourselves -- we bought out all 40 rooms so it would be quiet and contemplative and we could ponder rising above materialism.

Our family looks to the New Year for rejuvenation and enrichment. Chad and I will be taking the children to Steamboat Springs over spring break, then in June I take the girls to Paris, Rome and Seville while Chad and Nicholas accompany Richard Gere to Tibet.

Then the kids are off to camps in Maine, and before we know it, we will be packing two cars to drive Rachel's things to college. And of course I don't count Davos or Sundance or all the routine excursions.

I hope your year has been as interesting as ours.

Love,
Jennifer, Chad, Rachel, Nicholas & Emily

Heh heh, okay, I got that from a Gregg Easterbrook column... Pretty funny though.

Anyways, Merry Christmas!! I sincerely hope everyone has a great, fun, and safe Holiday!!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Lucky 14

Well, week 13 is complete. Air Myles, with a real nice effort there. I thought I might have a chance. Sitting in a bar watching, I seemed to be doing well. My best finish of the year.

As I sit firmly in dead last for the season, I had to look back and remind myself that I did in fact win the season last year. Hmmm. Work is clearly driving me nuts, and I clearly don't have enough brain power left to make picks.

Anyway, do you want Season Tickets for The Packers next year?? Heh heh! Good luck!

No, seriously, check this out:



Yep. You could win a season's worth of Club Seats, which are indoors, which also means you could actually USE them. So, good luck with that, lottery gamblers!

Anyways, I have my 16 point pick in the jar once again. Along with VBS and Erin07, to be fair. We'll see if that leads to a victory.

I see Michael Wilbon is writing a column again. You probably know him from being a host on "Pardon The Interruption" with Korny Toneheiser. Or is it Tony Kornheiser?? Hard to keep track. Anyway, I like Wilbon, he's fine, but sometimes, these basketball people come out with an NFL opinion that just makes you say Huh???

Seriously, he states in his first article: "Peyton Manning is not the greatest QB to ever play... John Elway is."

Huh?? Whaaa??? Uhh, neither of those guys is even in the discussion. Sorry. My personal all-time QB List:

#1. Joe Montana. The greatest. Period. He worked a football field like the great masters worked in oils, or clay. Or like Robert Ludlum and James Michener worked a typewriter. 4 Super Bowls. 4 and 0. I still have the Sports Illustrated in my vault (okay, it's a box), it says "Joe Knows Super Bowls", it's a picture of Montana high fiving Guy McIntyre, one of his O-linemen.

Now there's really a gap, but I guess we need more on the list.

#2. Terry Bradshaw. In some ways, he suffers from Troy Aikman Syndrome, in that he played on deep good teams, and the winning might not have been all about him. But as a Cowboys fan, I never wanted to face Bradshaw. Never. He made plays when it mattered and he won big games.

#3. Troy Aikman. Loved the guy. He could make every throw, had a big arm, and was a great game manager. Was never a stats whore, and I think with the rise of Fantasy Football, he was never a great "fantasy" player, but he won big games, and came up big when it mattered.

#4. Steve Young. Really an amazing player. You never wanted to face him either. Played in Mighty Joe Montana's shadow, and the 49ers seemed awfully eager to begin the Steve Young Era. Which annoyed me for a few years, but in retrospect, he was really good, a dangerous player who could run and throw. Left Handed, hard to defend.

#5. Brett Favre. Yeah, his recent shenanigans have tarnished his legacy, to be sure. And this is from me, not a Favre hater. But really, in his prime, he was something else.

#6. Tom Brady. Was 17-0, and should have won that Super Bowl. If some idiot Giants player doesn't catch a miracle throw on the side of his helmet, Brady has authored the 18-0 season, has 4 Super Bowls, and goes to #2 on the list. If he wins the Super Bowl this year, he goes to number 2 on the list. We are watching history.

Honorable mentions: Ken Stabler, Jim Plunkett, Roger Staubach, Jim Kelly, Dan Fouts, Dan Marino, Kurt Warner. You never left the room when these guys were on offense.

Honorable mentions (playing right now): Drew Brees, Phillip Rivers. These guys are probably hall of famers, assuming their careers continue without serious injuries or other problems.

Anyway, Urban Meier retired again. Relax, he'll be back next week. Is this some Favrian thing sweeping the sports world, this continually retiring??

Bill Simmons intimated in a podcast this week that "The blood of the Cardinals 2010 season is all over Kurt Warner."

Really? No, not really. Warner actually knows what the word "retire" means. Their O-line wasn't very good, they were making no moves to improve it, he took some huge shots late in 2009, probably played with a concussion... And decided to hang it up. So be it. Let's remember, he had to basically blackmail the Cardinals to give him a contract after 08... So now he's gone, and it's all his fault that they stink on ice?? It's his fault The Great Matt Leinart couldn't play, or wasn't given a chance?? Ahhh, put me down for "No, not his fault."

Okay, from The Vault. For you young people, the Greatest QB Ever to lace 'em up and play. I give you Joe Montana:



Alright, good luck this week. The final 4 games. This. Is. it.