You're out of your element, Donny!

Hey, what's up?!?!?

Football!!! That's what's up.

Well, I see my money making Super Bowl betting tips would have cost you a lotta money. Sorry about that. I mean, if gambling were legal...

Who knew that Eli Manning was going to have 6 horseshoes surgically implanted in his butt?? Who knew??? Who knew a career 83-rated passer could stop throwing picks?? Who knew that ANOTHER miracle catch would occur along the sidelines??

Ahh, Wednesday night. The Dallas Cowboys will travel to New Jersey to play the New Jersey Giants, where again we will see the dramatic and hilarious stylings of Eli Manning.

You may have enjoyed some real football this past weekend, for the first time in a long time. I heard Brent Mussburger say "You are looking live at Cowboys Stadium!!!", and I knew the season had started.

And then I lost ten bucks on Michigan, heh heh, and then it REALLY felt like football season had started... ouch.

These picks, I mean, that also makes me feel like the season is underway. Right away on the screen, Buffalo at the Jets. Ugh! I'm gonna pick out a lucky coin, and just flip it, I think. Or maybe shuffle a lucky deck of cards and take a cut, red or black, and pick that way....

Which brings me to the first thing I'd like to bet on, but can't: Over/Under number of games before Tim Tebow replaces Mark Sanchez as starting QB of the Jets. (Highly un)official line: 9. I want the under real bad, whatever the number.

Word of advice to the Jets 3rd string QB: Be ready. You are going to play this year.

Seattle at Arizona. Heh! I just laugh... This is the Official Battle of Two Teams That signed other Teams Backup QB's to big Contracts, but then their New Expensive Quarterbacks Of The Future Couldn't Unseat Their No-Name Projected Backups. That's BOTTSOTBQBTBCBTTNEQBOTFCUTNNPB for short. Arizona signs Kevin Kolb from the Eagles for big money, and Skelton will start the season. Seattle signs Green Bay's own Matt Flynn to big money, then as an afterthought they pick up Russel Wilson, former UW Quarterback, and Wilson will start. Matt flynn will continue to hold the clipboard, but he'll be waaaaay better paid to do so. So, he's got that going for him...

Cheerleader Of The Week:

Danielle of the Saints!

Is there a Bounty on her?!?!? Gadzooks.

Oh, no he didn't. He did not just go there.

Yes he did. Come on, it was too easy, I had to do it.... You would have lost respect for me if I didn't.

Alright, get your picks in!!! 55 Hours to Kickoff!!!